That was once interested in you but went for someone else. Why does that shit stick with you more than the church's bullshit and fraud. Trying to figure out why that lasts longer and stays with you long after you left. Its like a pride thing nobody plays with and then rejects the badass.

That porn shoulder is frigid.

Indeed

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Well it feels like a bad thing to get rejected by a beauty for some reason.

I went on a blind date with Sandi Griffiths (redhead from Sandi & Sally on Lawrence Welk) Don't remember who set it up. But boy howdy that did not go well. I was not an RM.
'Nuff said.

Yes! The no RM is the killer every time damn that indoctrination.

How could I tell? Their shoulders are always covered up...!

Well true

Well Badass, I dated three Mormon women at three different times in my life to be told on three different dates that each woman had gotten engaged a couple of days earlier! Fuck! With the last one, I insisted she split the restaurant bill.

And you wondered why, at one time, I considered myself a loser. The Rejected--but Proud Boner.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2017 08:25PM by BYU Boner.

Seems pretty common at BYU. I had it happen to me twice. biatch

Yeah...one was at BYU and waiting for her missionary--her roommate told me because she knew I wasn't seeing things right.

The roommate pulled me aside and said something like, "You don't quite understand the dating scene here. You're a good guy, but she's waiting for someone." When I asked Paula, she told me, "Yeah, we're sort of engaged (she had a ring but didn't wear it)."

When I asked her why she went out with me, she replied, "You're a nice man and a lot of fun."

They just like me cause I'm funny I feel so used.

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I asked her why she went out with me, she
> replied, "You're a nice man and a lot of fun."

Did you ask if her finance knew she was dating nice men who were a lot of fun while he was away? Hmm? :)

Hahaha sorry I shouldn't laugh but I think I got rejected by six in my life so I am the ultimate loser by far I just never learned my lesson.

there was a very attractive girl I liked that was actually my neighbor. We went on a few dates but she liked someone else more. She ended up dating him a few years then married a fellow that was 8 years younger than herself and was reported to be complaining that he wasn't good enough for her, visiting his family instead of going to church or something like that. Probably don't have a good marriage when one of the partners is so perfect.

No, but I got a beautiful shoulder from a cold Mormon girl. BYU, circa 1984. It was cold Saturday evening, she was cold so naturally I tried to warm her up w/ my body heat. Oh those weren't the days my friend.

Those weren't the days haha. I want to quit dwelling on this one girl help me to get her out of my mind.

Beauty is only skin deep.

And then this saying, "Women are like buses. There's always another one around the next corner."

Try not to focus on Mormon women now that you're out of the cult. There will be other women, and you'll have ample opportunity to meet someone who's right for you.

Looks can be deceptive. (Like the cult was.) My dad got married to some really pretty face after he and my mom divorced. They annulled it within six weeks later. She was so caught up spending half the day putting on her makeup and so were her lovely daughters - preening and primping - dad soon realized they had nothing in common but a marriage license.

His next wife wasn't nearly as pretty, but she was practical, and her interests didn't revolve around her face. Seriously. Some of those knockout women may spend all their time getting their look on and keeping it that way. It's how they cope being Mormon maybe. They have to be perfect. And they want a perfect mate for a companion. That's a high bar to live up to.

I have thought that's the reason that all those knockout woman are trying super hard just to cope with being Mormon to be that perfect facade. They absolutely want that perfect mate and I am not it I'm close though haha jk. But the bar is way too high just like the Mormon celestial bar that nobody can truly reach but they act like they can.

badassadam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> They absolutely want that perfect mate and I am not

Thank God! If you were perfect you wouldn't tolerate guys with names like Boner!

I think I'm grateful for it too but I just can't get the superficial Mormon relationships anymore, it's funny how they all wanted me until they found out I was a rebel no mission and no temple. They just can't handle the badass I guess.

Yeah, I know what you mean. TBM women just can't handle the Boner!

Hahaha Zactly We are Bad to the Boner

I thought you'd like that! It's fun to be a real guy and not a paper cutout of something we could never be. Here's to you, Adam! Da Bone.

Haha that was all a good set up for super funny line Bad to the Boner I'm still laughing.

My dad was very happy with his last wife. He'd finally met his soul mate. They were both jack Mormons, and would joke with their jack Mormon friends about why they weren't in church (hated F&T meetings and all the sappy tears and repetition, and they would rather be in heaven with their friends, than in the Celestial Kingdom with the haughty.)

But back to the compatibility part. They were ideally suited to each other. They were married for nearly 20 years when she went before dad from cancer. Dad was sure she would outlive him as he was older. He outlived her by a few years. But they were happy. She was a handsome woman who exuded a lot of self-confidence. Her beauty came from within, more than without.

Doesn't matter bro, these stupid mormonHo's won't wait for you anyway. i went on a mission, she didn't wait, go married 6 months in. but i showed her, came back early--blamed it on her. (wasn't her fault though, realized the church was a joke.) forget mormon girls, they are boring.

I was chopped liver at Ricks because I wasn't preparing for a mission or a RM.

Lethbridge Reprobate Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was chopped liver at Ricks because I wasn't
> preparing for a mission or a RM.


Yes I know your pain.

Escaping from Wrexburg and getting back to Alberta and beer swilling cussing women was my salvation.

Maybe thats what I need to do I'm in Pocatello right now and I'm surrounded by mormons.

I wonder if my beautiful mormon girl was one that ignored you at Rexburg. I wasn't RM material or mormon.

She met her RM 70-72, got married in 72, didn't finish her degree.

Sad part, her birthday is the same as my daughter's.

I got the cold shoulder from nearly every girl. The others gave me the slightly-lower-than-room-temperature shoulder.

I never had a date in high school. I ended up actually waiting for a missionary. It was a strange relationship. Good friends for a long time and then he told me he loved me. It was nice to finally say I had dated. He was definitely not good looking. I was coming out of my shell in terms of looks.

I went to work at "Thiokol" while he was on his mission. He was really obnoxious to me and we ended up breaking up and P.S. I couldn't believe how obnoxious the other missionaries were to me when it was my "boyfriend" who created the situation.

I never really dated another mormon until I was 25 and I started dating my gay husband. One of the guys who "hung around" at my apartment all the time told others that my ex had beat him to me. I knew this other guy for 2 years before that. So a gay guy moves faster to win a mormon woman than a straight guY?? I could write a book of my experiences with mormon guys. Always friends, never a girlfriend. And they'd always come to me for advice on girls.

But I could date any nonmormon i wanted to. I could NEVER figure it out. Even the bishop of the singles ward said I was too attractive to not be married yet and that he couldn't figure it out.

I got over several disappointments and MY MARRIAGE failing. Oh hell. The nonmormons I dated were all much more attractive than any mormon guy I wanted to date.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2017 12:05AM by cl2.

Mormon girls - I was given the cold shoulder because I was from the poor side of town (literally). After high school I started hanging out with the really rich kids and dated several beauties. No joke - I went out with the first runner up Miss Texas World. I dated a girl whose father invented the monorail (the one at Disneyland). Several girls dad's where famous doctor's. What I learned was everyone assumes beautiful women have lots of dates. Plain looking women get asked out a lot more. Ever notice how a beautiful woman will marry a nerd?

Often the difference between a beauty and a plain Jane is how much money is available for her to spend on hair, clothes, makeup and of course shoes. It takes a lot of time for a woman to look like a million dollars and it takes a lot of money to buy all of that.

I learned a lot from the rich kids. I learned a lot from how their dad's made money. I learned the worth of woman is not in her clothes and makeup but by who she really is.

If I can jump to a few conclusions, Adam, I see a number of factors combining negatively and putting you in a bad funk. All this is purely speculative, but perhaps some of these are applicable.

1) You're coming out of a high-conformity cult, which means you're going through a major life adjustment. There are lots of threads on this, and if you keep reading them, you'll figure out more and more what applies to you. Advice: time and distance from LDS will heel you, but you can/should take pro-active efforts of your own. Lots of suggestions on what to do on this board. Venting is fine, but don't be a passive whiner.

2) You're a young man with normal hormones. Make yourself get out there, take risks, and ask (NON-LDS!!) girls out. You'll have missteps and get turned down, sure, but every guy does. Read AmyJo's post, above, carefully. Advice: there are lots of girls just wishing a nice-but-not-perfect guy like you would ask them out, wondering (like you!) "What's wrong with me?" Answer: "NOTHING!!"

3) This is complicated, and deep: because of LDS culture, you have, unfortunately, bought into a certain "trophy wife" idea of womanhood. Search the threads, lots of discussion on the LDS "trophy wife." As posters above have pointed out, they ARE attractive, but they also tend to be superficial. This attractive image of fair, slender, well-mannered, perfectly attired and groomed female is hard to shake, because it was held up to you as an ideal during your formative hormone-intense years, and now it's been neurologically burned into your brain.

There is no easy remedy for this, except to make friends with more realistic girls and date them. It may take a bit of conscious, mental discipline to focus on a real sweetheart instead of the trophy-wife type, but it will be worth it.

Like a lot of life's lessons, Adam, this may take time and a combination of good and bad personal experiences. Last thought: don't let self-pity trip you up. Good luck!

I think you are spot on especially the trophy wife mentality.

Never heard of such.

Life is natural. That is the nature of life. Is it the path of least resistance or her simply going after what she wants? You do it too-right? If you feel slighted from that experience, or any other, that's just something you've got to work out. That was a choice one person made a long time ago and had less to do with you than to do with her, and that other fellow.

A woman asks, "anybody else have a beautiful man go after another woman?" It's not my fault or problem if a gal likes me and I go for a different one. See what I'm getting at? We pick up the pieces and go on.

Breathe, in the moment... you are only going forward (life isn't like an automobile) and you can't back up.

Good call I keep wanting to back up to the past and do things differently but I can't but in the end I'm on a different path that will never go back to the Mormon lifestyle which they all want in the end so none of the relationships would have worked out anyways.

I certainly had a crush on more than a few knockout Mormon girls that wouldn't give me the time day. Looking back though, I'm pretty damn glad that it didn't work out with any of them. And it works both ways. There were girls that I rejected that later on I wished I had given them a chance. Just part of being young. Don't dwell on it too much.

Looking back, I realize that I never really stood a chance with those types. Our family didn't come from money, my dad certainly wasn't stake president material, I joined the army after my mission rather than going to school because I didn't have mommy and daddy paying for me. I also wasn't exactly a real smooth operator back then either. I just didn't fit the profile of what most of those girls were looking for.

For what it's worth, the RM stamp isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Believe me, the girl who says she'll only date/marry an RM will change her mind really fucking quick if a guy is tall, chiseled, and *especially* if he has money. (Think of Steve Young - how many girls at BYU do you think would have turned him down because he wasn't an RM?) And there's a lot guys that did serve missions that were super nice guys but kinda chubby, maybe balding, and not the most socially adept. Even with the RM tag, they weren't exactly killing it on the dating scene.

The church does a really good job at getting guys to believe that they have to serve a mission to get the girl, but it ain't true. If a girl is really in to you, or isn't in to you, your RM status ain't gonna matter that much one way or the other. And of course, as an exmo, your status as an RM is completely irrelevant.

I'm really glad that I didn't end up with some Mormon princess. The truth is, if I had, I'm not sure that I ever would have had the courage to honestly look into the church and see that it is all false. I could have turned into one of those poor soulless creatures who became church broke.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2017 04:49AM by Strength in the Loins.

I know exactly what you mean turning a blind eye from the fraud of the church to stay with the girl, I thought about that too it just wouldn't be worth it, i could not pull it off I'd rather be lonely and walk the road I'm going right now I will find someone eventually.

Are you kidding? At BYU, it's hard for a male to even get a date unless he's been to the temple and wear garments.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2017 09:02AM by cludgie.

I agree with c12 in that the cold shoulder swings both directions. I know that there were/are a lot of mormon girls who have their noses in the air and practically no one is good enough for them, but like my husband says there are plenty of guys,especially the RM's, no matter whether they are ugly or good-looking, who think they are god's gift to women and the girls treat them like they really are something to compete for,and claw-scratch to get. I didn't date in high school and when I graduated, I went to the stupid church dances that were held once a week in downtown SLC. Many people had told me or my parents how pretty I was, but hardly anyone would ask me to dance and each week, I would say a prayer before the dance to please let me have fun and have someone ask me to dance. How pathetic is that?? I was so glad when I met my inactive Catholic husband because by that time I had developed a more open mind.

How many dances did I go home from heartbroken? I just couldn't figure out why God wasn't bringing me my one and only.

I'm now with the nonmormon I dated at age 21. I turned down his marriage proposal because he wasn't mormon. My parents even thought I should marry him. A lot of the mormon guys we worked with thought I should marry him. One of the mormon guys we both worked with got us back together 12 years ago.

He is the hottest guy I ever dated. If I was still on fb, I'd tell you to go look at his profile picture of when we first got back together. He gave me back my dignity after my gay/straight marriage.

Yep, many return missionaries think they are God's gift to women.

Everybody gets rejected. Not sure why it's gender specific or why it would be more painful or common for men than for women. I've seen women cry for weeks over rejection from an attractive guy. It's just part of life, and it sucks, but we move on and eventually hopefully find the right one.

Another thought, Adam: Don't feed the fantasy.

They're appealing, image-wise: beautiful, runner's body, very tasteful clothing, domestic and dependent. (In spite of feminist advances, I think there's a secret spot in men's souls that finds a woman's needing them to be very appealing--especially men conditioned by LDS.)

First, a slight digression: Although most people affirm and endorse pornography, people can become addicted to it, so that it interferes with their lives and relationships. Such people find it wise to block off sites and take other measures to clear it out of their lives. I'm not saying that you're in such a state, but if you have an excessive interest in the "ideal Mormon girl," then it makes sense to curtail your exposure and involvement with them. Do you avoid dating because LDS girls are out of reach, and non-LDS girls "don't measure up" to your fantasy ideals? Then I might be right.

Now don't get silly, on one hand, or dismissive, on the other. I'm suggesting that you avoid being connected with LDS girls, however appealing or "open-minded" they might appear to be. You see them out in public? It's tempting to take a second or third look, try not to, even if lots of guys say, "No harm in looking!" In an LDS community, it might be tempting to look at the models in the Sunday advertising pages--don't.

What I'm suggesting, Adam, is that, while you want to feed your dating & mating interests with healthy and realistic "girl goals,", you also want to starve out what is, for you, unhealthy. That means reducing the titillating visual images and mental concepts of the fantasy LDS sweetheart/trophy wife.

Beautiful Mormon girls used to set me up just to knock me down. They would pretend to like me, say they "loved" me, then would say they never loved me, and laugh about it. It's called "Pulling the Rug". Mormon girls do this to men like me, so they can punish the men who "used" them. I got punished for the sins of other men.

Hmmm I don't know if I got the rug pulled but it felt like it I was definitely messed with like they knew I wasn't a RM or part of the mormon club so they thought they could play games with me.

But I think you are right caffiend I have to starve this fantasy and not dwell on these images.

I sure "used to" have luck at the (cow) Palace - and all around 'happy valley', and the Salt Lake valley, and everywhere - with beautiful mormons, 'normons', 'formons', 'Jack&Jill-mormons', you name it.

I don't care if it was the cold shoulder, warm shoulder, neck, it didn't matter. That wasn't what I was going for. I just didn't want to get the cold boob, or heart. Well, that wouldn't have mattered anyway, really. Now it's the mind... and the beauty of the body, still.

Just watch what you chase. Make sure you catch it... or chase something else, maybe slower moving chicks. Maybe non-mormons.

End of humor section. In a sense...

Never got the cold shoulder from a beautiful mormon girl.
But, I sure got treated like shit by tons of mormon males. You notice I don't refer to them as men. That would be an insult to the non mormon men.

The absolute worst men i've ever met have all been mormons. Users, abusers, insulters, thieves, and all around no good. This goes for my TBM brothers, Uncles, Cousins, Nephews, and my father and grandfather. All rotten to the core when it comes to their relationships with women.

The mormon church should be embarrassed about their shity treatment of women.

the master said:

"Often the difference between a beauty and a plain Jane is how much money is available for her to spend on hair, clothes, makeup and of course shoes. It takes a lot of time for a woman to look like a million dollars and it takes a lot of money to buy all of that."


Nah, couldn't have been your chauvinist attitude?

That is the nature of dating dear. Sometimes, you just get put in the friend zone.

Not fun, and I have been put there myself...and I have put others in that spot as well. Why? Because sometimes what you want doesn't click with what is right in front of you.

When I was young and one of those "Beautiful Mormon Girls" (I was a fairly standard Molly Mormon after all) I turned down lots of guys. Some Standard Peter Priesthoods turned me down for various reasons too. It hurt my young ego at the time.

But, I also was indoctrinated to have the "ideal" future mate in mind, completed with that Return Missionary, Temple Bound and Family focuses persona. I was a convert at 19 and had NO CLUE that I was often rejected by "Born in the Church" boys for this reason alone. One was honest with me and doubted I was "pure" (ie virginal) and I realize that was the most important thing on his list. I didn't debate him. I let him go despite the fact that I was indeed pure..LOL.

The hard cold fact about being young is that we grow up with these ideas of the kind of person we SHOULD end up with. As we get older, mature, and gain our own sense of self...we figure out who we are and hopefully meet all sorts of people where we sort out what WE want ideally in relationships.

The best part about be old now is that I know who I am and I know who I want. The VERY best part of being old now is I wont be in a relationship just for the sake of being IN a relationship. I know what I have to offer and what IM open to. Life will still be good with or without "Mr Right".

Don't take rejection/the cold shoulder too hard. There will be lots of it...its part of growing.

RMM

A very good looking person is like the low-hanging fruit on a tree. The looks draw you in and can make you overlook character flaws that you might not tolerate in any other potential partner. OTOH a person with an attractive personality can come to be more physically appealing once you get to know them.

I would get to know and date a wide variety of women. A TBM woman is going to come with certain expectations and baggage that would be impossible to deal with in the long run as a non-believer.

You are probably right it would be hell for me in the long run I would be pretending to be a believer just to be with a beautiful woman how shallow and sad is that.

You will find that a mormon-born woman won't want to marry a non-mormon-born male. Converts are accepted into the Church as kind of like Second Class member-citizens- the leaders and members want them to find another mormon convert or convert someone and marry them. There is some truth to the assertion that the mormon-born have some special extra good birth-karma. Their physical traits will often be superior- straight teeth, for example. Whosoever does not have straight teeth will most probably not have a perfect physical body generally. Converts may come from a bad or mediocre marriage, perhaps more likely. Well-Born means you had two good parents who made a good decision to marry; who conceived easily and naturally. There have been suicides of mormon male converts. Also, past life differences between the mormon-born and others exist. Although I say the religion is completely bogus, for some reason there is on an individual scale some good Fortune here, in some ways,

The most likely detriment in mormon birth is probably that a male or both parents have the belief that they should produce as many children as possible- which belief probably stems from the occult, deceptive, or fallen angel agency at the foundation of the church religion itself; which consists in believing that the more children you have, the more likely you'll get to heaven. Small disservice to children can be done in this way. So, you have the first category of births, one to three children- mode comparable to Organic grade food- the Second, perhaps five or more children, comparable to Natural food- interestingly, there can be a slight animosity or inaffability between such different types of offspring- for love even.
Selective Breeding, Selective Citizenry- these would be attributes of a Higher Quality civilization; but the great debacle of Naziism for one thing has increased the level of fear regarding such ideas...

I was the cold shoulder Mormon convert girl, Sorry TBM, Karma is a bitch!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEm0t5Wc11U

Indeed

That sounds cocky, but that isn't my intent, and I certainly didn't mean anyone harm at the time, but to hear stories like this over and over and lets be honest, sex sells right?

I'm glad I have stories that I can share that prove you get what you give.

That video is pretty much me..

Loud
Crude to an extent
Lack the ability to keep mouth shut
and love my home state

can you see me married to a TMB Mormon from Utah? Nope Nope Nope!!

I apologize to no one, as crass as all this is, it saved me from a lot of pain

"Why does that shit stick with you more than the church's bullshit and fraud."

For one thing you need to clean up your language. Unless you know one who talks like that too.

No I dont I said what I meant to clean up would be a lie

Look at it this way - in the end, maybe you lucked out! There's nothing worse than a contentious, adversarial marriage with a fanatical tbm, alt-right nut-job!

Conversely, I'll bet there are many tbm mormon girls who are now kicking themselves today for their flawed initial RM companion choice that looked so right at the time! Trying to live someone else's version of your life is typically an invitation to a disaster! After dating mormon returned missionaries as she was counseled early on to do at byu, my cutie decided on her own to abandon the idea because most were a turn off!

As a result of her decision, my byu sweetheart tapped me on my shoulder one night at an off campus gathering of students/asked an irrelevant question while she stood in front of me until I asked her to dance! Good for her/me! We've been together now for over 50 years! Not bad for two apostates who are suppose to be heavy drinkers, addicted smokers, drug addicts, an unfaithful wife in her case, a womanizer in my case/ general, unproductive nuisances in life! We don't suffer from any of these problems/live happy, productive lives free from the vile mormon CULT! Sounds like the so-called church got it all wrong as usual! As Always, tnurg (GRUNT)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/18/2017 08:35PM by tnurg.