I was thinking today about business relationships that I have had, and finally ended over the years, and about how there was always one last thing that drove me over the edge. It was not always the most significant factor. It was the last remaining factor that told me the business in question did not care about me or what was important to me.

For many years I subscribed to my community's newspaper. I strongly believed in supporting community newspapers. I continued subscribing even though the news reports became increasingly repetitive and boring. I continued even when the cost of a subscription started to go through the roof, especially in comparison to my stagnating salary. I continued even when the newspaper decreased the size of the print and made the paper challenging to read. A private email to the editor about this resulted in a response that essentially was, "It works for me, so too bad and so sad for you."

But what finally drove me over the edge was a small thing. The paper used to carry a weekly TV guide magazine. I loved it. Yes, you can get the same information on the web, but I liked having it printed out and in front of me. The guide was customized to our area. I liked highlighting or circling my favorite shows. Even when the paper started charging extra for the TV guide, I continued subscribing. When the paper discontinued carrying the TV guide altogether, that was the last reason I needed for cancelling my subscription.

Verizon has now given me my last reason for remaining their internet customer. Over the years, I've put up with slow, DSL internet service. I've put up with their unnecessary billing issues, and slow processing time for payments. But now, they are taking away their server-based email. Yes, it's a small thing. But it's important to me. It was my last reason for staying their customer.

What was your last reason for leaving the Mormon church? It may not have been your most important reason, but it was the one that finally told you that the church's interests and your interests were no longer aligned.

There was no one reason to leave. It was simply the final realization that there was zero reason to stay or believe it to be at all real.

It was just a lie. So I walked out.

My 17-year-old son was called on a mission without my knowledge or approval. As I was, technically, the priesthood holder in my home, I was supposed to be consulted by the bishop. I've always had an open door policy with the Morg leadership--you are my neighbors, you are welcome in my home.

Well, I was never informed or consulted and he was called before he turned 18 or even graduated from high school. I was told two days before he got his call that there would be a party with about 25 people.

Calmly (to my surprise) I told Mrs. Boner what she did was deceitful and unethical. I told her that I wouldn't make a scene, and would love and support my son, but I was resigning from the church. My letters were mailed the next day.

Postscript--eventually, I bumped into the bishop--I was pleasant. He asked me if he had offended me. I said no. I explain the deceit with the mission call. He looked very serious and said he thought I knew about everything. I told him what he thought was wrong. I extended an invitation to visit any time as my neighbor (he lives two houses down the street). He's never taken me up on the offer. His loss, I'm a pretty decent man in my real life.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/11/2017 11:53AM by BYU Boner.

Boner that sounds really awful.

I dont have kids I couldn't imagine being told of something so monumental in my minor child's life.
Good luck to your son.

Oh and I would have taken you up on your offer!

I was doing the Pathway thing but when it came time to sign the honor code I just stopped going. I had read the honor code and I knew it was trash, I couldn't put my name there.

At this point I had also just stopped paying my tithing, which I see as a critical point since I had been a frequent tither since the age of 6

Edit: sorry this went to the wrong spot



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/11/2017 02:34PM by nonsequiter.

I'm sure you are a good man in the real world Boner i always pictured you would be when I was just a lurker on this site reading posts.

nonsequiter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh and I would have taken you up on your offer!

Damn straight! ... well, you know what I mean :)

OMG, Boner! Good for you for maintaining your composure after being treated deceitfully and unethically. I would take you up on the offer, my friend. -edz

Nothing the church did really bothered me. I just decided it wasn't offering anything I really wanted, and TSCC is about chasing after those things, so I started doing research.

The MormonCult stepped in attempting to take over our rights as parents because we were temple-married-unworthy-inactives in their eyes. This was my last reason for leaving the cult.

I am sorry to this day that we did not have the wherewithall to have sued their sorry asses as they deserved it. We were parents who cared, who were involved with our children's lives, etc., but to the cult we were evil because we had broken our so-called covenants.

The turmoil and heartache that this caused in our child's life took years to rectify by us.....the cult skipped town fast when they were shit-deep in a teen problem they could not solve by their praying and fasting.

I didn't keep a chronological log with graphs of my several reasons, but my main two were growing disbelief and concern for my mental health.

Regarding disbelief, I didn't study my way out. It's just that all the regular old stuff I was taught and was teaching started to sound more and more like baloney.

As far as my mental health, I couldn't take any more of feeling unworthy (though I had nothing to feel unworthy about) and constantly under suspicion. I couldn't take any more of the LDS mindset and the fixation on being tested/judged and preparing for the next life while discounting this one.

Complete disinterest in following a bunch of stupid rules.

I found a list of cult characteristics on the internet and thought it fitted Mormonism well, so I ordered the book to find out more. To my surprise, the author didn't mention Mormonism at all. He was completely unbiased against Mormonism yet there it was.

I have extensively sourced his list here:

http://www.mormonism101.com/2015/03/cult-characteristics-hugo-stamm.html

This was the final straw that made take action and resign. Before that, the first vision and the BoA had already rocked my world but not yet enough to act on it (part of me was scared, too).

Once I verified, from people like Grant Palmer LDS historian, that the Book of Mormon has NOTHING to do with actual historical events in the Americas or anywhere else, I went from hurt to anger to wanting revenge anger. I hate the 15 because they are liars who stand up in front of good hearted people and testify to a LIE!
They know it is all a fraud. If anyone of them happens to read this post, remember you will be held accountable for the frauds you tell to people, over and over and over.

I no longer found it satisfying. The morg had nothing to offer. I'd been mulling things over for some time and had become inactive. As a single woman in my early 40s, I didn't have much to offer the morg, besides a tithing check. I was bored of the women in Relief Society, because they only parroted their husbands.
One night, I was getting ready for work. I tend to live in my head, and think about lots of things. This particular night, I thought, "What if I endure to the end? What's my reward? To be a man's 385th wife? I don't share toothbrushes or douchebags. Why would I ever share a man?" And that was it.

With that thought, I knew it was false, I was done, and I was so relieved.

Other Susan

Ultimatimately the endowment I couldn't fool myself into doing or believing in that nonsense.

After 20 years of a TM, my then wife ended our marriage for no real reason, and when I saw her for who she really was, I stepped out of the box and looked at all the significant tbms in my life and realized that there was something really wrong with those people. The so-called one true church produced a lot of heartless people, and that it was a cult.

But I still thought it was the true church doctrinally. But I was out regardless. Then with some research, I realized it was doctrinally fraudulent.

I now believe that the 15 old guys know it's a fraud, but they are living on the gravytrain of money, power, control, fame, admiration.. They promote a 1950's culture, so they somehow rationalize the fraud in their minds. It's a cult and culture of 15 extremely old white men. The ends justify the means, in their minds.

Can you say false doctrine ?
I knew you could.

Yes I can, I can also say weird shit in the temple haha.

I held on for a year and a half, after reading the essays on lds.org, and a lot of research. I couldn't let go of my "testimony." I had felt it so strongly, and thought I could not deny it.

Then I saw the youtube video of people from many religions, including FLDS, bearing testimony exactly the way we do, with prayer, tears, and feeling. Then I knew that I was hanging on for nothing. A feeling does not equal truth, although we were taught it does. When I learned how that works, I let go.

Love your username. Could not agree more (unless you are a kid and don't want to get whacked for stealing the candy).

:)

I saw no reason to officially resign. I'd already left physically. I didn't care if I resigned or not.

Until Prop 8. I decided that they were a hateful organization which cared nothing about the agency that they professed to believe in. There they were, legally trying to block the agency of others, even if they did not even belong to their little corporation.

I did not want my name associated with them at that point and it pushed me over the edge to go for an official divorce from the organization.

Proposition 8 was it for me too. I did not believe the church was true at that point, but Proposition 8 made me realize that the church was not only untrue but just downright evil. That began my political and "anti-Mormon" activism which continues today.

For me, the last straw that pushed me to resign was getting an invitation to a single adult dance before the divorce from my abusive TBM ex-husband was final. I realized that if I didn't resign, more invitations would arrive. I was prepared to use legal action if necessary, but the threat was enough for them to respect the resignation, and even the missionaries living down the street know to avoid knocking on the door.

The core to my reason for leaving, after putting up with a number of outrageous behaviors put downs, strange experiences, cultural oddities, was the fact that no matter what happened, how good or how ridiculous the people were, the reason for the church was not valid. Joseph Smith Jr could not be believed.

I could excuse and forgive stupidity,rotten treatment, religious fanatics, but when it became clear there was no reason to believe in claims that were only, metaphysical, visionary, and imaginary, it was time to say: goodbye.

I could no longer believe by faith as there were: No golden plates, no translations, the BOM was fiction about imaginary people, places and things.

For me, it wasn't the little things. Those were irritants, emotionally and physically draining, but they were generally the result of their traditional beliefs and just ordinary human nature. The biggie? It was the fact that the core beliefs were based on faith based, metaphysical claims that were totally unsubstantiated.

Once that really sunk in, it struck my funny bone and I found myself giggling, then laughing and jumping up off my chair and shouting; YES, YES, YES! I knew there was something wrong with this picture!

I don't think my husband ever understood my reasons as he had made conclusions on his own that he could not dismiss. His beliefs were hermetically sealed in some part of his brain and could not respond to facts. Faith based beliefs ruled supreme.

He is deceased. I've been a widow for over four years now. I like to think that there is some consciousness that survives the earthly body and within that is some recognition that there is a difference between faith based beliefs and factual evidence. It's a firm hope!

As a result of a new understanding of faith based beliefs, I've determined that none of them are needed in my life anymore. I've concluded that any and all deities are the creation of mankind's fertile imagination (as are the mythologies of the Greeks and Romans, for instance), and exist where they were created.

My understanding of cultural and tradition belief systems leads me to accept them as necessary for their individual groups/tribes, etc. and serve a purpose.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/11/2017 02:40PM by SusieQ#1.

I finally decided it wasn't true when I was browsing the my favorite social site, and someone posted something that was along the lines of "If god were real, he wouldn't just pick 15 million of his favorite souls who pray to him to save. He would treat everyone with love". That, in addition to some scientific discrepencies (for example, how could someone move and entire mountain, even if they are god, if no energy can be created or destroyed in the universe), is what made me leave.

In spite of trying for years, including through a mission and a temple marriage, I could never bring myself to believe. I became increasingly miserable every time I attended any church function, but continued to do so in order to "support the family." One Sunday, my wife said to me, "you're miserable, so why do you keep going?" I didn't go that day, and haven't been back since. Had I known that she would rather I be happy than Mormon, I'd have quit going much, much sooner.

Grew tired, so mentally tired of it...just stopped going because it just made no theological, historical or doctrinal sense. Have not missed it.

Gatorman
9-4
24-8
11-4

Hey, gator! I hear you, dude. Have a great evening. -edz

I realized I'm the boss.

Once I took back the authority, the whole Mormon house of cards collapsed.

Damn right

Mine was just the big picture. There were always a lot of red flags but like most Mormons I made excuses for the church. A big step out was discovering that the Egyptian papyri translation was not inspired. The longer I stayed out of the church, the more I realized just what a complete farce it had been. Now it's so easy to see the forest from the trees.

Just not being able to fake it at meetings. I hate meetings.

The incredible amount of lies of the profits while demanding absolute honesty in all things from the members.

I woke up under a bench and the lights were all off. No lies were flying, so felt it was time to go home.

http://uk.businessinsider.com/how-to-tell-someones-lying-by-watching-their-face-2016-1/#rapid-blinking-2

People showing up unannounced at our door (visiting teacher, elders quorum president, missionaries, home teachers and bishops 2nd councelor with is daughter). My husband was a scout master and they tried everything to get him back.

Honestly? I couldn't stand the boring monotony of it all anymore.

Crap I posted mine in a different thread!! :(

it was that my best friend's daughter was getting married. Every time something would happen to mess up the wedding plans, her daughter would say, "The church is still true, so what does it matter."

I thought about that for days. I was out walking at the track and I realized, "It mattered to me." That was it. I even came home and wrote it down in the journal.

What was the point of belonging to an organization if they never valued you as a member?

After suffering a tragedy, I made the mistake of expecting some type of support (financial, social or emotional). I received NOTHING!

It was meticulously explained at great length that there were so many more members that were worse off than my desperate situation (I became homeless when the house burned down). It was explained that I needed to stop relying on the church. After all, that is what families are for. I never went back.

I later learned that the following Sunday after my tragedy, the entire ward rushed to help a member's father (non-member) when his home caught on fire. Hell, they even dismissed their SM early to help out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/12/2017 07:00AM by messygoop.

That's really awful, Messygoop. Where I live, the Red Cross takes charge of finding shelter for those put out of their homes by fire. The community then pitches in to provide clothing, bedding, school supplies, etc.

Nothing about Mormonism per se. The concept of eternal judgment and idea of (or need for) a savior pushed me away from all religion.

That is easy.

The CoJCoLDS is false.

HH =)

Last straw was listening to a lesson I knew was full of lies.

Something just clicked in my head and I was done.

I was just tired of listening to lies piled upon lies to prop up a false belief system.

Mine were cumulative. There was no one single reason. Although there was the proverbial straw that finally broke the camel's back, when the cult started meddling in my family life to separate my daughter's loyalty and betrayed my trust in the cult at a time in my life I erroneously believed our being there would be helpful in cultivating stronger family ties, not weakening them.

Once I realized how deceitful they were on that level, going behind my back while lying to my face, we were oughta there once and for all.

The level of dishonesty went all the way to the bishopric. I will never forgive what they did, because it was destructive and evil, and done with malice aforethought.

I went to my son's baptism interview and the bishop made him promise to attend church every Sunday for the rest of his life. Even my kid knew that was impossible. Many things had built up to that but it was definitely the last straw. Not "do you believe in Jesus?" but "will you attend SM forever and ever?"

FAIR writings and my correspondence with FAIR members caused everything to change for me.

I don't know which person gave the talkm but he said that victims of sexual abuse need to recognise their part in it and go through the repentance process.

I decided that in no way could the church be true. I'd never let my children or grandchildren go near it.

Add the annual bishop interviews and the church is the largest perpetrator of abuse I am aware of.

I started doing pagan rituals. The more I connected with nature, energy, and my real self (underneath the indoctrination), the happier, freer, and more balanced I became.
I tried to keep attending church for a while after that, but it didn't go well. I just couldn't put up with the toxic teachings, fake "friendships," gossip, backstabbing, and exhausting lifestyle anymore. When I moved to a different city, I didn't let anyone know I'd been a Mormon. It felt so wonderful to be free that I couldn't face walking back into a mental or physical prison ever again.

After assessing as much circumstantial evidence as available, I determined that Joseph made it all up.

My quest then turned to learning where Joseph got all the doctrines he taught. That led to:

- Emanuel Swedenborg and the doctrine of Three Heavens:

http://www.swedenborg.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/swedenborg_foundation_heaven_and_hell.pdf

- Alexander Neibaur, Kabbalah and the doctrine of Co-Eternality with God, and other supposedly unique LDS Doctrines. See Lance Owens' award winning article "Joseph Smith and Kabbalah: The Occult Connection":

http://gnosis.org/jskabb1.htm

- The Masons and the LDS Temple rites:

http://www.mormonthink.com/temple.htm

- Thomas Alexander and his essay on the "fix" of Joseph's incoherent Trinity Doctrine and the formulation of Modern-day LDS Trinity Doctrine, resulting from a scholarly debate in the early 1900s between Talmadge and Widtsoe, moderated by Joseph F. Smith:

https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/pdf/115-6-15-29.pdf

- Sidney Rigdon and Alexander Campbell... don't even get me started...

The list goes on and on and on...Every rock that I have looked under illuminates "the rest of the story" and as contrary to what LDS HQ pushes as the "Official LDS Version of Things".

Joseph cobbled together a set of doctrines from contemporary ideas and other peoples' philosophies that he came in contact with and placed it under the guise of Mormon Doctrine, which he then brilliantly designated as the repository of All Truth, thus allowing for future modification and amalgamation.

I now believe that Joseph Smith never had a truly original thought. With this recognition, I chose to jettison all things LDS and embark on my own tailor-made journey and quest for Truth.

Neo-Galileo



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2017 08:29AM by neogalileo.

Thanks for this!

Actually a HUGE eye opening moment for me was the GBH interview with Larry King when he was asked if he was a prophet if God. Now for two years I was told to boldly tell everyone I met that there was a true prophet alive today who was speaking for God, just like Moses and Peter of old. I did so faithfully for two years. And, yet, what was this prophet's response to Larry King's question when he had an audience of millions? It was, "Well, I'm sustained as such." WTF!!!!

Great call. I distinctly remember some 10 years after the 1998 LarryKing-GBH interview listening to a podcast about it. I had been too busy magnifying my calling and raising a Mormon family at the time in 1998 to bother with little inconsistencies and things "supposedly" taken out of context.

When GBH finished his "I don't know that we teach that...", regarding "As God is, Man once was...", I literally yelled out in my car, "Just tell me what we believe!" After all, this doctrine was the entire paradigm upon which I had based my life.

I had an epiphany moment right then, when, almost as from outside of myself, I realized that I believed what others told me to believe. It was at that moment that I determined to find out, for myself, what I believed. It was a "James 1:5 moment" to be sure.

From there I began to dissect and document Joseph and his Mormon Doctrines. The LDS Cookie surely began to crumble from there on...

And, in the end, however, it was not God who enlightened me...rather it was myself and my assessment of the evidence.

Neo-Galileo



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2017 09:30AM by neogalileo.

Yes GBH interview with Larry King also got me thinking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lsBFlcjE-8

I'm probably one of the few that the end began with being "offended" with all of the rotten things that happened to my family, and ending when I found out the truth and finally let my shelf break with the stacked up things like the GBH interview, Hoffman and the discernment-deficit GA's.

The last thing for me was the demand that we believe everything. That belief mattered above all. Actions matter far more than belief. When I saw people profess belief in one way and then act another it bothered me. The more the church said just believe the less valuable the whole business became. I actually liked the stupid rules, the repetitive nature of things, the goof outfits, etc. All of that stuff, insane as it was, helped me belong in a very obvious way to the community. I still miss it. But I don't miss the demands that I believe having coffee makes baby jesus cry.