Cause I talked to a few this weekend face to face and they seemed pretty robotic and repeated the same church things that they did in the past but I have PTSD and am recovering from foot surgery also, so I don't know, I want to to think that I've come farther since I walked away 8 months ago but has anybody else compared themselves after being out for a while and if so how did it go?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2017 06:37PM by badassadam.

Progress is something only you can measure in how far you've come.

We're each works in progress, so it's really unique to the individual IMO.

I didn't stop trying to nurture my spirituality after leaving LDS behind. I may be a bit recalcitrant and don't jump into anything headfirst. Like I won't join another church or religion per se. But it doesn't stop me from exploring or still needing a spiritual center of gravity for my life.

It is different being on the outside looking in as a non-Mormon. It makes me shake my head and wonder how I managed to be one for as long as I was? It's such a mindset and one I was pretty much born into, it was pre-determined that's what I would be. Until I made the conscious choice not to be a Mormon. Which was very liberating in some respects. And frightening in others. It put more responsibility on me directly instead of on the church. Instead of looking outward for my affirmation, I turned inward. It was life affirming in a good way.

I realize I'm just as moral as I was as a TBM. Without all the baggage that went with it. The integrity that was instilled in me from an early age is still a part of who I am. That didn't change. But then Mormons didn't invent morality or integrity.

I had some wonderful teachers growing up. For that I'm thankful. It was the schmucks who convinced me that all is not well in Zion. And they were right!

badassadam Wrote:
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> [Be]cause I talked to a few this weekend, face to face, and they seemed pretty robotic and repeated the, same church things that they did in the past, but I have PTSD and am recovering from foot surgery also, so I don't know[.] I want to think that I've come further since I walked away 8 months ago but has anybody else compared themselves after being out for a while... and if so, how did it go?

How messed up are you that you are comparing yourself to 'repeating robots'? It's hard to compare - you've "come further" than repeating yourself, boring conversation, comparing yourself to what?

It's hard to follow. It must be the leader, or realist, in me, causing me to need to make sense of posts to present a very useful answer. Must better understand the question. Don't know who is more messed up without more specifics, and only presented with generalities. What makes you think you are more messed up than these...

I don't know in a conversation do I feel more genuine or do I feel like I'm an emotionless robot with programmed phrases. The Mormons I talked to usually say the same phrases no matter how much time has passed since I last saw them, hence they are programmed to an extent. I feel I'm pretty well deprogrammed of most things so most of my responses are pretty genuine I think in most conversations.

Sorry you have PTSD. I have battled with that all my life, but have been able to achieve my goals, and be a good mother, and be happy. Never give up with that. The abusers who gave you PTSD are the messed up ones, not you. You can recover. Get therapy, preferable a non-Mormon cognitive behavioral therapist.

Yes, I agree it would be more useful to compare who you are now with the old TBM you, and measure how far YOU have progressed, as an individual.

Some think it is unwise to compare yourself to others. Especially, if you are depressed or are down on yourself, you can always find someone who is better than you are. If you like to boost your own ego by disparaging others, then you can compare yourself to ones less fortunate.

I do believe that when you are out of the cult, you see others more clearly, against the background of the world in general. What I mean is, that Mormons can stand out in their own community, and anoint each other with holy "authority", and become revered stake presidents, apostles, and whatnot--but out in the real, broader perspective of the world, they seem to be robotic, arrogant and full of hate.

I've seen Mormons treat each other like dirt, and get away with it, but in the business world, that kind of rudeness doesn't fly. Like the ordinary little boy declared that the Emperor had no clothes, the average citizen sees Mormons as having no Truth.

I can tell you this: You are less messed up now, than when you were a TBM.

Thats what I thought and thats what I was trying to compare if I was less messed up now than I used to be. I am seeing a pretty decent non-Mormon therapist right now that seems to know what she's doing so I kind of have hope. The abuser is messed up but they don't see themselves as messed up that's the really messed up part of it all and it pisses me off to this day they have never saught professional help they think they are just fine in the sight of the lord they have done no wrong and it just pisses me off.