I can't be around them anymore.

Entire family and many neighbors are mormon but I've developed a feeling of "second-classedness" when I'm around any mormons and have been avoiding them, including my family as a result.

It's causing a few issues.

My husband thinks there is something wrong with me.

He may be right.

I'm with you. Everyone should enjoy where they live. Time to get out of dodge.

I'm in the same boat

Most the time I was attending their church, I was treated as second class, or even third. Most of the "lower" jobs are attended to by being called to the position. They call it volunteering. A few times I "volunteered" only to be later told that I was not qualified, a.k.a. not worthy. I'm not endowed so I am lower class. I was not married in the temple, therefore, lower class. I got divorced: lower class!

Now they don't even talk to me unless it is to reactivate me. That means they almost never talk to me.

Edit to fix bad grammar.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2017 10:16AM by Now a Gentile.

The problem is that they don't think they see people as second class.

In fact, I would bet most mormons wouldn't agree with the statement that non-believers won't go to heaven with their family.

and

I bet almost none of them know that the Books of Moses and Abraham that contain the "families are forever" doctrine are considered to be objectively fiction.

I doubt most have actually read the book of Abraham.

I feel similar when I'm at family functions. I just don't fit really. So even though I live right here where my large extended family is headquartered I don't plan on going to the family reunions this summer (10 miles away). Last time I went to a family reunion at the church all my cousins paired up with their smaller families and I sat visibly separated at a large church table. I guess I should have just cosyed up to some young family but kids are extremely self centered and don't usually like sitting by some strange older guy in his 30s and they will move away, ...it's awkward. Utah has a really nasty mean high and mighty culture at times, with their whole families are forever bull-shit. Probably one of the worst places in the country for anyone not born perfect?

But whenever I was, I felt the way you do. I think you're reacting normally. They look down on you and you feel it.

Likewise, I'm surrounded by Mormons. However, I've managed to turn that to my advantage; I'm far more comfortable now than when I was active.

I think that's because, for most of my life, I've been more comfortable as an outlier rather than as a joiner. I've rarely felt part of any groups of which I was a member, and usually never lasted long in any of them.

I like being separate. I like being different. I like being the odd person some folks don't know how to talk to.

I find it very liberating. I can say and do stuff without many of the inhibitions that restrict others. My creativity has been freed--even in things as simple as how I dress I can f--- with convention. Some of my favorite people are young enough to be my grandchildren; we like to swap stories about our tattoos.

Mormons hug as close as possible to the median line. We outliers are floating around out here on the periphery like satellites exploring outer space.

My wife is TBM--garment-wearing, coffee-eschewing. I think being on opposite behavioral poles adds a lot of sexual tension to our relationship. We tease each other about our spiritual differences, then at some point she'll ask, coyly, "Are you mad?" That's code for, "Let's go to bed!"

When I think of my time as a Mormon vs. now, Dylan's line comes to mind: "Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."