It occurred to me today, that if I had not been a member of the church, had not lived and removed myself from it due to things learnt then I could well be joining should the missionaries 'find' me.

This is a time when I am 'looking' for something. Empty nester, family issues and uncertainty. The church would give me the answers and hope and comfort. BUT only on the surface. An untruth is an untruth even if you wish it were not and so many times I have wished it was all true. Its not. Never going to be.

It can be sad,lonely and yet liberating to depend on yourself. No quick fix.

If one is a perma-investigator, inquisitive, skeptic, well researched, and even LOOKS on the internet [at lds OR truth sites], and/ or attends a few Mormonite (dis)services/ baptisms/ activities, etc., they may do well to be skeptical/ knowledgeable/ wise, and choose otherwise.

It's true though... if you didn't already have/ know the truth, you may (accidentally) join....... and THEN learn the truth.

It's never too late to leave though, as long as you are still alive - and kicking, and screaming!

P.S. spellcheck is a pain in the ASSbergers-yndrome. That's all.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2017 05:23PM by readwrite.

Yes, it's the idealized Mormon church that we would like to have in our lives, to replace the cult we left. But it's only whistles and bells and a slick Madison Avenue sales pitch. The Truth is not there. God and Christ are not there. For me, there are no friends there, either. They are shunning me, and that adds to the loneliness.

I agree that there's no quick fix, but the sadness is something we can do something about.

I'm happier than I've ever been. I had a great day today, until I went into the local grocery store, and went in the door, just as a Mormon former friend was coming out. We made brief eye contact, and I smiled and said, "Hello". She quickly looked away, and kept a frozen smile on her face, and proceeded out the door, as though I wasn't there. We used to be in the Primary together. My TBM daughter is still friends with her TBM daughters. These girls used to play together at my house. Now, I don't exist. I'm invisible. I'm dead. Or, does she wish I were dead? Does she wish me to be in outer darkness? Why wonder at all--she is brainwashed.

I turned my thoughts around, and realized that this woman was not what she appeared to be. Her smile was fake and frozen, and her eyes were blank. I remembered her and her family's actions in the past, and realized that I'm happier not having this person in my life.

But for the last few hours, this has made me sad. My only option is to keep avoiding that grocery store, which is full of snarky ward members.