I feel like I might be a little behind on this one, but did anyone else see the two articles in the New Era about children being victims when a parent looks at pornography?

https://www.lds.org/new-era/2017/02/pornographys-innocent-victims?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/new-era/2017/02/anguish-for-my-father?lang=eng

The first one has a list of how a child should act if they find out a parent looks at pornography. It seems kind of weird, like it was originally intended for something else (like a real addiction), but they reappropriated it. There's a line in there about how the child should set boundaries with that parent (which sounds like just the sort of thing kids do). Perhaps the creepiest bit of the article though is the paragraph at the end that counsels you to rat out your friends and siblings if they look at pornography (because you "love" them).

The second one is a story that doesn't sound made up at all about a girl who found out her dad looked at porn (and also never learned how to delete his Internet browser history) and how even though she felt like a victim, she learned that her dad wasn't such a bad guy. She's such a Molly Mormon that she says that as a teenager she didn't get along with her dad, not because she is a normal teenager, but because she was such a victim of his pornography usage.

"You are not in control of your parent’s pornography use, so don’t burden yourself with feelings of responsibility, shame, or guilt," it says. Is this something kids would really think? Dad's looking at porn! It's all my fault? If it were some other "sin" (say your dad secretly had coffee now and then), would they feel like "victims"? What about if a family member leaves the church? Are you a victim because your kids or siblings don't want to be members of the church any more? When I was on a mission, and an investigator didn't want to join the church, did that make me a victim? Just because somebody does something you don't like, it doesn't make you a victim.

My problem with these stories is that they're creating a narrative of victimization, but there just isn't one there. Youth who read this are more likely to feel like they're victims if you keep telling them they are, and that will just make it all the harder for them to recognize real victims of non-culturally-constructed problems. Mormons don't need another reason to feel like they're the biggest victims in the world.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2017 12:16PM by focidave.

At the very bottom, it says copyright Intellectual Reserve. An oxymoron if there ever was one.

Haven't you ever felt guilty about a parent eating fried bologna or eggs with ketchup? Maybe I was a victim of egg ketchuping and I didn't even know it. I'm glad I have the New Era to give me new things to ponder.

"At the very bottom, it says copyright Intellectual Reserve"

They're holding their intellect in reserve.....

It was really weird when I found out my dad had a porn problem cause he yelled at me a few times as a teen for it, but all the while he was the one with a big problem and I believe the internet history my brother in law found on the computer was wrongfully blamed on me because come to find out later it wasn't your normal porn, my dad looked at gay porn how's that for a shocker.

when I was growing up my dad caught me looking at gay porn and then almost got blamed for it by my mom who found it later.

That is ridiculous! My parents porn usage or sex lives are non of my business, Im just grateful they had me, and that they're still together 29 years later!
My parents are nevermos by the way but I don't see how porn affects kids, unless they're forced to watch it, which they aren't.

Wow! It really sounds as if the Mormons are going all out to make pornography the new Evil Enemy. Having gotten yelled at so much over their inept handling of their hatred for homosexuals, it appears that they have had to concentrate on a different boogeyman for at least a while.

Look, folks! Here's a terrible monster! We must slay the terrible monster! We must always, Always, ALWAYS be on the lookout for this monster! This monster will destroy all that is good! Look for the monster! (And, please, pretty please, just ignore all of the problems within the church....) Oh! Look over there! There's the Monster! Look quick! Oh, what a terrible monster!

That's a damn good point they did try to deter from the real monster almost constantly growing up, oh look a new enemy look what satans doing but dont look at us with the actual pentagrams on the temple and creepy blood oaths in the temple or anything else we are doing secretly just give us your money and shut up.

Let's not forget to "follow the money" on this one. The whole porn narrative in Mormonism is a slightly cloaked bid to get people to fear the Internet and limit its use. The true bogeyman here is the Internet; porn is just a red herring.

Just to throw a slightly different angle on it--maybe porn isn't as big a red herring as we joke about it; because of the tight control on sexuality, maybe mormon guys (mostly) really *do* go overboard with it. OTOH, we know that looking boobies on a woman not wearing a bra is supposed to be a major sin in mormonism.

"By necessity practical and by philosophy stern, these folk [New England Puritans] were not beautiful in their sins. Erring as all mortals must, they were forced by their rigid code to seek concealment above all else; so that they came to use less and less taste in what they concealed."

H.P Lovecraft, "The Picture in the House" (1920)

smoke and mirrors

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk

Just think of all the wasted brothers and sister they could have had because daddy is playing with himself out in the battlefield of porn.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ueuz0-Rnd5c

These are all so obviously fake.

Yep, kids are victims if dad looks at porn, but not if mom divorces him over it, right? Tearing the family apart not nearly as traumatic as the knowledge that dad looked at a nipple or something.

I continue to ask why there is no shame or disciplinary action for the women in our family who dumped their husbands for supposedly making too little money to support their fantasy lifestyle. Yep, its all about the family and children.

I don't know, why wasn't there disciplinary action for the guy in my ward molesting kids or the other one cheating on his wife with the RS president?

I caught my TBM dad looking at porn once when I came home from university early for the weekend. Far from "victimized," I actually felt relieved and happy about it. My mom freaks out over even the mildest sex scenes in TV shows and movies so I highly doubt that they've had a sex life since my birth at least, and I've always felt kind of bad for my dad. It's good to know that he's taking care of himself.

Is that weird?

Nah, it's good that he is.

I wonder sometimes if people freak out because it turns them on, especially women who are taught they have to be the keepers of modesty. I know that I would ramp up the Molly Mormon whenever I was feeling sexual, in order to hide the 'sinfulness.'