Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: Gheco ( )
Date: February 13, 2017 11:42PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: liesarenotuseful ( )
Date: February 13, 2017 11:43PM

No. Religion is not necessarily an abuse. Physical punishment, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, neglect can all occur with or without religion.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: February 13, 2017 11:56PM

Neglect perhaps. Mentally and Spiritually. It's definitely not a considerate, polite, or thoughtful way to raise one.

M@t

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: scmd ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 01:00AM

I'd like to say no because I personally didn't feel all that abused, but I'm questioning my answer. Just because something is illogical and hard for a rational person to swallow doesn't make exposing it to one's child a clear-cut case of abuse. But then we've seen practices within the church that could be called abuse, such as Bednar's manhandling of that little boy.

Probably the closest thing to systemic abuse is the interview system with minors, some as young as twelve, whereby they're questioned behind closed doors about masturbation and sexual practices. Perhaps that IS abusive.

I was only asked about masturbation once, and I lied. It was easy for me. My brother had warned me in advance that someone might ask me that so I was mentally prepared to lie.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Tall Man, Short Hair ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 01:21AM

Loaded question framed another way:

Do I think some government bureaucrat should be able to criminalize my parenting or remove my children from my home based solely upon their understanding of my faith in the absence of any actual evidence of abuse?

Hell no.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: kvothe ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 10:27PM

^^this.

I loved my childhood. Growing up LDS can be awesome. It's the adulthood part that gets sketchy.

Totally understand that for some it's not a good time at all. Just speaking for myself.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: thingsithink ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 11:52PM

Doesn't that beg the question?

Is it abuse? If it is, then that would be actual evidence of abuse.

But it doesn't mean it has to be criminalized. There are many forms of abuse that aren't criminal.

Is filling your child's mind full of lies, threats, and fear abuse?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Tall Man, Short Hair ( )
Date: February 17, 2017 04:10PM

It's just overly broad and could be used as a tool of abuse in the application.

Simply having a family regularly pass through the doors of a Mormon chapel proves absolutely nothing. You have no idea of what is going on outside the chapel and the exact nature of the treatment/teaching a child is receiving either in the church or at home. It's developing something like a crime of association. That's just wrong.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 05:06AM

Where is the line? There's no way to pinpoint it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 06:55AM

I don't recall growing up LDS as having been mentally abusive.

It was dysfunctional however, and based on cult dogma. At the time it didn't seem wrong or strange, in the Morridor. It was the norm.

Mormons blended in well to their environment, many were thriving and outwardly at least appeared to have their act together at home, church and work.

Nowadays it seems to have become far more controlling and dogmatic than I recall from my youth. When I left it was in large part to protect my children from being raised inside a cult.

Wish my parents had been so inclined. Our family was quite dysfunctional. The church provided some stability we otherwise may not have known. The irony is it likely contributed to the instability of my parents. We were none the wiser.

My TBM siblings who have stayed in, I believe have done so out of a great deal of insecurity. They blame my TR holding parents divorce on a lack of faithfulness to gospel doctrine. So my siblings became more dumbed down by the church to shelter themselves in their marriages and family life by being zealots instead.

Their marriages remain intact, but they've given their souls to a cult to do that. The church for them has been a surrogate parent and a source of security we didn't have in our home life.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Atari ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 12:17PM

Absolutely. I was a gay kid being raised Mormon. It took a real toll on my well being.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: liesarenotuseful ( )
Date: February 17, 2017 02:48PM

Atari, in your case, I agree with you. The church is harmful to gay children (any lgbtq, etc.). I don't know what should be done about it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: readwrite ( )
Date: February 18, 2017 03:37PM

liesarenotuseful Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Atari, in your case, I agree with you. The church
> is harmful to gay children (any lgbtq, etc.). I
> don't know what should be done about it.

They should just leave them alone. I mean... Not treat them any different. Not punish them for being who they are. Of course, being a Mormonite is punishment in itself.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: readwrite ( )
Date: February 18, 2017 03:38PM

Wrong place.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2017 03:41PM by readwrite.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: presleynfactsrock ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 04:43PM

To me, raising a child to be a devoted TBM in Mormonism is abusive. I believe that children deserve to be raised in an atmosphere that seeks truth and reason where critical thinking is taught and practiced.

Questioning needs to be encouraged with children always taught that no question is inappropriate and all questions are worthy of answers.

The MormonCult's position on child raising stifles, discourages, and punishes thinking.

The Cult has all the answers and tells you what questions are appropriate to ask. It is their way or the Highway of Excommunication.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Anonish ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 05:33PM

I was TBM, lots of higher callings. When told by bishop I had my priorities wrong by putting family before church, I assured him he had his wrong. For me it was always family, work, church. So I would say it depends. I think the abusive TBM priesthood holders use it as an excuse. I think they would be abusive without the religion.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: desertman ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 07:58PM

fOR ANONISH
I agree with you on priorities

Mine are:

Me first

Family second

Country third

Religion fourth.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Heretic 2 ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 10:00PM

Yes. Forcing a child to join any religion before they are 18 is a form of abuse. Religions are made of lies, and teaching children that lies are true is a bad thing.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Tall Man, Short Hair ( )
Date: February 15, 2017 12:54AM

Heretic 2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes. Forcing a child to join any religion before
> they are 18 is a form of abuse. Religions are
> made of lies, and teaching children that lies are
> true is a bad thing.


Add to that all the forced vegetables, naps, doctor's visits and education, and it's clear parenting is just another form of fascism. Children should be allowed to raise themselves how they see fit. We need the government to step in and stop idiots from teaching anything but the acceptable things to our children.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Heretic 2 ( )
Date: February 17, 2017 02:39PM

There is scientific evidence that vegetables, naps, doctor visits, and secular education are beneficial for children. But there is no evidence that brainwashing children to believe in false religions is beneficial.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 10:25PM

I think you know my opinion.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Breeze ( )
Date: February 18, 2017 09:04PM

I'm with Don Bagley.

Physical abuse is more clear-cut than mental and emotional abuse, and the priesthood leaders hit, kicked and shoved my sons. At a church campout, the bishop's son put his hands on my little girl. Mormons abuse, and get away with it. One primary teacher would punish a disobedient child by physically spanking the child, and forcing him/her to sit on his lap for the remainder of the class. I think pioneer trek might qualify as physical abuse.

I think forcing a child to believe lies is mental abuse. Mormons force children to memorize, sing, and chant the lies.

The Mormon threats traumatized me and my children. We would not be a "forever family" and would wander around alone in the hereafter, passing each other as strangers. Little children are taught in Primary, that if they don't obey, they will burn in the Second Coming. (Tithing is called "Burn Insurance" by some Mormons. Isn't that cute?) Emotional abuse.

Perhaps we will someday realize that raising a child without unconditional love can be crippling. I was never perfect enough, or obedient enough, or useful enough to deserve to be alive. What a depressing way to live!

The Mormon cult is definitely mental, emotional, and often physically abusive! (Even without the dysfunctional Mormon parenting as a factor)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: badassadam ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 10:28PM

Its abuse take it from me, putting tons of crazy ideas into a childs mind that will never leave him is abuse.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Cornflakereject ( )
Date: February 14, 2017 11:58PM

Yes absolutely. Sexual psychological abuse. (I.e., BP asking "Do you masterbate").

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: kativicky ( )
Date: February 17, 2017 03:20PM

If raising a child in Mormonism were to be considered mentally abusive, you would also have to say raising a child under the influence of any religion or the lack there off as mentally abusive as well.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: quatermass2 ( )
Date: February 17, 2017 06:04PM

Yes!

Because you are indoctrinated NEVER to question and ALWAYS to submit to leaders.

"When we think for ourselves, Satan wins a great victory"

"If a church leader tells you to do something, even if you think it is wrong, you MUST do it"

Oh, you may not hear those things uttered aloud these days in a chapel ... but believe me, go back to pre-Internet days and you would find them universally propagated and agreed upon!

Poisoning a child's mind by pre-loading it with such concepts - backed up by fear of dire eternal punishments - is happening right now.

And it IS child abuse!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2017 06:05PM by quatermass2.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: thingsithink ( )
Date: February 17, 2017 06:33PM

If it was not abusive would there still be 5 million active Mormons?

If it was not abusive, would mormons refuse to read anti-Mormon material?

If it was not abusive, would mormons reject the mountains of evidence proving that Mormonism is built on false claims?

If it was not abusive, would millions of mormons be afraid to turn to their spouse and say I'm not sure I believe this nonsense?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: readwrite ( )
Date: February 18, 2017 03:42PM

What do you think OPie?

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In


Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Subject: 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 **     **  **     **  **     **  ********  **        
 ***   ***  **     **  **     **  **        **    **  
 **** ****  **     **  **     **  **        **    **  
 ** *** **  **     **  *********  ******    **    **  
 **     **  **     **  **     **  **        ********* 
 **     **  **     **  **     **  **              **  
 **     **   *******   **     **  **              **