My Mother is a very active mormon woman in her 60s. She's always been very active and growing up we were "that" family.

You know the one.

We had to wear church clothes all day on Sunday. No pg movies. Expected to be a smiling example of mormonism to all around.

I spoke to her about my disaffection and she told me that she:

Doesn't really care, nor has she every cared about whether the book of mormon or book of abraham are fiction. She's never read either book on her own or paid that much attention when we read together on the historical aspects of either.

She doesn't care that Joseph Smith married teens and chalked it up to high sex drive and mistake.

Doesn't believe that temple attendance and thus tithing are required to go to the celestial kingdom. Doesn't care really if there are "kingdoms".

Doesn't believe that polygamy will exist in heaven and if it does won't participate.

Doesn't believe that Joseph Smith saw angels with flaming swords.

My mother has been a relief society president several times, young woman's president twice, stake young women's president, married to stake president for several years. She made us read scriptures every morning before early morning seminary. Never miss a meeting. Etc. etc.

I have a suspicion that most active LDS don't really care about any of the details.

You're right about that. Most don't care about the details. They think it's *the best* way to live your life. Now that's a very scary thought, isn't it?

Ironically, there is no "reality in TBM thought."

What Exmoron said is key, IMO.

Because TBM "thought" is in fact reality-challenged, it opens the door for all kinds of interpretation, revisionism, version updates, and hence the faithful don't feel obliged to go along with each and every last detail. Garbage in, garbage out.

It's no wonder there have been and continue to be various Mormon splinter groups throughout the years. If you don't like the dogma, just be patient: somebody will make something up you can buy into.

Contrast this with, say, basic arithmetic. People are pretty much cool with the idea that 3 + 3 = 6. There's not a lot of disagreement...when it comes to reality.

This description fits most of my family of origin.
My parents are in their 90's and have always been die hard mormons. My grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins, all are mormon. I'm pretty sure they've never read the Bible, D&C, BoM, or PoGP. They don't really care what they say, so why read them?

Same with some of the siblings and their spouses. I've known plenty of mormons like this, and you're right. They're usually the ones with all the top callings. They may quote scriptures in the lessons books, but that's about it. They only use scripture to make some self righteous points. They carry that bag of books with them every Sunday though. Why? Because some old guy they've never met in SLC once told them to.

They will be mormon until the day they die. They don't have any idea why I would be any different than them. I've always been the reader in the family. My mother used to punish me for reading too much. She actually took books away from me. I'm sure they'd be disgusted if I gave them anything to read about the mormon corporation. They would know it was all a lie before they even read the first paragraph. You know, those bad feelings they get just by being in the presence of evil/information.

They choose to be ignorant. There's not much you can do about that. Ignorance really is their bliss. They really believe that what they don't know won't hurt them. They are so wrong about that. It also hurts everyone around them. They don't care, just don't bother them about that.

Love this!

The Reality Of TBM Thought.

Naturam vacuuamque abhorrens.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/13/2017 08:22PM by anybody.

I think a lot of TBMs want to follow church as a whole, but when you break it up into it's constituent parts, most are just going through the motions. When someone asks who wants to say a prayer publicly, most would rather not. I know very few TBMs who enjoy scripture study (it's a running joke, isn't it, that they all give up in second Nephi). I've had very few home teachers who consistently wanted to visit each month (most of the time they never did). I know very few women who enjoy wearing garments (especially since it restricts how comfortably they can dress in the summer). If you give it to them in part, most of them wouldn't want to do it. If you give it as a whole though and say this is Mormonism, then they obey.

They (seem to) say they don't to avoid the conversation/ thought + they don't know what they believe/ it changes, according to what ldsays at the time. It's sad really. nobody can wake them up but the profit, which is unlikely because he too is asleep.

Your mom sounds a lot like mine.

TBM "thought" is merely alternative facts.

The obvious question:

What DOES she care about then?

Appearances?

Mormons participate because their society demands it.
They aren't honest with themselves.
It's all about preserving appearances.
Without the instasociety, they would have to fight for social structure.

It meets their social and emotional needs even though they know it doesn't make sense.

I knew someone at work whose first husband was an alcoholic and thus her Mormon husband is like a saint because he doesn't drink. Once Joseph Smith's wives came up in a casual conversation and she said something to the effect of "I don't have to believe everything in Mormonism to be one, right?" m'K.

There were other times she complained about the costs, paying both tithing and tuition for sending daughter to byu -- but I guess she figures she has to take the unpleasant with the good. Yeah tuition is expensive everywhere, but as an employee at a major research university she had access to discounts and scholarships her daughter could have used to get a solid education instead of an Mrs degree.

Ignoring facts is so much easier than dealing with them.

Mormonism works well for the ethically and morally challenged. Obedience equals cowardice. Obedience is a way around having the guts to do the heavy lifting mentally.

My elderly parents have shelves, but they cannot be broken because, well, when they put something on their shelf, it is "out of sight and out of mind," as they say. They have accepted the church is Heavenly Father's plan and the details just don't matter when that is your mindset.

Members used to say that everything that doesn't make sense will become crystal clear when Jesus comes. They would further cement their nuttiness with this quip, "And which side of the Lord do you want to be on?"

She's in it for the community, not for the actual beliefs. She reminds me of one of my TBM friends whom my wife and I talked to about the controversial Mormon issues when we were leaving the church 17-18 years ago. I told her about Joseph Smith's extra-marital affairs, and she responded "Oh, that's just men. Men do that sort of thing. I don't worry about things like that." It didn't cross her mind that Joseph Smith invented a "revelation from God" to justify his sexual promiscuity, or that polygamy was preached and practiced as a religious duty for half a century.

How would she like it if her husband did that to her?

randyj Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>I told her about
> Joseph Smith's extra-marital affairs, and she
> responded "Oh, that's just men. Men do that sort
> of thing. I don't worry about things like that."

So, she believes Joseph Smith was "just a man"? I thought prophets and great religious leaders were supposed to have higher ethical standards than the average person.