There's a girl I really enjoy hanging out with and we work together several hours a night almost every weeknight. I've only recently befriended her and a couple of weeks ago found out she was Mormon. I do live in southern Utah, so it's pretty safe to assume any given stranger is Mormon, but I didn't expect she was because she said she was born and grew up outside of Utah, occasionally swears or makes a dirty joke, and made a remark that she definitely didn't want to end up a housewife. She lives with her parents and is active in the church, and like me, is a freshman in college.
She asked how old I was, and putting two and two together, asked if I had served a mission. I replied that I had served in eastern Colorado, and then changed the subject of conversation. I wasn't happy that she most likely assumed I was an active Mormon. A couple of days later, after work, she mentioned that she goes to Institute and wants to go on a mission when she turns 19. Earlier this week, she asked me which ward I was in, at which point I explained that I don't go to church anymore, which she was quite perplexed about (since I apparently come across as an innocent TBM boy to strangers). We had a rather long conversation after work that night because she wanted to know what drove me out and how I could leave so soon after returning from a mission. When I explained a few of the historical, scientific, and philosophical reasons I lost my testimony, she didn't seem to attack them or get all defensive, which I somewhat expected she would. She asked me what I do on Sundays now and I sarcastically said I watch golf and NASCAR. When I explained that I spend a lot of time at the campus library on Sundays, she semi-jokingly remarked how I was "breaking the Sabbath," to which I rolled my eyes.
Last night however, she really came across as an ex-Mormon in the making. She said a lot of the time she feels like she only goes to church to please her parents and that there's a lot about Mormon culture (female-oriented modesty, homophobia, strict conformity to priesthood leaders who don't always know what they're doing, and the general prejudice and judgmental nature of many of her peers). She still wants to go on a mission but said she doesn't like the idea of conforming to every little ridiculous rule and losing her individuality (good luck with that, then). She then asked me if I wanted to study with her at the library next Sunday. I was pleasantly surprised that her invitation to hang out at Sunday didn't involve church.
Then, after we punched out of work she stripped down to just a tank-top/sports bra, showing her evil evil shoulders, and seemed completely comfortable around me (not something I'm used to growing up in a Taliban-run Cache Valley community).
She's a vibrant, funny, and free-thinking girl; I like her a lot and have a lot of hope for her. I have mixed feelings about her going on a mission though. My mission was the breaking point for me and I probably would have stayed in the church a lot longer if I hadn't gone. Hopefully she won't subscribe to all the propaganda her mission will give her; I'd hate to see her stripped of everything I like about her.

Enjoy your new friend.

She's on her way out. Continue to be friends

A few miles outside Preston, on the Idaho side.

You might consider sharing more of the realities of mission life with her. Knowledge is power.

It's nice that you have someone pleasant to share time with.

Indeed. It is a well known subject on RfM about missions being more for indoctrination of the missionary; while many *do* have stories of blowing off their mission pretty much and making a two-year travel odyssey of it (as much as they can get away with anyway).

The problem is the ones who start off on a little adventure just to please their family but become "church broke" during the mission.