For not doing their chores(bathroom, their laundry etc..) without getting into trouble with the law!?? Is there a way to get today's teenagers into doing their chores etc!???

My TBM parent's had us write sentences(like 500 or more) by hand and take away our TV, etc..But then this was the 1980's. Heck for swearing we got Cayenne pepper in our months!!

My older brothers and sisters ground their teens and take away car privileges if they're driving age, phones, and other electronic devices when necessary. It isn't necessary very often because the kids know things they want really will be taken from them, and they don't like being stuck at home because they're grounded.

The theory isn't that much different than it was when we were all kids. You find out what really gets to them and use it against them if necessary. If they know you'll follow through and stick to your guns, most of the time the kids will comply.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2017 02:09AM by scmd.

I got my mouth washed out with soap for cussing--obviously it didn't work! No offense, but cayenne pepper in the mouth is pretty brutal. And, soap can damage skin tissues.

I'm not big on punishment. Positive rewards, love, and after about age 3--discussion--work much better. Glad to have you around, Bro!

Don't they get a quite room or something thought I heard something like that I have no clue to be honest, I know they dont get beat like I did.

I used the threat of suspended computer & gaming access with my son. It was the harshest threat I needed.

Not quite "today"...but 20 years ago I cancelled the insurance on one of my trucks that my son was primary driver on as he'd neglected to save money for his 1/2 of the insurance (and he'd told me he was saving for it). Our farm is 8 miles from the city so it put a real crimp on his activities....and taught him a valuable life lesson.

I have found that taking away cell phones works pretty good.

If they're at home. Safety first: I wouldn't want a daughter out on a date, or commuting to part time work, or even working retail or part time anywhere without the ability to call 911, to call AAA or their dad for a flat tire or call trouble, to reach out to friends or family for help or when feeling ill health away from home. So safety first. Perhaps limit time with cell or tech, but always at minimum check a working mobile phone to them on the way out the door. Safety first

turn off the wifi

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
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> turn off the wifi

Yep. Circle by Disney lets me do that per device. So others do not have to suffer group punishment a la 1970.

I don't think the actual consequence is as important as the follow-through. Before you give a consequence, take some time to think it through first. Don't fly off the handle and tell them they are grounded for a year or something stupid like that. You won't follow through and they learn to just outlast you.

My adult children have told me that the scariest thing they ever heard was "I'm not sure what's going to happen next."

Something else that worked (when used rarely) when our kids were late elementary school/middle school age was asking them what they thought their punishment should be. They always surprised us. They were harsher than we would have been.

Cayenne pepper in mouth is abuse.

Phone privileges are what really works to get compliance.

Hide all the chargers for the electronic devices. My niece did that, her kids straightened up really fast.

My dad never hit me. But I got yelled at...and saw the look of disappointment in his eyes more than once due to my hell raising exploits...that hurt...so I tried to not go too far off the rails. At least he never had to bail me outta the slammer...but that was more good luck than good management on my part. I was grounded for 3 months once after getting shitfaced and totaling my VW when my insurance company pulled my coverage.

Punishment doesn't work with some kids, especially the ones who beat themselves up just fine. Reward does work, according to psychologists, but it's harder because you have pay attention and be creative.

I try to be very clear with expectations. My kids usually know beforehand what will happen if they don't follow through with something or break an important rule. For instance, when my teen kids started driving, they knew that the car and their license would be taken away for speeding tickets, reckless driving and the like. And they knew that I would follow through too.

I don't punish my kids often. I like to look for the things that my kids do well and give them lots of compliments and praise. I tell them they're great and how much I love them. When I need things done, my kids are usually eager to please and are pretty good at stepping up to help.

Just like everything else in life, you have to choose the battles that you have with your kids wisely. There are times when I let things slide to keep peace and maintain a good relationship with my kids.

Sometimes, especially when you have teens, bedrooms can get pretty messy. If it's been a few days since I've asked for rooms to be cleaned and nothing has been done, I tell them that I'd be happy to help them. I pull out a big garbage bag and that usually gets them moving.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2017 08:43PM by want2bx.

smack them! no wait... that's what happened 30 years ago. I got knuckled a few times by my grandfather, not fun!

The most important thing to do is explain to them why it's bad and don't stop until your sure they understand. Talk to your kids on a daily basis.

Make them go to church.

Some kids got "allowances" (but that wasn't allowed in our world; in fact, we never heard of it, except that some of our friends got it) [taken away]. OUCH!

We got "paddled", "switched", whipped, belted, smacked, whacked, spanked, kicked, yelled at, grounded, things trashed/ taken away, our 'mouths washed out with soap', etc., etc., etc.

Make them clean. Before they do anything else. Sit with them until they do it. Love them. Talk with them. They might run away but don't let them walk away. You can catch them walking. Good luck...

M@t

What I've seen is best is making sure it's clear what's expected of them, and make sure they need to know why they're doing it. You wouldn't want to just say "go do your homework or you're grounded!". They will be much more willing if you say something like "You need to do your homework because your grades will affect your college and career choices, and it's important". Explain why, not just what you'll do to them if they don't. If that doesn't work, well..

Find their currncy then set the consequence. One of mine ad daily chores and she did not do them for a month. At endvof the moth she asked for phone credit, I responded with surebut you need to catch up on a months worth of chores first. that month taught he a valuable lesson. Aother daughter's curency is drama club so the threat is no draa, my other daughter is sporty so that is her currency...

On a Sunday morning you make them endure a three-hour stretch of listening to Adele. Going to church will seem like a blessing. Sorted.