Long story short,
I'm almost completely blind (legally I'm blind but I prefer visually impaired), female, British by birth, speak Japanese and Korean, degree in IR, raised Church of England, spent twenties working in Japan.

Came back to the U.K. in 2013 and met my husband online. Korean-American airman, stationed in Okinawa.
Went to stay with him, moved in but no longer had working visa in Japan and Oki is like.. the sticks. Pretty but no jobs. 10 years behind the mainland.
I made friends with a Mormon lady down the road.
My husband struggles with anger issues and refuses to get help in case it endangers his security clearance so I spent more and more time soaking up the happy atmosphere in Mormon households. She was kind and motherly to me.
Hubby left Air Force to try contracting for the mil.
Moved to Korea, more alcohol, less Mormons in proximity and Korean drinking friends. Used the sister missionaries for general chat buddies but never studied with them.
Moved to Germany, in the middle of nowhere, living off post, I can't drive. I can't see these days to go out alone, and began relying on Mormo community for friendship and help. Hubby hates the Mormons and tells me not to go. They say he's restricting my freedom and they'll always pick me up for church if he won't take me. Hubby is an atheist. A die hard atheist.
I had so many doubts but put them aside. I let myself be pressured into baptism this December just gone.
Two days later I'm being told about how I'll have a calling, I should talk about how to tithe even though I don't have access to my husband's money etc. I have account I just get cash or ask him to buy me things online. I give him lists, he doesnthenshopping. That's just how we do it. I don't mind.

Anyone I'm making this longer than I planned..
A week after, alcohol, cigarettes accompanied a visit from my beloved dad and also he brought my kiddy book collection with him. Mum said now I'm married I can take my crap out of the attic.
I'm feeling guilty after they leave.
I tell the Mormon missionaries that I broke my baptismal covenant regarding the word of wisdom. I don't feel guilty to God. I literally believe he doesn't mind or I drink or smoke for merriment. I feel guilty to the LDS church. I did anyway. They tell me to report to church on Sunday to speak to the bishop and in the meantime read my BoM.
So I did.
BoM... prayed... felt nothing
reseaeched online about feeling nothing and came across ex Mormons and research following up the original doubts idnhad about JS and wether he was a fraudster or not. Bible contradictions etc. then the book of Abraham. I read about the scrolls, looked at the facsimiles... remembered my kiddy book collection and my beginners guide to Hieroglyphics and Egyptology... (I was a nerdy kid with a love of languages and history) I saw it myself!!! That's no murderer with a knife. That's Anubis with his head redrawn!!! Abraham?? I read the cartouche myself. Horus! And on he throne is Osiris! I knew that from school lessons at 12 years old. I mean how can you believe it to be anything else?? I felt lied to. If JS could bullshit about scrolls and his translation then the BoM was false too.
I realized so many more things.
People telling me how they loved me and we were "sisters" and "family" after only going to church three times etc
How fake!
I was lonely. Stupid. Not getting along with my husband. No kids. Alone. Isolated.

Now I want to resign. It's exactly one month since I got baptized.
I also remember now they caught me off guard asking for family information names and addresses before my baptism and the Elders came to my house with other church members. Three or four people. Every time. I could never argue against them so I uncomfortably let them have my parents names and info for their records.

So. My request for help.

I'm in Germany. I'm not German. Our ward is made up of military members.
I'm not a US citizen. Where or to whom do I send my resignation letter?
Also, if they demand to see me can I ask the military chaplain for help and protection from them?
If they excommunicate me, is that bad? will it harm my husband's military reputation? How can I get legal help against thenchurch harming my reputation if I'm not German, not American and not entitled for military legal representation as my husband is currently a contractor and not active duty (until his re-enlistment goes through this summer). I feel so alone.
If we move countries they'll find me again right? I just want to leave and be done with it all.

Sorry for typos by the way...
P.s
There are lots of Mormons in his workplace. If they're mad st him that I am leaving the church. He'll be mad at me too for causing problems. :-(



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 07:56PM by pickleweed.

I'm so sorry about all the spelling mistakes.
I had to write this on my iPhone and my MacBook is having a bad day. No matter how hard I squint at this screen I can't clearly read what I'm typing but I needed to get it out and tell someone my worries.

Ok. No need to fear. This is going to be ok.

All you need to do is to send an email stating you're resigning your membership.

The minute it is received you are free legally. It doesn't matter about any of the other details.

Follow this link and you will see who to send the email to:

http://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm

Thank you!

I thought I had to send a written letter and beg them not to harass me or tarnish my non member husband's reputation on post.

I just hope I can make non mo friends some how to lean on when hubby leaves for six months.
I know all the church members who "love me" won't love me at all when they hear I'm leaving.

Going to the military chaplain might be a good idea just to get you some back up. They might be able to hook you up with some services to get you by while your husband is gone.

You should realize that members leaving is not announced. There is no way for anyone at church to know you are leaving unless you announce it. The leadership does not want to advertise that a new baptism didn't "stick." You can literally slip out the back door quietly, submit your resignation and move on with your life.

I agree with this. Use the email. The process can take up to 60 days. Let us know if you need any additional help with that.

Can you find support among your fellow military spouses?

We are here for you. Post anytime. And welcome!

Just one quibble. The process does not take up to 60 days. The minute they receive your email you are legally out. It doesn't matter what follow on processes they'd like to carry out.

True that. But nevertheless, people do like to get the final letter.

So true. I know I did.

If they come knocking, tell them that they turned you into an atheist, and you'd like to return the favor. ;)

Tell them you've accepted the CES letter as your savior, and they can be saved, too, if they only open their hearts to it. ;)


They have no power over you, and you should not feel bad for getting sucked in by their love bombs. Whether believers are sincere in their beliefs or not, they have long training in the con.

Momos like to make it sound like baptism carves it in stone, but in reality, the only power they have over you is the power you grant. Un-grant it, thank them for their concern, but you prefer friends to come without price tags.

Welcome to RfM, visit anytime, no price tag.

And no apology necessary for typos. That's not a big deal here. But here's a tissue for that boogie hanging off the tip of your nose...:)

Oh you guys have made my evening! I've not slept for 34 hours now. Worrying about if God exists, am I awful for not wanting to be a Mormon after all the nice Christmas gifts I got at church on my baptism and the gluten free vegan cakes people made me and the Braille "congrats on your baptism and Merry Christmas!" Cards they made. I've been awake all this time reading ex mo stories. Researching. Reaffirming to myself that I'm right and they are wrong.
They were nice people. My hubbys ex commander is Mormon too and really cool. Theres an E7 marine lady who I really respected for being in her 40s and being able to do twenty pull ups in a minute. I'll be so disappointed if she chooses to not be my friend anymore. I think she will though. Her ancestors were BYs Beaty buddies and poured all their money into the church.

Oh well. Time for a glass of wine! Now I can continue writing my book about hostessing in Japan, which I was told to abandon because the Holy Spirit wants me to forget my sordid evening job tricking business men into buying hugely overpriced bottles of Yamazaki. Fun times....

I can't believe I let myself get baptized... what a prawn...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 09:04PM by pickleweed.

"I can't believe I let myself get baptized... what a prawn..."

That made me laugh out loud, especially in the context of writing about your experiences in Japan.

Good and decent people will want to be your friends regardless of your faith. The others need not be your concern. I hope that some of your new friendships continue, but don't be surprised if a number of your Mormon "friends" flee.

Believe me, if you can read a cartouche on your own, you are most definitely NOT stupid. You were simply taken advantage of, and used, at a vulnerable time by a pack of predatory cultists.

Now they've tricked you into becoming part of their ridiculous little club and are already trying their utmost to control you. Callings? You bet. Tithing? They don't care if you don't have your own money; they want some of it, ASAP!

And now they've ordered you to report to church to confess your sins to the bishop. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT. They have only as much power over you as you allow, so give them nothing. And please stop giving the missionaries details of your personal life. It's none of their damned business, and you are not in any way accountable to them.

It's entirely possible that some of the friction between you and your husband is due directly to you joining the church. Once you have exited the cult, that point of contention between the two of you will be gone.

After you have emailed your resignation, you are legally out, but the church won't admit that fact. They will send you a letter that it's an "ecclesiastical matter" between you and the bishop. That's just their own internal paperwork, and also one last-ditch attempt at control.

You DO NOT HAVE TO meet with the bishop or anyone else, despite what they say. You can tell them to f*** themselves and there's nothing they can do. They cannot legally excommunicate you after you have resigned.

If the bishop refuses to process the resignation that Central HQ has sent to him, and you haven't received the "OK, you're out" letter from Salt Lake after 60 days, you can call Member Records and they will light a fire under his sorry ass.

You may want to consider contacting your folks, letting them know what a mistake it was to join this farce of a religion. Warn them that the missionaries are coming, and to deal with them as the joke they are.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 09:23PM by Book of Mordor.

First, I would suggest that you try to relax, if that's possible. I have never been a Mormon, referred to as a "nevermo" here on this board. There a are several of us "nevermos" here.


I hope the information you receive here can help you do just
that....relax. You have quite a conundrum (a fitting screen name) but you will get through this with the help of the exmormons here. There are a wonderful bunch people on this board. Welcome, and don't worry about the typos;)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 09:25PM by cinda.

Cheers! And get some rest...!

You do not need to be sorry over spelling mistakes we are mostly adults here? Little kids worry about that stuff because the teacher tells them. Make spelling mistake who cares its message that is important. I would be happy if you laid some UK slang on us. OOO pipe down Mormon go suck a fag lol. Pretty neat that LDS convinced you that they had truth and they had the solutions. Jesus came to Jackson County Missouri LOL?

Yes LDS are fake people! Missionaries wave at cars like look at us look at good works we do. We are nice you can trust us. Can we paint your fence, do your yard work. Why lol because you want me feel sorry for you and let you trick me into joining your religion? Another thing you do not need share personal information with LDS because they will only use it against you. Say nothing of alcohol anything like that. Whole feelings thing is very culty! Make a decision on a feeling because they tell you to? Not how you find truth or there would be no need for courts and law. I would not give up on that LADY that is helping you though. What does Religion have to do with friendship? It should not! I want to met your BY girl who can do 40 pushups that is hot!



Edited 7 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 10:09PM by josephsmithseer.

Since your husband is a veteran, there may be services available for you from the military base.

Call the family services office. They may be anle to refer you to ride services or other services for help getting around, shopping etc.

No need to mention the mormons. In fact I'd advise against it.

Just state your husband is a veteran, now a contractor, and see what they can do.

No promises, overseas is a constantly changing enviroment.

Good luck.

I sent the resignation email!
Now I'm paranoid about every knock at the door! I nearly didn't answer to my lovely German neighbor armed with wine and chocolate for a lunch time German lesson!
Having a visual impairment means I can't sneaky peak from the bathroom window who's outside so I have to duck down, commando crawl to the door and listen; if I hear voices talking to one another in English, I'll know it's TSCC come to reclaim my soul and nurture me and fold me into their batter!! Like an egg, really.
I'm a human. Not an egg.
Giving the chaplain a call now about how to make new friends on post when I'm 40 minutes away.

Oh, I would just walk up to the door. If you wish, you don't need to open it. You can just talk to someone through a closed and locked door. Ask, "Who is calling?" As a woman, I would recommend this. Your safety comes first before anyone's need to intrude on your time. You can tell the missionaries that you resigned from the Mormon church and not to call upon you anymore. Or you can open the door and tell them. But you need not discuss it with them further, nor invite them in. Same for the bishop or anyone else who calls on you.

I'm in Germany, too.

knotheadusc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm in Germany, too.


oh wow, have you always lived here or are you here temporarily?

My husband is a contractor. Retired Army. ;). We are near Stuttgart.

A few of us here spent a great deal of time in military wards in Germany. I worked in Germany for 13 years, and attended mostly military wards, one international ward, and was a leader in a German stake. I just wanted to say that a Mormon ward is not a normal environment in the first place, and does not represent a cross-cut of normal life no matter where you are. In a military ward in Germany even less so. So you have been forced to deal with people that--at the very least--do not represent the normal, an--in a more negative sense--are even abnormal. So getting away from that environment will do you a lot of good.

I doubt that the Mormons will try to harm your reputation in any meaningful way. Blow them off. They are an irrelevant people. They are also an abnormal lot, and can really hurt you if you buy into their religion. Now all you have to do is avoid them. Whenever you meet them, just be cordial and friendly. And honest. They dissolve in the face of honesty.

As a citizen of the EU (for now), you would have all the privileges a German would have. One thing I found out about living in Germany is that most professional people are proficient in English, so if you need an attorney, it should be easy. If you are having actual marital problems, maybe it's time to go back to the UK where you would have a sort of social net.

We didn't find military "privileges" that useful. The commissary is cheaper, and carries lots of American stuff you possibly can't get. And if you're a poor enlisted person with lots of kids, there is a good argument to shop there. But we found that we preferred German supermarkets, even at the higher prices. We bought our clothes at C&A and H&R. Admittedly, you can fill up your car a lot more inexpensively among the Americans.

cludgie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> We didn't find military "privileges" that useful.
> The commissary is cheaper, and carries lots of
> American stuff you possibly can't get. And if
> you're a poor enlisted person with lots of kids,
> there is a good argument to shop there. But we
> found that we preferred German supermarkets, even
> at the higher prices. We bought our clothes at C&A
> and H&R. Admittedly, you can fill up your car a
> lot more inexpensively among the Americans.

I'm obsessed with our local german supermarket Edeka across the road from me. I recently went meat and dairy free for health reasons and they have so many fun options and ingredients, plus tomatoes in colours I've never seen before. It's fun! The supermarket is the nearest to a social centre I have in this tiny village. I know all the staff and go daily just for people to chat to in my bad German :-D as we have no kids, I only have to worry about feeding our fussy toy poodle who is 4, but will only eat Wolfsblud puppy food in duck flavour. Spoilt little bugger.

The commissary in our area often has spoiled dairy and produce. We buy our stuff in German stores.

Commissary produce overseas is notoriously bad, and they charge by the piece--so many cents per rotting apple, so many cents per head of wilted lettuce. And we just had to give up produce in Japan in the 1970s. Whether commissary or Japanese stores, we couldn't afford apples or lettuce. Rotting apples in the commissary were $0.92 each.

The Mormons will leave you alone after you resign.

That will get them off of your doorstep so you can breathe easier again.

A lot can happen in the space of only one month!

You've done well so far!

:)

Write the email and resign (name, birth date and address) and get on with how you want to live your life.

You learned a lot about religion and people, and now you know to be careful about trusting people.
You didn't do anything wrong. You're OK. It's Ok to change your mind!

Hang in there. You are taking your power back and owning it! Take it one day at a time, and those that are real friends will hang around. Otherwise, let it all go.

Best wishes to you!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2017 01:38AM by SusieQ#1.

"I'm in Germany. I'm not German. Our ward is made up of military members.
I'm not a US citizen. Where or to whom do I send my resignation letter?"

Send it to the Church office building in Salt Lake City. Your citizenship is irrelevant to your church membership.

"Also, if they demand to see me can I ask the military chaplain for help and protection from them?"

I'm not familiar with the roles and duties of a military chaplain, but you should be perfectly capable of telling them no, that you do not want to see them.

I would also consider finding some sort of military counselor who could help you with assertiveness.

"If they excommunicate me, is that bad?"

Not really. Outside of mormon circles, being excommed by the LDS church means precisely squat.

"will it harm my husband's military reputation?"

I can't imagine how it would.

"How can I get legal help against thenchurch harming my reputation if I'm not German, not American and not entitled for military legal representation as my husband is currently a contractor and not active duty (until his re-enlistment goes through this summer). I feel so alone."

The church won't actively harm your reputation. If anything, there might be a couple women who get a bit snipey behind your back, but you've only been a member for about a month. What reputation, exactly? Hardly anyone knows you -- I don't think you've had enough time to establish a reputation. You don't really need legal help on this one. (Unless you can prove slander or libel and that's not how the church works. It wouldn't do anything that would open itself up to a lawsuit so the worst you could expect would be some bitches gossiping behind your back. You probably won't even know about it.

"If we move countries they'll find me again right? I just want to leave and be done with it all."

So resign. If you move cities, they won't track you down if you've resigned. Keep your resignation letter on hand as well as the letter they will send you to confirm your resignation. If anyone DOES track you down (which is possible, but not likely, especially has you have not accepted a calling, paid tithing, or made yourself "valuable" to the church in any way), show 'em the letter stating that you are out and close the door.

Really darlin'. Get yourself some assertiveness training, do some self esteem work, and see about getting some support services so you don't feel so isolated and lonely so much. The church preys on people who are in your type of situation so do not allow yourself to feel badly or guilty about changing your mind on membership. They are the bad guys here, not you.

Thanks everyone!

I did email my resignation, but haven't got a confirmation of receipt email back.
In the meantime I have multiple missed calls on my phone from the missionaries and church members leaving me Facebook messages that I haven't even bothered to open and read.

Maybe I should send a paper resignation by traditional mail too?