Friends I hate to say this but this forum misses a very important detail in all of our exmormon lives. And that is....

We haven't lost the need to feel persecuted.

Boom. I said it. We were born with a persecution complex and taught behaviors to further concrete how we justify a desire to being hunted. A need to be right and for others to be wrong.

When we lost the faith we unwittingly held onto some very hardcore beliefs which manifest in our own weird ways.

Best to completely move on. Otherwise all we are, are exmormons, the opposite of Mormons and just as vehement and justified in nonsense. Look at it. Arguing all the mysteries of Mormonism
I.e. the truths that were hidden from us since the beginning. Believing the we, the exmormons are actually the ones who are correct (what a misnomer! A megaton fallacy!!!). The parallels continue over and over.

We fell off the bike that is Mormonism into a puddle and for some reason won't leave the puddle.

Now I've read a ton on this site and enjoyed some of it and some of it was very therapeutic. I was able to erase certain behaviors and world views by noticing the learned behaviors from looking at them from the other side, at a distance.

That being said, i won't ever change if I stay here and wallow in it. There are always going to be Mormons born and people who leave it. It'll screw people up and some will be happy with it. Am I going to study the historical accuracies and lies of the church with the same vigor I was trained to as a Mormon reading the bom?

No. All I will find over and over again is another way I was mistreated and lied to. It's a rabbit hole. Why spend my whole life in a state of disarray and discontent looking at every rock on my way down the exmormons rabbit hole.

I thank you all for your time and for your stories. I have no doubt that the mavens on this site will point out every detail they think is wrong in my post. I could say that but I'm not here to argue nor to apologize.

Next time you make a point here in this forum. Ask yourself honestly: is there an underlying Mormon born motive for me to make this point? I haven't seen yet on this forum anyone not use some degree of Mormon trained logic to further their pining.

The Methodism of Mormonism is rife here everywhere. And I think some things we are just gonna be stuck with no matter how many truths are dug up. Time to suck it up and move on probably. Sorry folks. Information gleaned here will not be help you feel better. It could help in the interim and that's great! But then it's time to move on. Why spend your life in this dank rabbit hole where people bitch and moan about everything in their life. Usually the only funny things on here are when old guy Boner talks about rubbing one out.

I'm not passing a collection plate and not asking anyone to join my new religion.

It's time to move on completely and leave this behind if you truly want to be yourself and be completely healed.

Peace



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2017 11:34PM by oooo.

Boom. Fail. Boom.

Says the addict

Just like a real mormon to accuse someone of being an addict. Who can't let their inner mormon go now?

If you want to go, just go, already.

I never heard of "accusing people of being addicts" as being an inherent Mormon trait.

However, making crap up off the top of your head to prove your point like you did - trademark Mormon behavior.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2017 11:43PM by oooo.

Then you know nothing of mormonism. It's probably their most distinguishing trait.

Insinuating what I know. Again a very Mormon way of thinking. You are proving my point over and over I love it.

There are plent of thing Mormons are known for over this weird addict accusatory behavior. Like one guy say, hey you heard of those Mormons? And the other guy says, yeah the guys that call everybody addicts? It's their most distinguishing trait! LOL

I guess we'll just have to suffer with you for three days while high school is out for the holiday.

But if you wanted to go, like you said, you can any time.

Cute calling me young. High school age huh? Yeah I guess I'm about seven years too old for you.

oooo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I never heard of "accusing people of being
> addicts" as being an inherent Mormon trait.

Tried alcohol since leaving the Church? "You're an alcoholic!"
Watch R-rated movies since leaving? "You're addicted to porn."

Accusing exmos of addiction is definitely a Mormon trait.

But the defining trait, notams much.

aaaah was thinking about joining assholes and causing trouble. Maybe be leader of LDS

Now that was awesome. Pay attention William this is how you insult..

Yeah, I hadn't thought of posting under another name with something seriously lame then coming on and claiming how clever it was. That's a serious insult to intelligence, I'll give you that.

The real insult to intelligence might just be your run-on sentence.

That's what she said (your 9th grade English teacher).

Yeah four years after you picked me up in your van

High five!

I, for one, thought your post was very insightful. I'm a nevermo but I can certainly understand your point and, even from my unindoctrinated point of view, I see examples on this board of exactly what you're talking about.

Definitely 'food for thought' and I hope your suggestion(s) are helpful to some of those leaving tscc :)

Cinda. Thank you. I have to say within my own mind I had to be honest and I came to this conclusion. Although what I posted isn't as coherent as much as my own experiences are I have found this to be golden true. This is my last weekend on this site. Might as well practice what I preach. Another similarity about this whole ordeal is how it was an impossibility of leaving the faith and how people here feel the same impossibility of leaving this site.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 12:20AM by oooo.

I say stay for little while to cause lots problems for CULT. Share truth with as many LDS as you can. This just in last couple days. KSl ran story leaked information on 120k year salaries of LDS Leaders. Go over fact the leaders lol want you send them your money to their controlled Religion coffers. Go over wives of this polygamist Religion LDS love that. wivesofjosephsmith.org Go over fact LDS religion sure looks and smells like CULT.

I've been out of the church completely for ten years. I'm talking about leaving this website. You only read the header lol



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 01:20AM by oooo.

Man up and stay in cult longer expose from with in.

I have been out of the church for ten years I am talking about this website. You only read the header lol



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 01:21AM by oooo.

I hang out here because it's fun and although we may disagree on some things, we basically love the truth and hate lies. Dissent is part of a healthy discussion. When the thinking has been done and nobody questions it, then it's time to worry.

The thinking is done. That was a good one from back in he day. Amen to dissent. can't have growth without change.

Pretty good thread going, oooo. I hope that difference of opinion never becomes taboo. It's pretty much my first complaint with the, um, COJCOLDS. And as long as people are free to talk about it, I want to join the conversation.

Amen to that. A difference of opinion is the cousin of taboo.

This place is not a puddle--it's a pool.
--A pool of some of the brightest and funniest people around.
I'm stayin'!
:)

There's funnier out there for sure

Kind, brilliant, funny people here. Anyone who says differently needs to keep reading.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 01:50PM by Dorothy.

Never said there wasn't.

First of all, leaving with a flounce is rather weird when we don't even know who you are. Just sayin'.

If you comb through the archives, you will see that many board members have come and gone over the years. This is a natural and normal part of board life. Some go, only to come back periodically when there is a new stressor in their lives (perhaps a visit to faraway relatives, or General Conference.) Others stay for long periods of time. After a while, one major motive is often to help others on their paths out of the Mormon church.

Good luck to you. If you've found some useful points of view here, great. But please do not put down those who choose to stay for whatever reason.

That you felt some sort of insult come from me only proves that we all have a need to feel persecuted that we inherited from being Mormon.

Flounce was an incorrect choice as I was neither angry or impatient.

Oh, I think flounce was a perfect word choice. There is an implied insult to board members in your original post. It is cleverly hidden, but it is there.

And I was never Mormon -- which you would know if you've been reading the board for any length of time. I've been here about a decade now, and I post frequently.

No there is no implied insult and it is not cleverly hidden. Implanting a sinister ulterior motive and complementing it by calling it clever is disgusting. I don't care if you are Mormon or not. Maybe their lingo has seeped into what you are. Monkey see monkey do and birds of a feather do flock together.

oooo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No there is no implied insult and it is not
> cleverly hidden. Implanting a sinister ulterior
> motive and complementing it by calling it clever
> is disgusting. I don't care if you are Mormon or
> not. Maybe their lingo has seeped into what you
> are. Monkey see monkey do and birds of a feather
> do flock together.


Oh, the hell there's not insult, and I spotted the fallacy and minimization immediately.

There is a fundamental difference between the feigned persecution used by religion, and the actual, life-altering persecution heaped upon apostates.

You are conflating the two, and it is secondary wounding. You are telling people, some of whom experienced losses of spouses, children, entire families, "friends," jobs, had to move far away, childhoods, hundreds of thousands of dollars, years - decades and lifetimes of free choice, two years of young adulthood furthering cult aims instead of their own to:

the fake fears implanted in them by an abusive cult.

You're telling them that the abuses and losses they suffered mean nothing; you're telling them that their pain and losses are as phony as the BoM, that there is nothing "real" to their losses, and that they should "just get over it." It's a wounding and tactic often employed against victims of rape.

You are the phony. You are an apologist. You have never experienced the pain of being an apostate. That's why you come on an a nube, telling others how they "ought" to feel, and what they "ought" to do.

You are an insult to yourself, to attempt such idiocy here. Apologists are a waste of brain - I won't be arguing or defending my points with you - you are a non-entity. I felt the need to clarify your bullshit for others.

Take your "boom" and see if it fits where the sun don't shine.

Couldn't agree more. My entire childhood plus adulthood until 42--no biggie, I'll just never think about it again. You said it so much better than I would have.

Wrong place



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 02:05PM by Dorothy.

There is a benefit to wallowing in the mire with fellow sojourners on the same road to somewhere. It reminds us we aren't alone.

Leaving Mormonism can feel overwhelming for newbies who are leaving, and terribly isolating. Most other denominations don't know what ex-Mormons go through as in the entire gauntlet of grief stages, or struggles with identity after a lifetime living a lie.

Sounds like you've moved on, so good for you.

Being judgmental on other hand, is a very Mormony thing to do. The net you cast for others has snagged you by the toe!

;)

Not being judgmental. And I agree this site can have tremendous merit; I initially said so.

You calling me judgemental is, in its very nature, you being judgemental. Lol

I didn't cast a net for others and insinuating that I'm trying to trap anyone is a perversion of what I originally said which was to set people free. Again, like I said, the mavens of this site may try to pick apart what I posted.

A bit of a sleepless night so this is a short response... This site was never intended to a be a long term stay for folks. We do really appreciate those who hang out here to help others. This site would not work without them. Newbies need to hear that everything will be OK and learn a few tips. We have wonderful mentors here. The trauma of leaving a cult will eventually subside and one can venture out into a more normal life. Take a look at the many thousands of people who have posted here over the past 20 years and we no longer hear from them. We are approaching 2,000,000 posts.

Perfectly said Erik.

I suppose some people do wallow in persecution.

And some wallow in smug. Just sayin'

And some people say just sayin and don't know it's a non sequitur.

There are a couple of reasons I stay on here..

One is, I want to hear tidbits of my abusive ex cult crumbling.

So very satisfying!

I'll give you that one but it's also holding you back

You are missing what are also (and always have been, at least in the more than ten years I have been here) integral, and VERY rare in non-RfM life, parts of this community:

The humor...the amazing breadth and depth of knowledge...the intelligence...the caring...the insights...

...and the FEELING of real community here.

This is a recovery board, and what it offers is open to anyone who passes by (as I did, once upon a time, as the result of a Google search), but the people who make up this community are often extraordinary, each in their own way.

When recovery has been "accomplished" (by any particular person's personal standards), what is "left" AFTER recovery is some of the funniest, most insightful, most knowledgeable, and wisest back-and-forth dialogue that can be found anywhere...

...and it is open to anyone who wants to join in, or anyone who simply wants to lurk.

RfM is one of the wonders of contemporary life---not only in my nevermo opinion, but in the opinion of all those who DO continue to participate (either by posting, or just by reading) in our community.

Methinks, oooo, you are so fixed on the individual trees (of recovery) that you can't even sense the great, and frequently magnificent, forest that the trees are a constituent part of---the gathering together of these often incredible people!!!

But other people do understand full well, and that is why they are here, and why they continue to make the choice to to be here.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2017 01:40PM by Tevai.

Methinks? Lol tell your dad Thor I said hi.

Sure the people here are insightful and special. I never said they weren't.

Not the wisest back and forth dialogue to found anywhere. It has its moments like anywhere else. Wisest? Found anywhere...uh, look around outside of your bubble. Verily, there is better banter in soooooo many places.

But the people here, yes the people here are great and have helped and do but they all seem stuck. To the outsider who needs help, a lot of great things happen here....then it turns into unceasing griping about things a feeling of bitterness that seems to haunt people over and over here. I'm not saying in a mean way to get over it, I'm saying you've done your work here now lay down the knife you keep stabbing yourself with.

And yet, here you are, replying to practically each poster in the thread, logging in time after time to do so.

From your OP, why would you bother? If you don't find this place interesting, by all means, go find something else that amuses you.

Everyone is not like you which just maybe could be a Mormon message you still harbor. :-) J/K

In an earlier post on this thread I said I would be here this weekend...so naturally I'm still here. Awesome research.

You amuse me.

I don't think that is a Mormon message.

If you decided to leave because you feel that it is unhealthy for you dwell on your past Mormonism, then I don't understand why you are here monitoring your thread and arguing with people who post comments.

I would have thought you would have made your post, said your goodbyes within it, and never visited this site again.

How about that

ooooooo, lucky you!

You can walk away from it, because you don't have loved ones still trapped in the cult. Maybe you live outside the Moridor, so you don't have Mormons stalking you and your family. You have escaped the shunning. You don't have Mormons trying to do business with you, wanting freebies and special privileges. Mormon neighbors aren't making up lies about you. You don't know or care that your 78-year-old aunt has to clean the toilets, or that your parents are leaving your inheritance to BYU. You don't have gays in your family, who have a sweet little girl who doesn't understand why she can't be baptized with her cousin.

We feel "persecuted", because Mormonism is still invading our lives, one way or another.

We run away--all the time--whenever possible--but we care too much to save only ourselves, and leave our dear ones under the bus.

Maybe you'll be among the lucky ones, but if you ever get blind-sided by Mormonism, you are welcome to come back. RFM has pulled me through some rough times, and it does get easier, each time.

Naw most of my enormous family is still lds.

It is still invasive to me. The only thing in life that you will ever have any control over is your own attitude about things.

My family has to wash toilets, so what.

Plenty of lies have been made up about me, so what.

You gnarl specifics that all suck to the people involved. We all get it. It sucks. So what.

(This is the part where someone uses my so what comments against me)

People. You're missing the point and again, another maven picking apart my post to defend their choice to wallow.

It is healthy to move on. I have a million things that I could come here and bitch about, my family sucks and treats me like dirt, lies, etc which have and are still happening. So what. It's not going to change. The only thing I can change is me. And so can you if you have balls to leave your pain behind...when you are ready.

The feeling of being lied to and mistreated has become a security blanket. Maybe you deserve better than that. Maybe if you were your own best friend you wouldn't let yourself spend your life countlessly digressing bad situation after bad situation. How is that better than being in the cult?

You know nothing about it being there it's rolled you up so completely.

Possibly the blanket of Mormon thoughts tapestry of threads woven through your muscles triggered by every move your body makes coordinating your next Mormon ritualized moment's movement
And the threads are so interwoven with past moevements every moment you've ever been you don't notice the puppet you are to Mormon threads they're so bred in they're like yeast in your bread like hairs on your head.

So when you flail about noticing everyone else taking note of these Mormon intrails of threads of thought sewn into past movements triggering muscled memories and automatic responses during life's routine, you read, you hear others complaining explaining another Mormon thread on exmo recovery board about an internalized routine Mormon thread their past Mormon programming triggered....

And you scream it isn't so it isn't so no Nono no no!

Oh you!

Life without introspections internal reflections

Dude ... WOAH!

Lay off the alcamahol. Are you drunk? Are you super baked? are you Chinese and used google translate? Are you special?

Seriously that post was so awesome I read it twice. A whole lot of threads doing a whole lot of wut? Seriously. There were so many threads! Are you making a sweater?

Interfering with their lives....is absurd. You sound like an actor on the Truman show complaining when the young man woke up became aware.

It's like Mormon folksy sweaters n garments n quilts n rugs and wall art paintings genealogy even the bread they bake tastes Mormon bought 100 miles away

Because that folksy Mormon culture wrapping them like a human present boxed in Mormon ribbon wrapped in Mormon gift wrap paper taped with Mormon tape , it holds them still

And they're just unwrapping the box Mormon folksiness wrapped them trapped in, climbing out out unwrapping the Mormon wrapping.

It's like complaining someone climbing out pulling wrapping paper off cling wrap hanging off their hair saying - hey you notice all this wrapping paper here, tripping me up!

And other folks whose been climbing out of their Mormon box pulling their Mormon tape off saying: yeah! I notice that too!

WHOLE THING IS LIE OOOO IS JUST TRYING TO MANIPULATE YOU. STAY IN LDS AND EXPOSE LINK AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TO LDS PEOPLE. NEED GO WORK ON LOGAN WARDS SEE YEAH

I think responses here indicate that your habit of stringing together a thousand tired cliches along with a sophomoric writing style causes many to welcome your immanent departure from our midst.

... and to toss in a quadzeroism, don't let the door bang your butt as you go.