"Aunt Wendy" (see quote below), was a menopausal virgin (supposedly) when she married an 82 year old. Let that sink in for a minute. So she's the authority on marvelous intimacy.

OK, we get it Auntie Wendy. You are talking about sex not necessarily equaling intimacy. And I totally agree. But to spare us from having to imagine the nauseating scenario of you knowing what marvelous intimacy is WITH marvelous sex, just come out and say what you mean. Nobody has marvelous sex and lays back and says, "wow, the spirit is so strong in here you can cut it with a knife." No matter how intimate they are with that partner.

What do talks like this lead to? Utah being the highest consumers of porn, in the top subscribers to Ashley Madison, tops in incest rates, etc. Because she is not talking to those of us who are enrolled in AARP. She is talking to vulnerable young people who hang on every word of those geezers. And when they take things like this to mean that you will have a great sex life if you let Holy the Ghost join in a threesome, and then it doesn't happen, you're stuck in a near sexless or loveless marriage with small children and a lot of life ahead of you.

It's not the same, Auntie, as what marriage has been for you. You have NO CLUE, none, nada, zero clue about marriage and family and sex and intimacy of young mormons. I don't care how many books you've read or written or how many talks you've given. You can only speculate. YOU DO NOT KNOW. I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm going to speculate that you have never had physically marvelous sex.

So tell it like it is. Tell people to make sure they're sexually compatible before marriage. Tell them to make sure they have both--intimacy and sexuality. Tell them it's ok to have sex without worrying about offending all the spirits who are watching. And quit making us read tripe like this:

"Sister Wendy Watson Nelson was a professor of marriage and family therapy for more than 25 years. She asked the young adults to think of her as “Aunt Wendy” as she offered advice on love and marriage.

“Marital intimacy is ordained by God,” said Sister Nelson. “It is commanded and commended by Him because it draws a husband and wife closer together, and closer to the Lord.”

She explained that personal purity is the key to true love. “Contrary to what all of its promoters claim, pornography will actually prevent you from experiencing the most marvelous kind of intimacy.”

She was probably Sheri dew's bitch to some degree. But you are right she doesn't know about hetero sex

Church people insist, of course, that Watson-Nelson and Dew are not lesbians, and were not partners. And yet there is adequate proof that they lived in a sort of marital or conjugal relationship for a number of years, buying a home together, and all that. (There's a legal term for this, but the word escapes me.) I suppose that need not mean they are lesbians, but I'm willing to entertain the thought. Two female active LDS friends of mine have lived together for years and years, one working for the LDS church. Turns out they are lesbian. Who knew?

I've given it some thought (probably more than it deserves) trying to figure out exactly what she meant by saying that the Holy Ghost is needed for "true" intimacy. On the one hand, it could mean that the Holy Ghost needs to be an active participant, though I genuinely don't know how this would be achieved (saying a prayer before? Some sort of Book-of-Mormon-based role play?). I think the more likely explanation is the don't do anything to offend the Spirit during intimacy (since fear of offending the Spirit is a major argument for not doing something in Mormonism). So this would mean that certain acts couples might engage in (oral sex, viewing pornography, anything "deviant") should be avoided since you'll lose the Spirit in doing them. But yeah, she isn't coming out and saying whatever it is she means, so it's really hard to say. I think most TBMs will interpret it as the later (don't offend the Spirit), but who's to say?

"Book-of-Mormon-based role play." Haha. Yeah, that's probably it.

"Hey Alma, how bou't we play a game of ram-me-umpton."

I bet Arnold Friberg paintings are involved.

"Oh, Nephi, I love your arm muscles..."

Agreed. Like she'd know any of this. I can't believe she was a professor of marriage and family therapy. talk about under-qualified. But BYU would only need someone who, although unqualified, was willing to pass on the party line. I'd bet she still continues close ties to Wendy, the two of them disappearing for a day or two at a time. Having said that, I think it's great if they do. They would need the time together to get away from the TMB patriarchy. As strong as they are, they should both break free.

I've mentioned before that my TBM brother told me he and his wife prayed before sex.

I was so gobsmacked I didn't say anything.

I wish I would have said "You're fucking kidding me, right?"

He is well ensconced in the COB.

In Mormonism due to the marvelous need for members to dedicate their lives totally to building up the Kingdom its important to start each time in the bedroom out with a prayer as the most appropriate form of foreplay. As the couples look at each other in the very attractive looking temple garments they can remember that Heavenly Father and the Angels in Heaven are making very careful records of all their thoughts/actions during that lovemaking session. If at anytime they feel at all uncomfortable that they might do something unholy, unnatural, or otherwise abominable then they can call up the Bishop, go confess to the Bishop, and otherwise get their Ward/Stake leaders/councils involved in all the details in order to help them feel loved and on the straight/narrow path. It's so vital that they not waste too much time on lovemaking except for its purpose to help them result in morning sickness, largeness, and other challenges of pregnancy for 9 months and then the joys/expenses of rearing a child into the covenant and towards missions & temple marriage and families of their own as quickly as possible so the exponential growth of the Lord's kingdom can be accelerated. Why not waste time is because there is so much more to do in other ways to build the Kingdom like making sure their children are being assimilated into the Kingdom, cleaning chapel toilets, fulfilling callings, paying very generous tithes/offerings, and doing everything else commanded of them by their loving Ward/Stake councils/leaders. From time to time I imagine that some members will think lustful thoughts while making love and when this happens they need to self-rebuke themselves as fast as possible and quickly repent. Otherwise their rap sheet at Judgment Day will have another demerit on it which could significantly curtail their Celestial Kingdom potential. How shameful of them to waste such precious time on lustful thinking (or heaven forbid - actual lustful actions) when they could be building up the Lord's Kingdom and they should be racked with horrible feelings of guilt for that.

So why have prayer at the beginning of sex? Because it'll obviously be the best way to help get ourselves to the Celestial Kingdom and many others. We should pray that we can be very fruitfully fertile and conceive quickly so we can bring children into our covenant homes and not into the homes of some wicked people, such as the grossly sinful people who drink green tea. And we should pray that we can finish sex quickly so we can be busy members of the Kingdom to get many more people assimilated and on the path to the Celestial Kingdom themselves. If we spend too much time on sex then we'll miss out on fulfilling our duties to build the Kingdom. And why the Celestial Kingdom is so appealing is because we'll be Gods which means that every day for the rest of eternity we'll be answering prayers; sort of like having trillions of SPAM email messages to sift through daily where each one needs a very sincere and complete response or else we'll feel super guilty for breaking a promise we made to our spirit kids' Heavenly Grandpa Elohim.

Sister Wendy is a British nun and art historian who had a program discussing great works of art. Her Google bio says she is also a hermit and consecrated virgin. I'm certain she is very knowledgeable about great art.

The first time I saw her program, she was discussing Renaissance nude paintings. It struck me as comical to have this nun talking about how sexy the naked women were in the paintings.

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Sister-Wendy-Beckett

I loved watching Sister Wendy; she really got into the lustier aspects.

I looked at this way: You don't have to be an Indy race driver to like fast cars! :-)

my tbm relatives were talking about this talk. Nothing against Watson, but in general it's interesting how academia works. Hire someone to teach a subject they know absolutely nothing about. Sort of like the British Nanny on tv (can't remember the station) that supposedly knows everything about young children and parenting yet never having had kids herself. But Universities (especially in the sissy degrees) are filled with these book learned folks who have no field experience.

Teacher colleges, have the same problem, the worst educators, or ones who couldn't hack it in real life are the administrators or professors.

Yes, but the Nanny had at least nanny-ed, right?

I would imagine she at least knew how to control and console children, to dole out punishments and rewards.

So Auntie Wendy might know what it's like to have an intimate relationship- a very, very, suspiciously close intimate friendship- and then she knows ALLLLLL about it. Yeah. Like that.

I think a threesome with the Holy Ghost or where the Spirit is real thick ends like this:

Receiving Partner: (in droning monotone enthusiasm) Oh God, shoot your load in my mouth. (Repeated three times)

Giving Partner: (after catching his breath) That will do.

Those who can do....those who cant...teach...its verifiable that those without real experience have all the answers...real experience is what smacks em in the head with how stupid they might be...ive seen dozens of young folk with all the answers to child rearing until that certain child kicks every old theory to the curb...short nights..ear aches..teething....colic and tons of all night crying can just make all those answers in effective..its fun to watch them go from cocksure ignorance...to thoughtful uncertainty...aunt wendy is almost past the age of actually learning anything useful...i doubt like hell russ can round out her experience...other than hollering...brace yourself wendy...when his little blue pills kick in...blue pills are the sure sign of the nail...ask any old geezer

The Holy Ghost is a giant white dildo attached to a white mixer. The male partner operated the mixer while the female interacts with the dildo creating several loud screams of O GOD over and over. It is the true order of threesomes.

This is actually an approved sexual position/toy for cult members.