These people I was friends with in Utah. The daughter is getting married in the Salt Lake Temple. Seen her grow up into a fine lady but have not had contact with them in 6 years. They know I am not a Mormon. Why would they send me an invitation, knowing my feelings? The only thing I can think of is for me to send money??

I've never understood how an invitation like this can be sent? What you have been invited to a seat outside. That's like me inviting friends to a Seahawk game and them having to sit outside the stadium.

And you can't fix stupid....

We did! It was a GREAT game!

The only time I have problems with a game is when Green Bay plays Seattle. I love them both. (So, in a way, I can't lose.)

yup - you could---

still doesn't fix stupid..

Not only are they soliciting a gift for the wedding they are telling you what to buy, and where to buy it!

Did they invite you to the reception? Knowing that you are out of state and have been out of touch with them for six years, I would view it as more of a wedding announcement and treat it accordingly. I would send a congratulatory card or a small gift based on your prior friendly relationship.

I live over 700 miles from Utah and received a temple wedding invitation from a friend who adopted an adult woman as her daughter. I never met this adopted daughter but got an invitation. Like most Mormon wedding invitations, I take it to be a plea for a gift or money. For people who are obviously unable to attend and inappropriately mailed a wedding invitation, an announcement or letter of excitement would have been more appropriate IMO.

It is traditional Mormon culture to invite a lot of people to a wedding. The other Mormon tradition is how they enclose a photo of the couple. Mormons, over the years, have developed their own set of traditions regarding weddings. Sometimes an invitation is posted on a bulletin board for the whole ward so they can attend the reception.

Generally, it's really an announcement, however. It's not an invitation to anything but maybe a reception, which I've seen a lot. The actual marriage is listed on the invite. Sometimes there are two receptions, one by the parents of the bride in one city and one by the parents of the groom in another city.

Few people can attend the "sealing" inside the temple because of the needed temple recommend and the small rooms.
Again,it's traditional to take family photos on the temple grounds.
This is so strictly Mormon tradition that I am surprised at the number of others that are invited.

Generally, if it's a distant family member or friend, I might send a gift but I am rarely able to attend the wedding, (Mormon or not) and reception as they are so far away. I was able to attend a beautiful Catholic wedding in Galveston, TX over a year ago. Their traditions are very different from Mormon traditions.

Galveston? Was the wedding or reception at The Flagship Hotel? That was a popular wedding spot when I lived near there.

StillAnon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Galveston? Was the wedding or reception at The
> Flagship Hotel? That was a popular wedding spot
> when I lived near there.

The wedding was at a very old Catholic Church and the reception was at an old Victorian type house a few blocks away. I've forgotten the names. Would have to look them up.

Could be a few things.

1) They wouldn't want you to feel that you weren't invited. They'd figure you might say, "You know I don't go to church anymore." "I know, but I still wanted to invite you."

2) They'd hope it might give you an incentive to pay your tithing and be active again, so that you can attend.

3) So that you'll know they're getting married and maybe you'll send a present.

Rule #1 with all weddings: invite every human being you've ever met in your entire life. Some of them who barely remember what you look like and don't give a rat's ass about you or your spouse-to-be will feel guilty enough to send a gift.

My daughter is a classy chick. When she got married she told people, "Please, in lieu of a gift to us, consider sending a donation to your favorite charity." You might want to proactively do that in this case if you feel like it.

I'd say Rule #1 is more prevalent with mormons. When we first moved into our neighborhood, we received wedding invitations from people that we've only met once, when they stopped by to welcome us (and invite us to church). We never even met the kids getting married. At first we felt guilty, but now we laugh about it- just a way to get a gift from strangers.

We request the honor of your presents! No, they're probably just happy to announce the wedding. My Nevermo parents sent out a lot of announcements mostly because the Bride beautiful!

It may well have been sent just for a notice that they are getting married (nothing expected in return but a "congratulations").

Anyway, no one need send a gift just because they got an invitation--it's up to the individual.

Geez.

I never realized how rude this was as a Mormon. It's unbelievable to send something like, come to our wedding, but oh wait you have to sit outside and you can't really see it, you're not good enough, and by the way here's our target gift list!

It's about the numbers. They aren't really thinking about it. They figure it's better to send to everyone on the contact list, like a kid inviting the whole class to a party, rather than just those it's closest to.

That's true, it's all about numbers, especially when it comes to gifts. Even those card-carrying TBM's can't all fit inside most "sealing" rooms, so some with TR's have to either wait outside, or just show up to the reception. The culture also doesn't do thank you notes or cards when people send or bring wedding gifts from what I've noticed. Another thing about those receptions is that they don't serve an actual meal as they're too cheap to have a buffet at least.

For me, I'd chose to decline an invitation to a Mormon wedding or reception, since I refuse to wait outside while a ceremony I'm not allowed to see is going on, yet pose for pictures.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2017 11:40PM by adoylelb.

We get this invitations regularly - although we are in Europe and don't have any plans to ever attend or even send them a gift from their target or BBB list (we don't even have target or BBB here!) Mostly from those who served here and they become smarter - a lot of them now also having an amazon wish list to loot some gifts.

Declined - without notice.

Thanks all. Gave me some good ideas

The invitation probably includes notice of one or more receptions. The couple probably wants their friends to know they got married. If you don't want to attend, you can decline, with no need to send a gift. If you RSVP to attend, it is traditional to also send a gift (though in mormon circles many people do bring them directly to the reception).

Mormon weddings.

I'm happy to buy a modest gift from their registry, and wrap it and mail it with a thoughtful card, that they can read at their leisure.

Believe me, it's worth every dime to NOT have to get dressed up and wait at the temple, and be quizzed as to why I'm not at the ceremony inside. I feel happy that I don't have to stand in line for an hour to congratulate a bride and groom who barely know me. I don't eat any cake, because I'm too eager to go home. It's true that no one serves a meal anymore. Even those little dollar sandwiches would be nice.

I enjoy the weddings of people I know well! Some have been a lot of fun, and memorable, over the years--hundreds and hundreds of weddings, of all my relatives and business associates, and friends, and children of friends.

Sometimes, we go in together for a nicer gift, which adds to the fun.

If you don't know the bride and groom at all, you don't need to respond, after 6 years of silence.