So I visited some of my relatives yesterday and they seem to have really nice lives. Educated, white collar (management sort of jobs where you can have a desk), decent amount of money, houses, growing families etc... I don't have any of that and wonder how would that be?

I think mormonism is a better fit for successful people because they get more acceptance and adulation. A lot of people are dissatisfied because they have different kinds of problems that religion doesn't seem to address very well. (which is me)

I have a hard time understanding how successful people (in the traditional way) really would want to leave if they have so many benefits. People like John Dehlin, Abby Huntsman, and others who seem to do really well in this life.

Any thoughts?

There are a lot of reasons people leave Mormonism.

It's true that Mormons who's lives have met with obstacles and un-planned changes don't fit in as well, socially. Older singles, divorced people, couples with no children, gays, races other than white, women, handicapped, the poor--seem to be marginalized from the mainstream "leadership types."

My husband and I had it all. His revered, wealthy, revered high-priest parents and his bishopric brother and wife and kids were in the same ward. We were both BIC BYU alumni from respectable old Mormon families. We were in demand socially. I played the organ and was useful. We did have social benefits, but that was all.

Our problem was that my husband and his brother discovered The Truth. It began when they read "No Man Knows My History." They read other books, and the more they read, the more disgusted they became with the fact they were in a cult. They were raising their children to be cult members! My husband and his brother resigned at the same time.

When one spouse resigns, the other usually follows. I was tagged as "the wife of an inactive." I was treated like I was single. Men in the ward started hitting on me, as though I had no marriage at all! We were excluded from all the couples activities that our group old friends always planned. My in-laws blamed ME for my husband leaving the cult. I saw how nasty and judgmental the Mormons were towards my husband, too. I remained active, forcing my reluctant children to go with me, for about a year, but finally my husband talked some sense into me. My children were happy to leave Mormonism. They liked the Lutheran church much better, and we all had much nicer, truer friends there. Leaving was like coming into the light. We were a closer family after that.

I think "successful" people with nice lives have nice lives IN SPITE of Mormonism, not because of Mormonism. They leave because it is a lying, hoax cult. Their lives continue to be just as successful and nice--maybe more so--without Mormonism cluttering things up and interfering with their relationships.

The Truth is The Truth, no matter what you financial or social standing.

Maybe the educated people you describe are even MORE likely to question things and delve deeper into the facts.

interesting perspective, there are so many ways, and groups of people that don't fit in, It's amazing anyone can keep on with the routine.
<< Older singles, divorced people, couples with no children, gays,
<<races other than white, women, handicapped, the poor--seem to be
<<marginalized

But maybe that's basically all that the well connected actually get. "Social benefits" and nothing more. I'll consider this more.,,

If I hadn't been a more intelligent, thinking human creature who was able to figure things out for myself, maybe.

Because I was, if my life had been more "charmed" inside the church would I have been more inclined to have stayed?

I'd been at odds with the church's teachings for as long as can remember, even when I was following it religiously.

The critical reasoning skills came before my maturity did that gave pause to my reflection long enough for me to finally figure it out - after studying through it - it was too blatantly obvious to ignore the scam that Joe had perpetrated.

Living life authentically comes with risks and challenges. The same integrity and honesty that led my pioneer ancestors into the church is what ultimately led me away from it. So I'm really really glad to have been able to find my way out of the maze.

If my life had been more ideal, when I figured out the hoax, then by going along to keep up a facade of the life I was thus living would be my own perpetuation of a fraud.

That goes against who and what I am, so I would hope I'd have the integrity to leave even if I were a Romney or a Monson. Since I haven't had to live up to that kind of pressure, I don't have to worry about it.

My halo is well polished and I DON'T NEED TSCC.

No.

I think there can be something to the idea that when things are going well in life, you're going to be less inclined to question the institutions in your life.

I was raised in an "Educated, white collar (management sort of jobs where you can have a desk), decent amount of money, houses, growing families etc..." LDS family. And nearly all the Mormons I knew were the same. But I left because despite being in a picture book Mormon family, I was miserable. Just below the surface, I knew I didn't believe any of it, that I was a Mormon only by the accident of birth.

It almost scares me to think about it, because I'm afraid the answer might be yes. Not really sure how extremely believing I'd be, but I might have been able to push doubts to the back burner and would possibly be living one of those Utah/Idaho "idealistic" lives, i.e., competing with the neighbors for who can be the shallowest. I would probably have a lot more material things (though education wouldn't be one of them) and maybe have been a SAHM all my life. But I look at those women now and think if that were me I'd be saying "please God, just kill me now." However, I wouldn't know any different so would be at least as happy or blissfully content (often totally ignorant) as they are.

So I've said it before, I have to sometimes be grateful that I married an RM asshole, had the struggles I did, ended up a single mother who had to get an education, and was open to questioning the ridiculous patriarchy. And when presented with facts that contradicted the whitewashed story of church history, I was curious enough, due to being fed up with the treatment of women, especially ones like me, that I couldn't get enough of researching and learning the truth. And the rest is history--a life that continually gets more meaningful.

I think most "extraordinary TMBs" don't actually believe it. It's just easier to go along, to get along.

I think the percentage of folks who actually believe it is much smaller in the active population, and much higher in the inactive population.

Seems counter-intuitive until you think about it.

I think some successful well polished people are raised in Mormonism to believe their success comes from being Mormon. The Book of Mormon and leadership teaches over and over that God prospers the righteous, including with physical wealth.

Plus, if you read church leader talks closely there are many veiled threats that they will lose their social status and not do well in life if they leave. It's a classic cult trick. Tell them they'll get in an accident, get sick, etc. if they leave.

So successful people have more psychological barriers in some cases to leaving the church. They have more to lose, they think. Even though they'd be MORE successful without the church. Any success they got is usually due to their own hard work plus talent plus luck, despite being taxed 10% in tithing the whole time.

I think a lot, and think differently than many of the people around me. Even if I was successful, rich, and had a house of my own and a family, I would still have realized that the church didn't feel true, and didn't make me happy. I do not see how I could have possibly remained in the church.

My life be MORE IDEAL? hahaahahahha
Sorry, I couldn't help it...


Extraordinary is life being me, in my mind anyway at least, and has nothing to do with [ignorantly] following a sickening cult (with a bunch of foolish followers following a dirty, slimy, disorganized set of backward ideals-lies).

Extraordinary is living your life based on your own ideals, not throwing it down the toilet for the promise of gold and silver in some future, special, exclusive heaven.

I was a super TBM, well liked, no problems in the area of the church. What got me out was I was interested in truth.

I'm not immune to a little quid pro quo.

If I were attending church and some big shot offered me a nice high-paying gig with the implicit restriction that it's only offered to TBMs, well, sonny, just wait 'til you hear my testimony next Sunday.

I will stand there at the pulshit and cry like a baby as I recount how the Holy Ghost showed me that Joseph Smith was God's special messenger to save We Chosen Few from Satan, Starbucks, and bare shoulders. Pay me enough money and I'll lead elders' quorum meetings with a straight face. Thankfully nobody offered me squat when I was active so I don't have to prostitute myself. I can pretend to take the moral high road with my nose up in the air, knowing full well I'll pimp myself to LDS if the money's right.

(I still wouldn't believe a word of it. After all, it's all bullshit.)