Found during a typical church building while a Fist and Testimonkey meeting was going on inside:

SIX WAYS TO ENJOY CHRISTMAS

Celebrate Christ's birth with your friends from the [Nimrod Valley] Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints [666 Jimmy Cake Ridge Road, Moroniville, Nunavut]

[I'm making up the name of the ward and the location]

First: The Wonder of the Nativity,
Friday December 2, and Saturday December, 3 5:00pm-8:00pm
Over 200 Nativity sets on Display, Live Nativity, Entertainment, Refreshments, Sing-along, Family-friendly, Free, Casual Dress, [address]

Second: The First Presidency Christmas Devotional Broadcast
Sunday, December 4, 2-16, at [time]. The program, originating from Salt Lake City, Utah, will include Christmas messages by General Authorities of the Church. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square will provide the music. View live stream of devotional on LDS.org, BYU.tv, Mormon Channel website, or LDS chapel [address]

Third: 2016 Christmas gathering for the [Nimrod Valley] Ward
Saturday, December 17, brunch in the Cultural Hall [address]. Enjoy brunch and fellowship with your friends in the [Nimrod Valley] Ward.

Fourth: Christmas with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on PBS. PBS stations will be broadcasting a one-hour Christmas special with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir featuring Laura Osnes and Martin Jarvis. [channels and times]

Fifth: Christmas Sacrament Meeting Service [<take note of this]
Sunday, December 25, at 9:00 am, Sacrament Meeting only - no classes. Begin your Christmas Day with inspirational messages and Christmas music.

Sixth: Take the Christmas Challenge
Light the world by doing an act of kindness this Christmas. Serve "anyone you want anyway you want" beginning December 1 and continuing thru Christmas.

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FWIW, I might point out, that this ward's bishop is a very nice guy, at least when I've met him, but he's the one I mentioned before in a post a couple years ago how both he as his wife have a Brady Bunch family, that is, each has been married before, and that he let out in Sunday school that his wife left her first husband because he didn't believe in the church anymore.

Does anyone seem cynical because this year December 25 falls on a Sunday? Note that this is not the same ward which a couple years ago listed a calendar in which normal weekday activities would still be held December 24 and 25 (but no worship services), but it's in the same area.

Take time FROM families.
Followers, following lost followers.

Slightly OT, but growing up Episcopalian, if Christmas was on the 25th, we didn't have to go church, but it was fine if you went to (a short)8 a.m. mass and then came home to the usual festivities. (I don't think we ever did that, but there's always a Christmas morning mass whatever day it falls on.)

However, the big deal was that we'd always go to midnight mass, and even as a kid I thought it was cool: different than the usual Sunday stuff, and at the end the lights would go out as we sang 'Silent Night' and the priest would light a candle from the altar, then each person in turn would light their own candle all through the church until it was just a sea of candle light and a cappella singing; as we walked outside in the crisp night air, usually with a moonlit sky and a quiet town, it was very special. Not necessarily "spiritual", but definitely uplifting.

Oh, and a family tradition was that everyone got to open one gift on Christmas Eve before we went to Midnight mass, so that took the edge off for an antsy 10 year-old. :-)

Last night I caught a little bit of the First Presidency's Downer-Devotional. Lots of praying, paying, and obeying present (gotta reinforce that tithing shit). And, curiously, Christ's suffering and atonement on the cross. Think it as a scary you'd-better-be-good Christmas lump of coal. The Nimrod Valley stuff should include cleaning toilets at a rest home as a service project. The Boner.

They left out hot coffee the first thing on Xmas morning, and nude cuddling and hot chocolate drinking with someone on Xmas Eve. Yes, Xmas.

And the festive red enchiladas and green margaritas for Christmas Eve dinner. My own tradition and I REALLY enjoy Christmas.

How mormon-centric is that? All mormon stuff for mormons!

The Mo-Tab choir is the only thing a non-mormon might enjoy.....if it weren't for all the mormons they would have to put up with.

1. Watch a Christmas Story (or you'll shoot your eye out)
2. Introduce family to Trans-Siberan Orchestra Christmas CDs
3. Throw snowballs at each other
4. Eat a bunch then drink hot cocoa or hot coffee or both
5. Buy a sexy outfit then realize you're afraid to wear it or it's the wrong size
6. Sing bawdy Smithmas carols to piss off your Mormon neighbors
Love X-mas!!!!!

Our Mormon neighbors just remodeled the front of their fancy house. They remodel homes for a living, and document everything on their website. Last Christmas Eve, they had workers sand-blasting their brick walkways, all afternoon. The noise drowned out our family party. At 7:00 pm, I went over there and called them a bunch of Christ-less heathens--which is not like me at all--but enough is enough!

They have decorated their newly-painted light gray and white house with white lights, professionally placed with sophisticated perfection--everywhere. A white and tinsel tree gleams in the main window, and the entry steps are lined with more white lights and 20 large white poinsettia plants, in white urns. You can read by the celestial LED glow.

This year, my daughter surprised me by putting up all our usual Christmas lights, that we'd been putting up for the last 30 years. We like vintage colored lights, green garlands and green wreaths with red bows. We have a large pine tree on the curb strip, and its lights can be seen for two long blocks in each direction. There are two tall matching Christmas trees on either side of our living room window, with our fake tree inside, decorated with old, hand-made ornaments. The grandkids especially love the tacky lighted deer on our lawn. Yeah, we're THAT family.

When I came home that night, I saw the two houses, side by side, and burst out laughing! I guess you'd have to be there....

Agnes Broomhead, this is priceless! You could not have made this up!

What a gloomy Christmas. I'm so happy to be away from all that.

The act of kindness was thrown on at the end as an afterthought. Anyone who's a parent or a pet-owner would have trouble limiting their acts of kindness to ONLY ONE a day, and only for the month of December.

Wow, over 200 nativity sets on display. I know that after
seeing 199 nativity sets I'll be so excited to see the 200th.

Oh happy day!