So yesterday I saw 8 mishies eating at the Super China Buffet in Shoreline, WA (just N of Seattle). I walked up to them and gave a warm greeting, they invited me to sit down. I was very curious, so I had them each say their home town. One was from Ventura, CA, and the other 7 all from Utah: Alpine, Lindon, Pleasant Grove, Woods Cross, Layton, Kaysville, and Smithfield. All were white males.

Being a keen judge of people, I could quickly tell that 4 of the 8 were masturbators, and one was a bed-wetter. And one was a narc who ratted the others out to the MP.

Wanting to let them eat their buffet and enjoy, I just kept it short. I just asked them to do all their "prospects" a favor: please give them all the info up front. Rather than not disclosing the "real stuff" because it's suppose to be milk before meat, I requested they clearly state that God used to be a man.....that he earned his deity by obedience to HIS father & advancing & progressing to become a god. To be forthright when asked about polygamy and Joseph Smith. And to explain the committment being an active Mormon requires; attending long meetings, paying your $$, cleaning the bathrooms, doing geneology, being a missionary, home teaching, etc.

They seemed a little in shock that anybody knows about their church.

At the end, I told them I was glad to see them get a good, full meal! Then as they were opening their fortune cookies, I noticed them saying the MP told them to NOT read the fortune message.....stricktly against mission rules. Oh boy....

When I ran into a mangle of missionaries at a Costco a few years ago, I exclaimed in a loud voice, "All right! The book of mormon play finally came to town!!"
All I got were sour looks and one, "Huh?".

Maybe because it is a musical?

That must be why they were confused.

The only missionaries who don't talk with me are the ones assigned to my ward...hmmmmm....I wonder why?

That said, I like talking with missionaries as most are friendly, but a little lonely. I generally ask them where they're from. Here in Utah, they tend to come from all over the world. I generally welcome them to Utah/America. I tell them I'm not LDS but have a son on on a mission. I ask them what it felt like to be called to Utah. I generally get some pretty candid responses! Let's say, the answers generate quite a bit of laughter.

By this time, the kids are more relaxed and ask me about me. I find that I tend to become more quiet and serious. I tell them that when I was a young person I followed my heart and joined the church, but as I got older I found that "Mormonism didn't work for me." This most often starts to bring the conversation to closure. We both wish each other well, and I close with wishing them well.

On one occasion, one elder tried the standard script question, "Is your current church based on revelation?" So, I decided to continue the conversation (this is my best reconstruction of the events)--

"Yes, we are based on God's perfect revelation."

A confused look..."And that would be?"

"Jesus Christ, the Word revealed in flesh."

... big eyes..."But, you don't believe in continued revelation!"

"Yes, God, the Holy Spirit--the creative force in the universe--continues to inspire God's children."

"But, you don't have a prophet!"

"You do?"

"Yes, he's Thomas S. Monson!"

"So, other than Mormonism hates gays, what else has your prophet revealed? Oh, and please don't tell me about General Conference talks or Ensign articles, specifically, what doctrines or world events has your prophet revealed?"

...confused hurtful looks...I felt like shit knowing I had hurt him (he's a KID)...

"Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I just wanted to let you know that other people, including those of use who left the Mormon Church don't see things the way the Mormons do. Let me give you a handshake and let's agree that you're following you heart, okay?"

"Okay."

I still will talk to the missionaries, I just don't like the smug ones. The Boner.

Hi Boner.....Happy Holidays to you. After reading your story of you and the missionaries I was a little confused as to who was the missionary and who wasn't. Sometimes our message against " smugness" is one we should consider taking to heart. Again, Happy Holidays, ...always a pleasure communicating with a fellow BYU alumnus.

... fortune cookies are that!

My wife and I had four sister missionaries for dinner last night. Three of the four were from Utah; the fourth was from California. It was a fairly enjoyable evening, though I am an avowed curmudgeon and they insisted on showing the new 25 Days of Service video.

A couple of the sisters were discussing wedding plans after their mission. One had said hers would be in SLC, but after a thoughtful pause added Las Vegas.

When I noted that that seemed an odd pairing given Sin City's reputation for quickie weddings, she said, "Oh, I meant the Las Vegas Temple, of course."

I couldn't leave it at that, so I asked, "Considering the elaborate temple wedding ceremonies, can I expect that the Las Vegas Temple weddings have an over-the-top Elvis theme?"

Rather than being shocked at my irreverent question, they quickly piled on with asking how Elohim and Satan would be portrayed in the endowment ceremony. Jump-Suit Elvis? Bearded Elvis? Lamanite Elvis? "Uhh, thank you. Thank you very much."

Boner, I find it difficult to believe that you would hurt anyone's feelings intentionally. That his mentors sent him into the world so ill-prepared and uneducated - well, disillusion can be painful, and his "people" left it up to strangers.

I understand that you understand mishie naivete, but still... it's not all on you. Your honesty that day may have been a very important seed.

Best to you. :)

I'll bet that missionary from Ventura really just wanted go surfing and then hit In'N'Out Burger.

Yes...we have Sonic burger and Kidd Valley, but no In N Out near us here......he would feel right at home!

So let's see if I have this right. All the pressure to sell a religion that nobody with their wits about them would actually buy, and all the blather about inspiration and communicating with Heavenly Father(™) has rendered these poor schlubs so emotionally unstable that a goddamn fortune cookie is enough to drive some of them over the edge?

No, it's not a cult....

being in the greater puget sound area myself, I wonder....

what does they do so wrong to be assigned to Shoreline? That's right up there with Tacoma or Everett.....

Also, these mishies drove away, I noticed, in 3 separate mission cars...all fairly new Toyota Corollas painted white...

Those cars are flim-flam.

I rented one from the Salt Lake airport facility in May. It rattled and felt like I was driving a tin can.

Nor do they handle well when put to the test.

My cousin who I visited while on my vacation shared when she used to drive a Corolla it was/is known to flip over from sudden braking.

Now she drives a larger Toyota and no longer has such problem.

I was offered an upgrade while checking out at the airport facility. Next time I shall take them up on their offer!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/02/2016 10:56AM by Amyjo.

NT

8 missionaries discovered using the computers at a public library in Dickinson, North Dakota one time earlier this year, so no, it's not unusual at all.