About 7 years ago, I had an interesting experience with a SP. I am curious if any of you have had similar experiences or requests when you confessed your sins. It still really bothers me to this day.

Context: I am BIC, RM, but at the time not married. When I returned from my mission, I moved away from home (SE Idaho) to SLC. While at college, I was a normal guy and I had a few girlfriends. I stayed "pure" for a while but was eventually "seduced". I felt bad so I became inactive for about 3 years because I was too embarrassed to confess. Well, over those few years, I had a few more girlfriends and yes, we had lots of sex.

I started feeling bad about life and extremely guilty because I wasn't living the standards of TSCC so I finally decided to go back to church. It took me about two years of attending church before I dared confess. The bishop kept asking me to accept callings but I would turn them down because I wasn't worthy - but I gave the excuse that I travel for work and couldn't accept (it was the truth). Well, one Sunday he pulled me into his office and asked me what was going on. I started to confess and got to the story about girl number two and he told me that I needed to talk to the SP.

All week I felt massive anxiety but knew that once I got it all out there, I would be "clean" again. So, I went to see the SP and told him everything.

Here is the problem: He told me that the road to repentance is difficult but worth while. So he assigned me some projects. First, I was to read about five books (Miracle of Forgiveness, Jebus the Christ, and others that I don't recall). I started to feel overwhelmed but figured it was a small price to pay. Then he asked for a written list of the names of all the girls I had sex with, specifics of the situation, if any of them were married or members of the church, length of the relationship, and frequency of occurrences. I was to bring it to him the following week and then he would give me the date and time of my Court of Love. I don't know how to describe my feelings but I was furious, confused, concerned, upset, but mostly confused. I asked him why I needed to provide a list and he said that it was part of the repentance process. He said it with a very indignant tone and almost angry. I cowered and relented.

During the following week I drafted the list in a password protected Word doc with all of the requested information. On Sunday, I gave him a printed copy. He thanked me and set up a date for my Court.

Anyway, have any of you ever had anything similar happen where you were asked to provide a written list of sexual sins with names, and specifics? And WTF happened to that paper??!! I hate the thought that the church has my personal business somewhere in a file. None of it is that interesting, but reads like a poorly written letter to penthouse forum with a few girls' names. And names were not changed for anonymity.

Any insights will be much appreciated.

And now you feel cleansed ? Some how I doubt it. Ever wonder how many meetings you were the subject of? How many horny guys got off on hearing the sordid details of your exploits? If I were in your shoes, I'd be feeling violated and dirty.

I hate to tell you this, but yes, I was put in a very similar situation.

At the time, I'd been a temple attending TBM(bic) that was married to another TBM(convert) for 20 years. We decided it was time to be sealed to each other(long story).

If I wanted to be sealed to my husband, the sp insisted I give names and details of anyone i'd had any "relationships" with when I was a single non member in my 20's and 30's. Hubby and I had gotten married in our mid 30's.

I'd been ex'd in my late 20's. It was ALL speculation on their part. I was an inactive(7years)single member that they ex'd in absentia. I never met anyone who ex'd me. I only knew about it when I got an announcement in the mail.

I was rebaptized in my mid 30's. Nobody ever asked me a thing about my past. This surprised me, but whatever. My new husband and I were baptized together with my 2 kids. In hindsight I see that we were nothing more than a golden egg that they didn't want to piss off. How I wish the internet had been up and running then. We never would have gotten involved with the mormon church.

Twenty years later is when the shit hit the fan. 20 years of callings, raising kids, paying tithing, etc. Not only was I grilled about my past, but I was grilled in front of my husband.

Hubby and I knew about our past relationships, but certainly didn't go into details for obvious reasons. This stupid sp wanted me to go into detail about my relationships with other men with my husband of 20 years sitting there.

No way in hell was this going to happen. First of all, I KNEW who I was. No sp who didn't know himself from a rock was not going to be privy to any of my personal info. My husband was appalled at the questions being asked of me in front of him. This was NOT anything he wanted to know. Even he, felt it was none of his business. He told the sp to knock it off. He said that God knew my heart and who I was, and if that wasn't good enough for sp, then he felt sorry for him. We got up and left.

The sp requested another interview with me. I decided to go because I was curious. He got down dirty and very personal. He told me that the prophet and his cronies KNEW what i'd done, and they knew if I lied to him. It was all I could do to not burst out laughing. The man was insane. He started to outline everything I would have to tell him, "or suffer for eternity by being denied my husband and children". On that note, I told him to "Fuck Off!" and that was the last time I saw that crazy or set foot inside of a mormon church.

I went home, got online and read MormonThink.com. Good God! Did I ever dodge a bullet. I was furious that those assholes had the audacity to try and destroy me, my marriage, and my relationship with my kids, all based on a pack of lies. What a disgusting heap of dog shit those men are.

All 4 of us resigned together from the mormon church. It was the best thing that ever happened to me and my family. None of my grandkids will ever be mormon. That makes me very happy.



Edited 8 time(s). Last edit at 10/25/2016 12:28AM by madalice.

Awesome, just awesome! Sorry you had to endure this, but glad you had the strength to say "goodbye!"

take back your power

They also want the names, dates and actions so they can send that information to the bishops and stake presidents with authority over your lovers. Those people will then be held to account just as you were.

It is horrifying on two levels: first, that they want to know details at all; and second, that they make your status dependent on their ability to hunt down other people. It is like Winston Smith in 1984: they will break you by making you betray those you have loved.

This is exactly why I never got the names of the girls ...

It is pure evil. Turning things of beauty into smut.

10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the
woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers?
hath no man condemned thee?

11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do
I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

12 However, said Jesus unto her, as part of the repentance
process thou must come to mine office weekly and recount the
details of thy sin.

13 And yea, thou must name names and tell what acts thou hast
performed and in what positions and what did occur both before
and after.

14 and thou must repeat all and sundry details of thy sin over
and over that thou mayest be cleansed, more or less.

Aha! The Joseph Smith making it all true version of the La Biblia! It has the ring of truth now!

Very interesting story. The only thing I have to relate is that I was in the bishopric and part of a "court of love" a couple times. The bishop was a really good guy and didn't want to even hold these (he told me once that there were a few inactives that he "probably" should hold a court but just didn't want to go there.

Well, a young man (about 20) must have confessed to him some things and we held a court. The questions of "who" and "what" and further invasive questions was unnerving to me. Why did we need to know exactly what happened, in detail??

I was just like you....felt guilty for everything and especially when I was a teenager and got oral sex from a girlfriend. Strange but now that I'm an adult and single I'm having all kinds of intimate relations with women and don't feel guilty at all. I'm out of the morg and feel no guilt of anything at all. I'm not rationalizing to feel better...I simply feel fine with adult relationships I'm having. I'm actually happy! Imagine that.

Isn't that amazing? I was a big ball of guilt while righteously attending church. Now I don't feel much guilt at all. Church rules have been replaced with plain old be nice to each other rules.

I can not believe the commonplace voyeuristic nature of getting all the details... Just really creepy.

I grew up in the Episcopal Church and we had a general confession that was said by EVERYONE including the Priest (or Bishop if he was there). And your confession was between you and God, the church authorities did not need to know who else was involved in your iniquity. Here is the confession part of the communion service from the 1928 prayer book... i still love the Elizabethan English that I grew up with

---------------------------------------------------------------

YE who do truly and earnestly repent you of your sins, and are in love and charity with your neighbours, and intend to lead a new life, following the commandments of God, and walking from henceforth in his holy ways; Draw near with faith, and take this holy Sacrament to your comfort; and make your humble confession to Almighty God, devoutly kneeling.

¶ Then shall this General Confession be made, by the Priest and all those who are minded to receive the Holy Communion, humbly kneeling.

ALMIGHTY God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Maker of all things, Judge of all men; We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, By thought, word, and deed, Against thy Divine Majesty, Provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, And are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; The burden of them is intolerable. Have mercy upon us, Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father; For thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ’s sake, Forgive us all that is past; And grant that we may ever hereafter Serve and please thee In newness of life, To the honour and glory of thy Name; Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

¶ Then shall the Priest (the Bishop if he be present) stand up, and turning to the People, say,

ALMIGHTY God, our heavenly Father, who of his great mercy hath promised forgiveness of sins to all those who with hearty repentance and true faith turn unto him; Have mercy upon you; pardon and deliver you from all your sins; confirm and strengthen you in all goodness; and bring you to everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

¶ Then shall the Priest say,

Hear what comfortable words our Saviour Christ saith unto all who truly turn to him.

COME unto me, all ye that travail and are heavy laden, and I will refresh you. St. Matt. xi. 28.
So God loved the world, that he gave his only-begotten Son, to the end that all that believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. St. John iii. 16.

Hear also what Saint Paul saith.
This is a true saying, and worthy of all men to be received, That Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. 1 Tim. i. 15.

Hear also what Saint John saith.
If any man sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and he is the Propitiation for our sins. 1 St. John ii. 1, 2.

------------------------------------------------------------

This even go some press when Prince Charles married Camilla ... the press thought the line " Manifold sins and wickedness" was scandalous... its just part of the service.

I never felt anxiety about confession, of course if I ever wanted to talk to the priest about a sin I could have done so, I never felt the need. And I know I would never be compelled to "snitch" on someone else

Anon-B,

You gave him their names?!

I need a beverage.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/25/2016 12:32PM by tenaciousd.

I confessed while I was in the MTC. The district president asked me for all the people with whom I engaged in sexual behavior. Of course, he didn't know any of them, so he didn't ask for names. But he wanted to know dates, what our relationship was like, what we did and how many times, whether or not they were church members, and if we still had any contact. He wrote all of my answers down. He told me to contact everyone and apologize for violating their chastity, but even TBM me knew that was ridiculous.

Back then I was 19, barely an adult and still quite in love with Mormonism. I can't believe I didn't see any problem telling this complete stranger about my sexual history in such detail. I know I thought it was weird, but now I feel outraged. Now, a few years later I've learned the truth and I can't believe that I, or any young woman, would allow this to happen.

People seek power, and the higher up you are, the more power you have enjoy--and the nature of power is seek more.* Just think, OP: your past lovers' names are forever (*ahem*) enshrined in the Morg's database, and every bishop they serve under (pun intended) has access to that.

Folks, I think it's time that everybody read, or even RE-read, Orwell's "1984." China plans to implement such a system on its captive subjects, using Big Data. Read it and cringe:

http://triblive.com/usworld/world/11348900-74/china-party-social

And don't think "it can't happen here." The building materials are already arriving at the job site.

*From an old fable: A very rich man kept buying up more and more farms. Since he lived luxuriously, he was asked when he felt he had everything he wanted. He replied, "All I want is that farm next to mine,"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/25/2016 10:41AM by caffiend.

Have you contacted the women whose intimate sexual details and names you gave to the LDS Creep Wing of the Taliban? One hopes they didn't suffer undo harm because of your confession.

A nice call of apology although difficult, would be worthwhile to quote your Gestapo-trained SP.

That would be a true road to redemption.

Very good point, tenaciousd.

A disturbing analogy came to my mind: You should do this if you found you were carrying, and spreading, an STD. These people would need to attend to this unhappy reality they were otherwise ignorant of. In a manner of speaking, the OP spread an infection.

This would be the most courageous thing to do. The more info the girl has, the better she can decide if she wants to respond to those pervs.

It's a combination of dirty old man prurience, and fishing for information to either blackmail or hit on (or both) future victims.

It all sounds very silly to me.

Sex is no big deal. If a couple wants to formulate their own rules that work best for them (e.g., monogamy vs. open relationship vs. whatever), let them.

But why would someone else, someone who's not a sex partner, have any business telling another person what or what not to do? Of course, society has an interest in protecting people against the consequences of sex when a participant is not a consenting adult, but otherwise ain't nobody's business but my own, like the song says.

I feel sorry for the stake president. He's hip-deep in the whole soap opera and he didn't even get to participate in the sex!

How funny, that theoretically sentient humans waste their time with sort of thing!

Yep, they wanted all the details, including whether or not I wore my garments prior to the dirty deed. For my first court, I didn't have any names to provide. I had moved prior to the court convened to reinstate my full membership and had to review all the details again. By then the bishop had trained me to tell the truth, but not the whole truth.

For those comments about why would we put ourselves through that-I was fully indoctrinated and truly believed that it was worth the pain in order to regain my CK ticket.

Thank you all for your great insights and opinions. I should have been more clear about curiosity. What goes on behind the scenes with documentation provided to the Morg? Any former SPs or Bishops have any ideas? Like I said in the original post, the confession was around seven years ago and the offending actions were well over 10 year ago. Also, I did not provide last names and all but one of the few people on the list were not even members. I may have been an brainwashed idiot, but I wasn't totally blind.

Much has changed since then and apparently an update will be appreciated by some. Three years ago (2013), I went to visit my parents on their public affairs mission. I was very disturbed by what I saw them doing, the amount of money I saw spent on wining and dining government officials and local pastors in an effort to generate good-will. I was still TBM, paying over $10k/year in tithing (relevant to the story), but I was beginning to question. I finally did some research and all my suspicions were confirmed.

Anyway, I eventually realized that I held all the power and the cult has exactly zero authority if I don't give it to them. I was in the EQ presidency and very active. So, my first step was to stop paying tithing. I stopped paying tithing mid-year 2014 and when I was called into Tithing Settlement in November 2014, I was asked if I had paid a full tithe. I didn't initially say yes or no, but I responded with a question. I asked the Bishop why the church demands full accountability from me in all things (financial, moral, actions, honesty, time, etc.) but why can't I hold the church accountable? He asked what I meant so I elaborated. I do audit work of financial institutions for a living so I know a little bit about money management. I told him that I would not give the Morg another penny until the church provided some semblance of accountability. Most of you know the pre-packaged response. "Brother Anon-B, Jebus will hold the Brethren accountable, blah, blah blah." I then countered with the fact that Beneficial Life (the dying insurance arm of Bonneville Corp) received a $700 MILLION capital injection due to losses of $559 MILLION on mortgage-backed securities (I don't recall the timeframe but around 2010). And then the $3-5 BILLION City Creek Development! I asked how all of those ventures were funded, etc., and how would the church be accountable to tithe-paying members for the use of funds.

The banter went on for about a half hour and in the end the Bishop said he would put me down as a partial tithe payer. I told him to do whatever he wanted. A few weeks later, I told him that I would no longer be in the EQ presidency and a few weeks after that, I stopped going all together. In 2015, I did not even get a call from the Bishop for TS and this year, we'll see what happens.

I didn't mean to digress into other matters but I am fully cognizant of my complete blind faith in Morg leadership - and even cowardice demonstrated while "repenting". Yes, the separation process from the church has been extremely difficult as the social upheaval is intense! For example, family smugly feels bad for my soul, my wife will be leaving me because I can't get into Super VIP Heaven now, and the neighbors try to leverage the kiddies. I'm over the anger so now I'm trying to understand my past behavior so that I can better use the church's own language and modus operandi to counter their pathetic attempts to reactivate me. Now, I actually look forward to encounters with TBMs that want to help me achieve their version of salvation because they cannot play ignorant anymore!! Rock in the hat, JS banging tons of chicks, the Tyrant Brigham Young, BoA, Pay to Play get into heaven scheme - I mean temple, etc. I find it highly entertaining to watch the mental gymnastics at play.

Sorry to go on and on. While I understand now how I should have stood up to myself, the many stories on here demonstrate the strangle-hold the Morg has over many people. I feel good about myself and am not looking for sympathy. I hope my sharing my experience will give others courage just like I have received help from all of you.

I'm sure your parents *paid* to go on their "public affairs" mission, so in essence they were paying for the privilege to sway politicians and other churches on behalf of a multi-billion dollar corporation.

But on the plus side, they got to eat and drink at those posh dinners that went on the church's tab.

MoLeaders will take as much from you as they (think they) can get away with.

That's Reason #1 Mormonism is a TOTAL MIND FUCK for the unsuspecting Sheeple.

Your sex life is the closest thing they'll have to interesting sex. Why would you want to deprive them?

I was asked how many men, any women? I asked why that mattered? He said it is harder to stop same sex attraction. Not just the bishop in attendance, but several other penishood holders. Ugg the worst event of my life, worse even than when I was attempted raped. Actually felt simaller.

Looks like this is another bullet I dodged. I did stuff, but I never went all the way with anyone. I was too scared to confess, mainly because I didn't want my parents to know. I was lucky also that none of the guys confessed either. Some were mormon. I imagine if they confessed, I would have been called in.

Other bullets I dodged: mission, BYU, temple marriage, tithing. having too many babies, relief society, and visiting teaching. I am one lucky girl.

applesauce