Recovery Board
: RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.
I woke up at 3:30am to a huge epiphany last night triggered by the talk by Bonnie Oscarson last weekend when she was talking about how all the girls from age 8 need to realize Jesus is central to the "faith" and that they also need to understand the temple covenants.
First, 8 year olds don't get to be told the truth about what they are going to be promising in the temple. They are ignorant to the horrific pain that is coming their way when they have to promise their lives, money, children and souls to the LDS church in front of their approving loved ones. They are led to the slaughter.
Let us begin in Primary. No, let's begin in Nursery. In Nursery you are taught about popcorn popping on trees and Little Purple Pansies and you get a treat and get to play with your friends. It was a fun, rather benign time back in the early 70's. There was a story about a man named Jesus and how much he loved us all. Jesus to a child is meant to be the good guy, the soft, caring, loving guy. They make you think that he loves you and only wants what is good for you. He was the guy you turned to when your mom got mad at you. Back then he just loved you...nothing more. Nice guy.
But then when you went to Primary you kept hearing about Jesus and then the songs changed. It was more about how I was a small child had to give HIM something. Suddenly I began to
feel heavier in my heart. There is a song called "I'm Trying to be Like Jesus". The song
goes...
"I'm trying to be like Jesus;
I'm following in his ways.
I'm trying to love as he did,
in all that I do and say."
They were expecting me to change my life to suit his needs. Even back then I knew this was not natural. The beginning of co-dependence.
I was told that if I didn't make Jesus happy he would leave me and be very cross with me and I'd be hurt like the people in the Book of Mormon who didn't love him. They told me I had to be a mother when I grew up, but my mom was not kind to me and I didn't want to be a mother.
It didn't matter. Every Sunday it was the same thing...I had to be like Jesus and love everyone...even my mom who hit me and then I had to grow up and be a mother because I'd love it so much and I'd be so happy, but yet my mom wasn't happy at all.
Age 8 came and I got baptized. Well, I got wet, but nothing else happened. I made a promise to love Jesus, but I had thought he promised to be with me and give me some semblence of a good life. Mom was still hitting me so I never really believed a word of what he said. That was very smart of me looking back.
The Sunday's came and went and I still had to be told about this guy Jesus. I was 9 by now and no matter how hard I tried, I could never get Jesus to talk to me or be with me. Over and over we learned about his supposed life and how great he was and my young mind was just getting sick of the idol worship of this picture of a man with a red robe. He meant nothing to me but I could not get away from the fact I had to hear his name every single meeting and he seemed to be wanting more and more from me. I tried to keep things sane in my mind that he had died for "ME" and it was a gift and I should just be nice to people as a thank you.
No more, no less. But at church they wanted more and more and more.
When I turned 10 I went into Merrie Miss. There I learned that Jesus wanted me to learn how to iron and be a slave to my husband and children. I was to keep the house clean and wash
the dishes so my husband could go to his meetings and serve the church and come home to a clean house. Every activity was bent around this message. Oh yes, and I had to bow to the "Priesthood" because as a woman I was not smart enough to talk to Jesus on my own anymore.
He liked children, not pre teens apparently.
When I turned 12 the message about Jesus changed again. Jesus now wanted me to cover my body, not have sex, serve, serve serve (aka, do everything for free and don't expect to get
paid or else you could leave all this behind. Can't have that) and get ready to be married "In the Temple". That was hammered into all of us. "The Temple". Looked like a nice place. I
still wanted to believe god or Jesus were good things, so I imagined going there was like going into a beautiful hotel and we'd say nice things to Heaven and just experience bliss.
Never could I have ever known the evil, sinister things the church and "Jesus" had in plan for me.
In my teens the messages of "Marriage and Motherhoood" became like a thick molasses dripping off of me. I could never get rid of it enough to get my mind around more important things
like my FUTURE and education and what I wanted for for my life and finances and common sense things. They never mentioned how to take care of children, or how to actually be a wife and
mother, or how to have sex, or sex education. You were just supposed to magically do it because "Jesus" wanted you to. Even then you had no idea what Jesus was going to really want
from you later as no one told you and you were still in High School with your structured 7 to 3:30 life coming home to a heated house and food on the table at 5pm. It was all being
said, but somehow it just could not POSSIBLY be true.
Finally it was Mission/Early Marriage time. You were young, you still had hopes, you still saw a future, you still saw marriage as an equality thing and you'd do it so different than
your parents. YOU would magically be happy when they were not. Remember, "Jesus wanted me to be happy!" I was ready to be happy.
But then out of the blue...the "Temple" happened. The most evil, sinister, soul destroying event in mine or anyone's life. It's when your soul was stolen from you and the chains were
installed,and weldee.
You were in such a pivitable part of life...that bridge from youth to adulthood and you trusted your parents...because they were your parents. You could never EVER had known they
were escorting you to the literal slaughterhouse.
You go in thinking this "nice hotel" was going to be inspiring and cozy...you never imagined you'd come out with your identity stolen and your life hijacked. You were never told you'd get naked, be touched, lose your name and that was only the beginning. You'd be told every single moment you spent on this planet was for the church, not for you or your happiness.
You had to give EVERYTHING you had or would have to the CHURCH. You couldn't laugh heartily, you couldn't speak freely about the leaders of the church, you were threatened with death
should you speak about the masonic handshakes you were given. And worst of all............
You had to agree to sacrifice all YOU had and DIE for Jesus's church and be "like Jesus" to show him you loved him.
There it was. The ultimate Predator betrayal. From a small child he had lied to me. He had told me he loved me, that he'd be there for me (which he never was) and that I'd be safe
because he had died for all the sins of the world and I'd never have to go through that nastiness.......and now...I did. Now he was telling me his sacrifice really was meaningless after all and now I had to experience the same thing. Give my everything to this church. I already knew what that was having grown up with a narcissistic mother and I was not prepared
to battle that war again. Jesus had promised to bring me peace and now he was bringing war into my life.
When the church leaders are telling young girls to understand how Jesus is integral to the faith...they are setting her up for her own death...the death that comes long before the
physical one. The mental one that says..."I'm exhausted, I can't carry these chains of the "Ultimate Expectaion" the church and my parents have for me and kill my "self and my own
natural expectations I have for myself.
The ripping of one's soul and natural thinking process for their own life is a fate worse than death. When a person is not allowed to have their own passion and if they do they have
to be willing to work hard their whole lives and then hand it over to the church in their late years is just soul crushing. To be a woman and to know they expect you to wreck your body and raise multiple children who will turn from you if you dare leave the church because of what YOU forced upon them is the ultimate waste of your decades. To force you to program
your kids in a way that will only benefit the church knowing full well your own kids will be taken to the "slaughter house" and you will be the one to take them because you can't stand
to see them so happy as a non endowed, non "chained" human being and you are, is filthy and the base of human expression.
All because of "Jesus". It's what Jesus wants. He wants the women to be submitted to the men. He wants the women to be married into polygamy and be "received" by the men. He wants
the women to stay home and shoot themselves in the foot financially and every other way while she makes sure her man gets the most education he possibly can and then lands the best
job ever...so good that he can afford to leave her after she's given all of this to him. He demands the women serve and keep the church functioning for free while the men in SLC and the paid employees of the church get paid handsomely.
It's what "Jesus"...the same Jesus that was supposedly there to bring "peace", "comfort" and "life"...wants...or rather demands.
And people wonder why they leave the idea of "gods", Christianity and the like behind entirely when they leave Mormonism. Hmmmm...
And it all started with a Little Purple Pansy.
KEEP YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF THIS FOUL CULT!
TJSFCS..."The Joseph Smith Family Crime Syndicate"
First, 8 year olds don't get to be told the truth about what they are going to be promising in the temple. They are ignorant to the horrific pain that is coming their way when they have to promise their lives, money, children and souls to the LDS church in front of their approving loved ones. They are led to the slaughter.
Let us begin in Primary. No, let's begin in Nursery. In Nursery you are taught about popcorn popping on trees and Little Purple Pansies and you get a treat and get to play with your friends. It was a fun, rather benign time back in the early 70's. There was a story about a man named Jesus and how much he loved us all. Jesus to a child is meant to be the good guy, the soft, caring, loving guy. They make you think that he loves you and only wants what is good for you. He was the guy you turned to when your mom got mad at you. Back then he just loved you...nothing more. Nice guy.
But then when you went to Primary you kept hearing about Jesus and then the songs changed. It was more about how I was a small child had to give HIM something. Suddenly I began to
feel heavier in my heart. There is a song called "I'm Trying to be Like Jesus". The song
goes...
"I'm trying to be like Jesus;
I'm following in his ways.
I'm trying to love as he did,
in all that I do and say."
They were expecting me to change my life to suit his needs. Even back then I knew this was not natural. The beginning of co-dependence.
I was told that if I didn't make Jesus happy he would leave me and be very cross with me and I'd be hurt like the people in the Book of Mormon who didn't love him. They told me I had to be a mother when I grew up, but my mom was not kind to me and I didn't want to be a mother.
It didn't matter. Every Sunday it was the same thing...I had to be like Jesus and love everyone...even my mom who hit me and then I had to grow up and be a mother because I'd love it so much and I'd be so happy, but yet my mom wasn't happy at all.
Age 8 came and I got baptized. Well, I got wet, but nothing else happened. I made a promise to love Jesus, but I had thought he promised to be with me and give me some semblence of a good life. Mom was still hitting me so I never really believed a word of what he said. That was very smart of me looking back.
The Sunday's came and went and I still had to be told about this guy Jesus. I was 9 by now and no matter how hard I tried, I could never get Jesus to talk to me or be with me. Over and over we learned about his supposed life and how great he was and my young mind was just getting sick of the idol worship of this picture of a man with a red robe. He meant nothing to me but I could not get away from the fact I had to hear his name every single meeting and he seemed to be wanting more and more from me. I tried to keep things sane in my mind that he had died for "ME" and it was a gift and I should just be nice to people as a thank you.
No more, no less. But at church they wanted more and more and more.
When I turned 10 I went into Merrie Miss. There I learned that Jesus wanted me to learn how to iron and be a slave to my husband and children. I was to keep the house clean and wash
the dishes so my husband could go to his meetings and serve the church and come home to a clean house. Every activity was bent around this message. Oh yes, and I had to bow to the "Priesthood" because as a woman I was not smart enough to talk to Jesus on my own anymore.
He liked children, not pre teens apparently.
When I turned 12 the message about Jesus changed again. Jesus now wanted me to cover my body, not have sex, serve, serve serve (aka, do everything for free and don't expect to get
paid or else you could leave all this behind. Can't have that) and get ready to be married "In the Temple". That was hammered into all of us. "The Temple". Looked like a nice place. I
still wanted to believe god or Jesus were good things, so I imagined going there was like going into a beautiful hotel and we'd say nice things to Heaven and just experience bliss.
Never could I have ever known the evil, sinister things the church and "Jesus" had in plan for me.
In my teens the messages of "Marriage and Motherhoood" became like a thick molasses dripping off of me. I could never get rid of it enough to get my mind around more important things
like my FUTURE and education and what I wanted for for my life and finances and common sense things. They never mentioned how to take care of children, or how to actually be a wife and
mother, or how to have sex, or sex education. You were just supposed to magically do it because "Jesus" wanted you to. Even then you had no idea what Jesus was going to really want
from you later as no one told you and you were still in High School with your structured 7 to 3:30 life coming home to a heated house and food on the table at 5pm. It was all being
said, but somehow it just could not POSSIBLY be true.
Finally it was Mission/Early Marriage time. You were young, you still had hopes, you still saw a future, you still saw marriage as an equality thing and you'd do it so different than
your parents. YOU would magically be happy when they were not. Remember, "Jesus wanted me to be happy!" I was ready to be happy.
But then out of the blue...the "Temple" happened. The most evil, sinister, soul destroying event in mine or anyone's life. It's when your soul was stolen from you and the chains were
installed,and weldee.
You were in such a pivitable part of life...that bridge from youth to adulthood and you trusted your parents...because they were your parents. You could never EVER had known they
were escorting you to the literal slaughterhouse.
You go in thinking this "nice hotel" was going to be inspiring and cozy...you never imagined you'd come out with your identity stolen and your life hijacked. You were never told you'd get naked, be touched, lose your name and that was only the beginning. You'd be told every single moment you spent on this planet was for the church, not for you or your happiness.
You had to give EVERYTHING you had or would have to the CHURCH. You couldn't laugh heartily, you couldn't speak freely about the leaders of the church, you were threatened with death
should you speak about the masonic handshakes you were given. And worst of all............
You had to agree to sacrifice all YOU had and DIE for Jesus's church and be "like Jesus" to show him you loved him.
There it was. The ultimate Predator betrayal. From a small child he had lied to me. He had told me he loved me, that he'd be there for me (which he never was) and that I'd be safe
because he had died for all the sins of the world and I'd never have to go through that nastiness.......and now...I did. Now he was telling me his sacrifice really was meaningless after all and now I had to experience the same thing. Give my everything to this church. I already knew what that was having grown up with a narcissistic mother and I was not prepared
to battle that war again. Jesus had promised to bring me peace and now he was bringing war into my life.
When the church leaders are telling young girls to understand how Jesus is integral to the faith...they are setting her up for her own death...the death that comes long before the
physical one. The mental one that says..."I'm exhausted, I can't carry these chains of the "Ultimate Expectaion" the church and my parents have for me and kill my "self and my own
natural expectations I have for myself.
The ripping of one's soul and natural thinking process for their own life is a fate worse than death. When a person is not allowed to have their own passion and if they do they have
to be willing to work hard their whole lives and then hand it over to the church in their late years is just soul crushing. To be a woman and to know they expect you to wreck your body and raise multiple children who will turn from you if you dare leave the church because of what YOU forced upon them is the ultimate waste of your decades. To force you to program
your kids in a way that will only benefit the church knowing full well your own kids will be taken to the "slaughter house" and you will be the one to take them because you can't stand
to see them so happy as a non endowed, non "chained" human being and you are, is filthy and the base of human expression.
All because of "Jesus". It's what Jesus wants. He wants the women to be submitted to the men. He wants the women to be married into polygamy and be "received" by the men. He wants
the women to stay home and shoot themselves in the foot financially and every other way while she makes sure her man gets the most education he possibly can and then lands the best
job ever...so good that he can afford to leave her after she's given all of this to him. He demands the women serve and keep the church functioning for free while the men in SLC and the paid employees of the church get paid handsomely.
It's what "Jesus"...the same Jesus that was supposedly there to bring "peace", "comfort" and "life"...wants...or rather demands.
And people wonder why they leave the idea of "gods", Christianity and the like behind entirely when they leave Mormonism. Hmmmm...
And it all started with a Little Purple Pansy.
KEEP YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF THIS FOUL CULT!
TJSFCS..."The Joseph Smith Family Crime Syndicate"
The cult loves you.
Work for the cult.
Give all to the cult.
Die for the cult.
Be happy.
Work for the cult.
Give all to the cult.
Die for the cult.
Be happy.
great commentary
I agree, great commentary.
My first thought when I experienced the temple weirdness:
"What happened to the 'jesus wants me for a sunbeam' church I thought I grew up in?"
My first thought when I experienced the temple weirdness:
"What happened to the 'jesus wants me for a sunbeam' church I thought I grew up in?"
+1000
Well done.
The secret ceremony that was cleverly written to strip and rip 'personness' out of those who naively and trustingly enter its doors. Take away your clothing, your name, your individual identity while also telling you the silly clown costume is heaven's classy style and that handshakes and pay, lay, ale are the new form of speaking plus squealling about the temple weirdness will get your throat cut, and most any normal person will wonder and say to themselves,
"What the fuck just happened here?"
The secret ceremony that was cleverly written to strip and rip 'personness' out of those who naively and trustingly enter its doors. Take away your clothing, your name, your individual identity while also telling you the silly clown costume is heaven's classy style and that handshakes and pay, lay, ale are the new form of speaking plus squealling about the temple weirdness will get your throat cut, and most any normal person will wonder and say to themselves,
"What the fuck just happened here?"
So do you think it is any different for a young Catholic, Methodist or Baptist child when they are taught about Jesus?
Yes. I do.
And that is precisely the point. They have highjacked the name of Christ and perverted his gospel for their own, hideous version of "Truth" which, rather than freeing people, puts them in chains and enslaves them.
And that is precisely the point. They have highjacked the name of Christ and perverted his gospel for their own, hideous version of "Truth" which, rather than freeing people, puts them in chains and enslaves them.
And at the risk of annoying people with a point I belabor, LDS and other cults poison appreciation of and spiritual wonder about Christ with its toxic Phariseeism and contrived doctrine.
Oh, Lori C. That literally made me cry. I was right there with you every step of the way as you so perfectly described the first 46 years of my life.
And now I'm scared shitless that you're describing my beautiful granddaughter's life. I have very little contact with her. Her parents divorced (my son is now exmo) and DIL moved across the country to her TBM parents' world. They have a gratuitous amount of influence on granddaughter. She sleeps over every Saturday night so she can go to church and spend all day Sunday with grandparents (fine with her mommy who can then stay in bed all day).
And airhead TBM grandmother will never see that HER daughter (granddaughter's mother) is fucked up because of being raised in TJSFCS. No, she's doubled down. She'll make SURE granddaughter doesn't stray in high school, that she follows the mormon woman path and ends up as dumb and dependent as future-goddess grandmother. My only hope is that my son can have some influence on her and that she will always know she has a family who cares about her for what she is and can become. Not what she can give to a cult that will do nothing but use her.
And now I'm scared shitless that you're describing my beautiful granddaughter's life. I have very little contact with her. Her parents divorced (my son is now exmo) and DIL moved across the country to her TBM parents' world. They have a gratuitous amount of influence on granddaughter. She sleeps over every Saturday night so she can go to church and spend all day Sunday with grandparents (fine with her mommy who can then stay in bed all day).
And airhead TBM grandmother will never see that HER daughter (granddaughter's mother) is fucked up because of being raised in TJSFCS. No, she's doubled down. She'll make SURE granddaughter doesn't stray in high school, that she follows the mormon woman path and ends up as dumb and dependent as future-goddess grandmother. My only hope is that my son can have some influence on her and that she will always know she has a family who cares about her for what she is and can become. Not what she can give to a cult that will do nothing but use her.