TBM DH ordered a Long Island Iced Tea with dinner at the most posh restaurant in town! Apostate daughter and I were with him. I don't think he was overly impressed with it, but he finished it. That's the first time I have seen him drink alcohol, and we have been married for nearly 25 years.

I think part of his restraint has been the WoW, but also, he grew up with a non-member father who was a TERRIBLE alcoholic, and he grew up with that dreadful example. I think he has also been afraid that he would LIKE alcohol too much, and wind up like his father. Based on tonight's experience, I don't think that will be a problem. It was more like checking something else off a "To Do at Least Once in Your Life" list.

He sipped a little bit at a time throughout the meal, and said that he didn't notice feeling any different when supper was over.

If nothing else, I think this shows that the church is losing its choke-hold on him, and that is worth celebrating. Woo-hoo!!

Experience is the best teacher, or so they say. Maybe he just had to find out for himself.
He's willing to experiment. That's OK.

bucket list : drink alcoholic beverage



pathetic

The conditioning of the church has been such a stranglehold on an intelligent, decent guy.

Little by little, over the years, he has learned that God won't strike you dead for watching an R-rated movie, failing to attend church every week, choosing to attend other churches to learn about how they see things, failing to pay tithing, etc.

It had been drummed into his head (as it was into ours) that he was not free to choose for himself. He has been learning, gradually, that he was lied to. It hurt him to realize that the church he had believed in all his life was a manipulative sham.

Do you make fun of a baby who is just learning to toddle? I hope not. For a person who has been a lifelong believer in the Mormon church, choosing to take small but deliberate steps away from what he has been taught is hugely significant. Please don't mock progress.

We support you and even a pathetic step is thrilling when it's your family.

So happy for you!


Kathleen

Awe.some.sauce !!!

That's promising, to be sure. The fear, on multiple levels is losing its chokehold. Experience indeed is the best teacher. Keep us posted on further developments. :)

There used to be a non-alcoholic soda version of Long Island Iced Tea.
It was the greatest drink I ever tasted.
I cant find it anymore and have never tried the alcoholic version [I think I would consider it a pale imitation of the delicious soda]

Not sure what was in that LIIT, but it usually has somewhere between 3 and 6 ounces liquor. An inexperienced drinker should feel something, even if it is sipped over a 2 hour dinner. Maybe a Utah version with minimal alcohol? At any rate, it seems the important thing is he is learning that people don't become raging anti-social from one drink. There is no thunder or striking dead from above.

"He sipped a little bit at a time throughout the meal, and said that he didn't notice feeling any different when supper was over."

Was this in Utah? A real Long Island has 5 different alcoholic shots in it. (about 3.5-4.5 oz. of booze) Utah laws limit it to 1.5 oz alcohol. Utah Long Islands are all tea & sugar with very little alcohol.

Daughter and I are both "experienced" drinkers. We were very careful to see that he took a sip, ate a few bites of dinner, took another sip, maybe a drink of water, then more dinner, etc.

And DH is a big guy. I think maybe his absorption rate was better than mine. (I felt a tiny buzz after my Margarita, but nothing unusual.)

DD and I both tasted the LIIT, and it didn't taste like anything that could knock down the Empire State Building. . .

I don't care whether he tastes alcohol again, ever. At least, now he knows that IT IS HIS CHOICE! THAT was the whole point.

Good for him. I still haven't tried drinking away from home myself. Mostly because I have no idea how much is too much for me at this point, and I'm almost always driving or riding the motorbike, so getting myself impaired just isn't a good idea.

Semi-related to this: my TBM wife has been talking about drinking quite a bit lately. We both tried wine and a sip of beer together a couple of years ago, but she hasn't tried anything since then. Then again, she also didn't lose her mind when I showed her the few things I had in the back of the fridge either. Heck, she even asked if I would get her some champagne, so there is at least a glimmer of hope.

Long Island Ice Tea has Tequila, Gin, Vodka, Rum, Triple Sec, and a splash of Cola. They sneak up on you if you drink them to fast. The food would help absorb the alcohol. You would notice a difference without the food. One of my favorite drinks.

She knew exactly what was in that drink. I think she may have slipped the word to the server that her Dad was a first-timer, and told the bartender to pour with a light hand.

Yeah, a LIIT is not typically a beginner's drink. It packs a powerful punch.

It must be nice to see your DH loosening up, Catnip.

The good news is that he wasn't immediately struck dead or punished in any way by Dog.

That alone can be a huge lightbulb moment for some.