In April I thought that my husband had had a mild stroke. For the first week after noticing that he sometimes would forget a word, or two, there wasn't much change. I tried pretty much every day to get him to go to the hospital, but he refused. The following two weeks his symptoms worsened at an alarming rate, but he still would not let me take him to the hospital.



Finally, on May 1st he let me take him in, and it was then that my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was 3 weeks from the time that I first noticed the symptoms to the time that he allowed me to take him to the hospital.



After his diagnosis, I learned that he had another earlier symptom that (at the time) I didn't realize was a symptom: A couple of months before his "stroke-like" symptoms, I noticed that he had stopped wearing his glasses. When I asked him why he wasn't wearing his glasses, he told me that they weren't working for him any more. I assumed that he just needed to get some new glasses because it had been several years since he'd gotten his current pair, so I told him to make an appointment to have his eyes checked. He never did.



If there were any other symptoms that he was aware of before that time, he never let me know about them.



He had brain surgery on May 5th, and was in the hospital recovering & getting physical therapy for a few weeks, and then we brought him home. He seemed to improve a little for a few more weeks, but then after a rapid decline, he passed away on July 13th. Just 2 days after our 35th anniversary.



In the meantime, my mom (who had been fighting cancer for 4 years) passed away on June 30th. I had planned to come visit her in May, knowing that she would be gone soon... had in fact purchased a plane ticket before I realized that my husband was ill. When I realized that there was something wrong with my husband, I told my mom that I would have to cancel - knowing that I would never see her again. She understood.



Two of the most important people in my life were gone in less than two weeks of each other. It is astounding to me that the sun is able to keep rising, day after day; how (aside from my own sadness) life seems so ordinary. I continue to work, try to pay the bills, and miss him terribly. I wish I could talk to him again. I wish I could talk to my mom again, too.

I feel so much for you, and for what you are going through...

I am so sorry.

My heartfelt condolences for you!! (((((Hugs))))

Wow! Condolences to you at this time in your life. We are here for you. :)

It's rewarding and sobering to realize you have the strength to carry on and grieve on your own, without having to pray for the strength you already possess. :)

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

My friend lost her husband and mother within one week and it was devastating. She was with her ailing mother when her husband passed.

Choices in life can be difficult, especially when the choice is between two people we love. I'm sure your mother understood and loved you for your dedication to your husband.

My friend goes often to talk to both her mother and husband at their grave sites. She said it comforts her in many ways she can't explain. She has no regrets for her choice although it was extremely heartbreaking.

This is a difficult change and challenge for you and I hope you take time for yourself to grieve, heal, and remember the good times with your loved ones.

Our thoughts are with you.

((((Fanallygetsit)))
I'm so sorry for your losses. Please come here and share with us anytime you need to vent. We'll be here for you.

Please don't do a number on yourself by thinking "What if. . ." or "If I had only. . ." Sometimes we have a tendency to do that.

Comfort yourself by knowing (as I'm sure they know) that you cherished them with your whole heart.

(((HUGS)))

I'm very sorry to hear your news. That's a lot to go through at once. *HUGS*

Oh, Finally, I am so sorry.
Please accept my deepest sympathy.

I am SO sorry. Please take wonderful care of YOU!!!

I'm so sorry. Time is your friend, and will help to soften the edges of your pain.

I'm so sorry for the devastating losses you have encountered. Sending good thoughts and hugs your way. -ed

I am so sorry for your devastating losses. Sometimes things can go horribly wrong at the same time and it seems too much to bear.

My husband also died from a brain tumor. He had a glioblastoma. They come on rather suddenly and are very aggressive and always fatal. Once you have one, it doesn't matter how early you find it or how aggressively you treat it, it won't stay away. In all likelihood, you would have suffered the same outcome even if it had been found earlier.

Let yourself grieve any way you need to. I found grief counseling to be very helpful. But the pain is there. The loss is profound. Time will help you learn to live with it. Just take one minute at a time. There will be advances and setbacks in your grieving. But overall, you will be able to be happy again, even if it doesn't seem like it now.

I am so sorry!

I also had a brain tumor, but thankfully, I survived.

I've attended brain tumor conferences and have met many brave sufferers and their families.

Thank you for your comments. Take care.

Can I talk to you off-line privately sometime, Cheryl? I could use a good success story these days. My son is having awake brain surgery on Oct. 24 to remove or partially remove a tumor that they believe he's had for 12-15 years.

Hi Cheryl,

Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through having a brain tumor, but so happy you survived! That must've been a very hard battle. You are a rock star to pull through. I'm assuming yours was a type other than glioblastoma, which I don't think I'd ever heard of before my husband was diagnosed. But I am close to 2 people right now who are very close to closing loved ones to this same type of brain tumor. So scary!

So sorry for your losses. Hang in there.

I am so sorry. You have suffered a significant loss. Please do not be hard on yourself. We witnessed a young neighbor pass away from a brain tumor. Early detection made no difference. You did all you could by being a loving wife. It is obvious from your words. You were happy together. You are in our thoughts.

It's profoundly sad to lose a close loved one and the emptiness that is left behind will soften but never go away. Thank you for sharing, I understand your loss.

I can't imagine the pain you must be suffering. Be as good to yourself as your husband and your mother would have wanted for you. And come back as often as you need to talk about them.

Very sorry for your loss.

RB

I am very sorry for this loss, and for your having to endure two back-to-back tragedies. I'm particularly sensitive to the brain tumor issue, because my son will go in for brain surgery in just a couple of weeks to remove a tumor. He also did the whole denial thing as your late husband did. I guess when you really suspect that something is wrong, it's hard to admit it. Best to you and your family.

mt

My heart hurts for you. My thoughts are with you. I love you! We all do.

I, too, am so very sorry for your loss.

Doesn't it just suck that the world goes on, the sun rises and sets, the nightly news appears on the TV, kids play at recess, trucks go down the highway....yet your world is shattered. So many others do not stop to appreciate that you are hurting, that your world is a fraction of what it used to be.

Time will help lessen the pain.

Grief support can be critical for many (ask your local Hospice for details on when they meet).

I am a widow who list my husband 3 1/2 years ago, then lost my brother 11 months later then lost my sister 1 1/2 years later. Yes, it's difficult to carry on, with so much loss. I had a breather in between, you did not.
All I can say, is that, in my case, it does get easier as time goes on. It's a hard adjustment to your New Normal, but I found a lot of support which helped.
I find myself having a conversation with my husband as we were married for over 50 years. I like to think he hears me and that is very comforting.
Hang in there. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and give yourself time to grieve.
Find a grief therapy group if you think that will help you.

I hated when Mormons would say "the lord won't give you more than you can handle". You've got too much on your plate right now. I hope that we here with our words can do just a wee bit to lessen your burden.

RB

I am so sorry to hear of your losses. That is so much to have happen in such a short time. And yes, it seems weird that everyone else just goes about their business like nothing has happened when your world has turned upside down.

All I can do is send you my loving thoughts and hope for a future that will, with time, get easier and more meaningful. I know you've figured out that all you can do right now is keep getting up if the sun does. If anyone expects more out of you, ignore them. Come here and talk. Take care of yourself and I hope you find more people to talk to and share with.

comfort to be had in the face of such tragedy. A table mate just said aloud: " surround yourself in the living as you honor your dead. Never forget."

finallygetsit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wish I could talk to him again. I wish I could
> talk to my mom again, too.

Funny how this is the most repeated wish for the ones we have loved and lost to death.

It is something I take for granted daily.

Here's to hoping that that sun will rise on happier days for you.

Isn't that one of the most bizarre sensations? It's like your world has ground to a halt- and yet the steady pace of others goes on around you - they're oblivious to the time warp. And the rest of it all seems rather superfluous and mundane - almost surreal.
offering you a great big virtual hug, hoping it helps in small measure to alleviate a small portion of the void.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Oh I'm so very very sorry.

Please accept my condolences for both your losses.

What a hard hard time it is for you.