The recent missionary thread and 'did you date a non-member' threads got me thinking about this...

I was a non-member who fell in love with a boy preparing to go on his mission. While on his mission, I fell in love with his family, hung out with them, went to church often with them, took missionary discussions, etc....

We had always agreed to see each other upon his return no matter what. I 'waited' for him for about a year, then dated someone else for 6 months. That was over before my missionary came home.

He was on a foreign mission. Seemed really out of it when he came home. I attributed it to culture shock and being in the real world again after 2 years. He said he was falling in love with me again but he needed some space to readjust. I thought I was being a great girlfriend by giving him that. Next thing I knew, 3 weeks later, he was dating a BIC girl and he married her a few months later. (I got baptized in between this time hoping to keep him- bad move!)

Anyhow, to wrap this up, I am interested in hearing from RM's as to what your state of mind was when you came home. Just seriously brainwashed? A hard time readusting to post mission life? At the time, I felt fairly certain we would have been married if he had not gone on a mission.

Would love to hear your stories. (this was over 20 years ago, but has just gotten me thinking..)

Reading my journal after my mission I have come to the conclusion that I was brainwashed. All the language was about a fight against satan and how I shared a book of mormon to so and so. I went to an eastern college with dark, cold winters. In retrospect -- it wasn't satan -- it was depression combined with despair that I wouldn't find the "the one". I never want to go through that hell again. Ps: part of it was that I was an immature 20 year old.

I was one that had a blast on my mission (Netherlands). It was a hoot. When I came home, I wanted to go back to school, find a brood mare, marry her, hump her bow-legged and go to the CelTesticle Kingdom.

There was no adjustment. I just came home, went to the "Zoo" and got on with it.

Ron

Looking back and trying to be honest here. There were a lot of girls I treated poorly and I wish I had a giant "do over".

I think some of my problem was indeed because of my mission. 18 months of the constant MindF$%@ was too much for me to deal with. I was arrogant but at the same time a shell shocked little boy who was completely unprepared to deal with the real world.

Who knows, maybe growing up is just a tough thing to get through but it sure seems to me like I would have been much better of in school or working than wasting the time on the mission.

Stunted.

The first week after I got home I just sat on my bed dressed in a suit and tie trying to figure out how I could possibly cope with being home. I refused to listen to music, watch TV, or read anything other than my scriptures. I finally snapped out of it when I ended up at the church one night and shot some hoops with some kids in the Ward.

There was a girl who had "waited" for me although I didn't know it. He family was sure that I was the one and had prepared her for our marriage. We went on a date and the pressure from her family was so strong that I never went out with her again. She hates me still today 20+ years later.

I got a job a few weeks after I got home which gave me some spending money and I started attending college courses. A buddy of mine joined the Army National Guard and talked me into joining with him so the next day I went down and signed up. It wasn't until I was back from Basic Training that I finally was over the mission mind-f**k, 9 months after I got home. Basic Training helped me realize what a brain washing experience the MTC really is.