Or at least one crazy Mormon woman thinks:
https://alainachatterley.com/2016/08/22/understanding-why-the-chastity-talk-you-wish-you-were-having/

What a bunch of pseudoscientific non-sense. Yes, our brains are wired to appreciate both sugar and sex. That doesn't mean we forget or are incapable of experiencing foods with less sugar or romantic moments.

Balance is the key to life--both with diets and relationships. You don't need to boycott sugar and sex for "protection". Just remember to keep it balanced. This woman is asking the right question (why), but she's clueless to the fact that her explanation is essentially identical to the one she wishes to avoid (just do it, it's for our protection, etc).

With regard to vegetables, as I have said to many people many times, if there's a loving God, explain the existence of the Brussels Sprout. :-)

to go with the Brussels sprout. You just have to study the scriptures and learn how God wants you to eat it (sautéed in bacon grease with crispies on the side.)

Its been bothering me all day.

A chef friend served some roasted Brussels sprouts as part of a little dinner he whipped up out of almost nothing. As part of my new vow to try everything, I had some of the sprouts. Amazingly delicious. I had seconds.

However, if there's a loving God, explain kale.

<<...and emotional damage that always come from sharing physical intimacies with someone outside of marriage.>>

Oh bullsh!t. Good old fashioned fornication doesn't always lead to emotional damage. Besides, if ChurchCo was really concerned about emotional damage they wouldn't do the evil, manipulative, guilt-inducing, shaming things they do.

When I was a TBM, I was terrified of sex outside marriage. Felt like I would be tormented by guilt and eventually burn in hell.

My long marriage ended and so did my believe in the morg. In the last few years I've been with so many women in that, ahem, intimate way. Black, Latina, Asian, every kind you can imagine. It is amazing how I have felt no guilt or shame....heck, I didn't even know a few of these women long before hitting the sack and STILL don't feel the guilt that the church wanted me to. Two consenting adults is as good as it gets!

Brussel sprouts are manna from heaven. Only "special" people get them. ;)


I LOVE brussel sprouts - tiny little sweet cabbages. Nix straight sweeteners - sugars and fake - from your diet, and your yongue tells a completely different story to your brain.

Junebuggy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nix straight sweeteners - sugars and
> fake - from your diet, and your yongue tells a
> completely different story to your brain.


Yes, instead of saying, "Mmmmmmmmmm, yes, so happy," it screams, "DON'T GIVE ME THIS WEAK-ASS STUFF! WHERE'S MY REAL SUGAR?!?!?!?"

;)

:) I almost choked on my kale!


On a more serious note, if there's a loving god, why doesn't STEAK grow on a tree? Noooooooo, I have to kill Betsy or Bambi or some damn thing.

For some reason I'm thinking about zucchini now

6 iron Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For some reason I'm thinking about zucchini now

It was a lazy July weekend when a Mormon friend came to visit
here in Utah. We went to Walmart. He asked, "should I lock
the car doors?"

I said, "Nah, we're in Utah."

That night we went to a movie. He asked, "should I lock the
car doors?"

"Nah," I said, "we're in Utah."

The next morning was Sunday. We went to the three hour block
meeting and, after we got out of the car I carefully locked all
the car doors. "Why are you doing that?" he asked.

I said, "If you don't lock your car doors, when you come back
after the meeting is over you find it full of zucchini."

That joke is only funny if you've planted zucchini or had neighbors or family who planted it.

...to make a thick, hearty soup out of it. When I was on my mission in Australia, a member who was a Belgian lady fed us that. It was one of the best things I'd ever eaten. I guess you could call it a bisque. When my wife and I got married, I told her about it, and she experimented with it until she got it right. She makes a chowder-like base with milk, flour, onion, butter, cheddar cheese, and seasonings, and adds the shredded zucchini. Whenever somebody's sick, she makes it for them, and everybody raves about it.

Of course, zucchini sauteed with squash and onions is good too, or make zucchini bread.

I also like brussels sprouts just fine, as long as they have salt and butter on them and aren't overcooked.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/2016 06:47PM by randyj.

randyj Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...to make a thick, hearty soup out of it. When I
> was on my mission in Australia, a member who was a
> Belgian lady fed us that. It was one of the best
> things I'd ever eaten. I guess you could call it
> a bisque. When my wife and I got married, I told
> her about it, and she experimented with it until
> she got it right. She makes a chowder-like base
> with milk, flour, onion, butter, cheddar cheese,
> and seasonings, and adds the shredded zucchini.
> Whenever somebody's sick, she makes it for them,
> and everybody raves about it.
>
> Of course, zucchini sauteed with squash and onions
> is good too, or make zucchini bread.
>
> I also like brussels sprouts just fine, as long as
> they have salt and butter on them and aren't
> overcooked.

randyj, I would love your wife's recipe. Could you post it. please?

"randyj, I would love your wife's recipe. Could you post it. please?"

Margie, I asked her about it last night, and she told me that she doesn't have a written recipe. She told me how she makes it, so I'll repeat it the best I can remember. You shred your zucchini with a grater. Chop up an onion and sautee it in butter. When the onion begins to turn yellow, add the zucchini and sautee them together for a few more minutes.

You make a chowder like one you'd make for corn chowder or potato soup: chicken broth, milk, flour, and seasonings. Add the zucchini and onions and simmer it until satisfactory. Add grated cheddar if you like. You may have to experiment a few times until you get it like you want it, but my wife's is delicious and is a very good use of zucchini. It's a great autumn meal. I suppose that you could do the same thing with pumpkin, butternut squash, or similar veggies.

6 iron Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For some reason I'm thinking about zucchini now



Because of it's phallic shape? ;)

That makes no sense whatsoever. This is closer to the truth: "Sex is like chocolate. Chastity is like no chocolate."

(Chastity being the Mormon code word for 'abstinence'.)

I couldn't get past the pineapple. Pineapple is great. Not as great as sex. But great. Better than grapes. And eating chocolate after eating sweet fruit? Yuck.

Wait. What were we talking about?


P.S. Why doesn't the BoM mention cacao or chocolate?

Consuming pineapple (juice) can make sex great...the oral variety that is ;)

Does the article contain any references to licking the icing
from a cupcake?

Heh heh, and chocolate is SO fattening. SO IS sex to those of us females in tscc. We swelled up regularly afterwards to make all those nice new little mormons for the morg.

SIGH!!!!

Too bad a chocolate fountain wasn't used as one of her sex props. How yummy would that have been drizzled on the pineapple. Or maybe it would have confused those young girls, but I think this teacher did that anyway. Most can eat veggies and cake and think nothing of it.

god said not to hide your candle under a bushel. That sounds dirty to me for some reason.

"god said not to hide your candle under a bushel. That sounds dirty to me for some reason."

Or at the least, against fire codes.

Candles should be pushed into cupcakes, not placed under bushels.

*sigh*

First, lick the cupcake, then push in the candle.

Then inject creme filling. Sheesh, so many steps.

Her biggest fear was that she'd have to see her bishop, or that she'd be damaged somehow. ...I wonder where she could've gotten that idea.

Also, she says neither is true... I may or may not have been sent to the bishop's office for less.

Pardon my French, but...

That author needs a good fuck.
Not sanctified sex with garments on with a priesthood-holder, a good old fashioned lusty fuck.

Maybe after that, she could write a realistic article.

I find it mildly amusing to tell these kind of people that.....it becomes not so amusing when they throw their BoMs at you

Princess Telestia Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I find it mildly amusing to tell these kind of
> people that.....it becomes not so amusing when
> they throw their BoMs at you

Do they throw it before or after the fucking?
I mean, you know, is it foreplay, or...? ;-)

I wish! I've always thought I could be the person to help these poor souls realize they desire the bisexual awesomeness that is me. They get offended by my offering them hope...their loss.

Candy may be dandy, but sex don't rot your teeth.

So I would differ with the TSCC sex fiend who finds chocolate as intimate as "that."

There is no substitute for either IMO. Nada. Nicht.

girl can always use the right veggie for...you know. :)

Diet = chastity belt.

Hey, guess what? There are other ways to "protect" our children besides the Mormon law of chastity (i.e., denying the fact that we are sexual beings). How about teaching the law of responsibility and making good choices? What about teaching them why the sexual urges are so strong (an easy biology/evolution lesson) and how we be responsible when we're trying to navigate those waters. I blew it with all my kids. If I had a do-over I'd teach responsibility instead of the stupid chastity thing.

Teach our daughters to know the difference between someone who truly cares about them and someone just needing to get their rocks off. And I'm not talking about non-Mormon boys wanting pre-marital sex. I'm talking about Mormon RMs who just can't deal with the celibacy anymore or the guilt of satisfying those urges in an easy way by themselves. No--just find someone with a vagina, get hooked, have sex and then figure out a few years later whether you're compatible cause we just can't take a few years beforehand to do that. You know. Chastity.

Coat with olive oil. Throw into flat baking pan e.g. cookie pan. Salt to taste. Bake about 30 minutes at about 400-450 deg F.

You can add in some fresh garlic cloves or parsnip to balance the sprouts.

That's the cooking! The theology is left as an exercise for the reader. You will gain a new belief in Brussels sprouts.


**
As long as I am on a culinary rant chuck the chocolate and go for raw, primitve, sexy cacao. It tastes better than chocolate and is better for you than vegetables! Yes you can enjoy it with Brussels sprouts. It's all good and you have been blessed whichever path you take, or better yet both.

:-)