A very ambiguous one, that is. I've had to change my screen name several times over the past 3 years, so I doubt anyone knows who I am. Anyway, I have been slowly working on myself, and have made a lot of progress in some areas. It's a long road up to happy when you've hit rock bottom. I can now look to the future and see a way forward for me to be truly happy for the first time in my life.

Thanks for helping me on the way up.

invictus

Based on my threads we've had recently, I first want to congratulate you and then tell you that 'happy' is rarely a fixed target, just waiting you to find the correct path.

According to a 'documentary on TV' (could there be a more prestigious thing?!) The Happiest Person in the Entire World" was a cab driver in some mid-sized city in India, who didn't own his cab, lived in a home with dirt floors and didn't know what a vacation was, much less sick pay or retirement.

The show "blah-blah'ed" about happiness being, more than anything else, attitude.

So I just don't want you to think there are certain standards you must meet in order to be worthy of happiness.

You make a good point there.

When I was in high school I used to think: if only I had nice designer clothes, I'd be happy. (I wore clothes from Goodwill whereas my mom spent hundreds of dollars on my brother's wardrobe)

When I was in college I used to think: if only I had a cell phone and a car, I'd be happy. (I was lonely and isolated as a minority at BYU)

Now that I'm older and wiser, I understand the shallowness of material possessions, and I've also been through a lot, I'll just say. Depression, anxiety, panic, and self-loathing. But I am still transitioning out of my former life as a Mormon. Do animals and people who know nothing but suffering, do they not realize they suffer because that's all they've known? No. Pain is pain.

Just like I knew when I hit rock bottom, I'll know when I am happy overall.

I'll be the judge of that.

invictus

Thanks for the update, invictus...

I've thought of you often...and it is good to know that you're on the road to where you want to be.

Grease to your elbows!!!

[It's a West African saying, meaning pretty much: "You go, girl!!!"]

:) :) :)