Date: July 30, 2016 11:12PM
I used to post here a lot. When I was leaving, it was helpful to talk to others who were in the same place, or had been.
I got to a point where Mormonism seemed to be in the past, not the present in my life. At that point, this board didn't serve the same purpose for me anymore. I found other ways to kill time, where before it wasn't killing time, it was figuring things out. Then I got divorced. Not related to leaving Mormonism, but I would have divorced sooner had I not been Mormon.
So the place I'm at now? Now I pretend that I never was Mormon. It makes me feel so shameful and gullible. So as I live in a new place where nobody knew me, I just pretend it never happened. When office mates talk about how crazy Mormons are and I sound too knowledgeable, I truthfully tell them that I got a Masters Degree at the University of Utah. One thing that I found by hiding my roots, is that when you say you had been been a former Mormon, people still diss on it, but they are more careful about what they say. When they don't know, they let the full force of their thoughts out freely. People really think Mormons are crazy!
I have a wonderful atheist girlfriend. We have guilt free sex, drinks in fun music clubs, and plan to be together for ever, though not married. I never told my family I left. Though I’m sure that they have figured it out. I think that they have pretty much put me out of their lives. When I post on fb, family never comments or “likes” what I post, even though it is never about mormons. I think that I’m probably an evil guy who will drag them down to hell. So I must be avoided, even on the internet. When I asked the one brother who did know I was out if the family knew, he said, “I’m pretty sure that that fb post let them all know.” When I asked what? Because I don’t post Mormon stuff, it was a comment on a cousin’s posting that smoothed over Mormon history of racism. I posted one post that was just a modern prophet’s quote. No personal opinions, just a prophet’s quote. But to a Mormon, that was enough to probably tell them all I was out. So it’s kind of a bummer to be on the outside of your own family and dangerous. I’ve been working on that brother to leave. I’ve made some progress, so I suppose that I am dangerous.I haven't seen family in person since I left. Next funeral I suppose I will.
So Mormonism doesn’t really weigh me down anymore. It is a thing way in the past now. I’m not surrounded by any Mormons at all, and I can just act like it was never part of my world. I have tons of regrets. My life was really harmed by Mormonism. I really wish I could go back and live it over again as a normal person. But my life now is at its peak. The best it’s ever been. There is life after Mormonism.
So this is just an update on where I’ve been. I still won’t be posting. I just came back because I did a google search on a Mormon con man, and the first google hit was for this site. I didn’t even put the word Mormon in. Just the guy’s name. So I thought that I’d drop in and mention where my life is at now, in case anyone who is still in the middle of the turmoil of leaving wants to know what might be over the horizon. It was a very helpful site when I was leaving. But I feel long gone now. Another lifetime. Though it was only 7 years ago that I stopped going to church. Keep doing the good work for those who are in the trauma stage of leaving.