More than a little ranty. TL;don't wanna R: TBM Bro gaslight convo drove me nuts. Why am I the crazy one for distrusting liars?

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My recent RM brother was trapped with me in a van for a the last leg of a cross-country move all day yesterday. My having issues with horrifying leadership behavior and historical cover ups was discussed and dismissed. I was respectfully told
1. that one must take the issues and shelve them. He actually quoted that talk.
2.That because I wasn't there I can't judge what past leaders did, even by their own journals, testimonies, or sworn affidavits.
3. That I believed once and should believe again.
4. That I can believe what I want, and he what he wants, but "[he has] spoken to God" and knows he's right, and that I've done the same and know it's true.
5. There is not a connection to (the real, or core of?) The church/gospel and chastity parables, harmful self-image, anti-gay cruelty, or any other unholy/impure practise.
6. That sympathizing with gays and their rights to marriage is totally okay, just, an absolutely not "sympathizing with [a] group whose teachings are contrary to the church..." (actually sent to bishop for this comment)
7. I should pray to know if there is a God, and find out (through happy feelings) and get my testimony back.

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<rant>

He was very defensive and bible thumpy, intimidatingly so, for all his being 10 years my junior. I didn't think, at that point, that explaining elevation, or confirmation bias, would lead to a pleasant ride home. The whole thing brought back what it was like to get lost in a rant/testimony/lesson and I kinda miss it, tbh. I was so sure once, and felt invincible.

It also felt like I was taking crazy pills: so he married a 14-year-old; you weren't there, you don't know which sources you can trust. *I've* already read everything. You dont know what he meant. Yoy are ignoring the context. Nuh-uh. There is no war in Ba Sing Se. I can trust the leaders, why can't you? This is real. There are 5 lights.

How can you read any of it and not see FAIR is anything but, that lies are the currency of leadership, that doctrine *causes* culture, that Jesus, speaking with the prophets for 150 years never said anything about blacks, or women, or how communists were *not* undermining society, or how to stop being consistently, perfectly wrong about everything? HOW AM I WEIRD FOR LOSING TRUST IN LIARS?!?

</rant>

Thanks for reading. I kicked myself all last night over never stopping and saying *I DID pray. This is my careful and studied conclusion", but it was a long drive, and I didn't want to draw the lines for a battle.

It doesn't matter what you say to him. He will dismiss it as wrong headed. He has to be right because he's fully invested. He has to be right . . .He cannot even entertain the idea that he may be wrong...about anything. There's a way to explain the problems away if you try hard enough. Why aren't you even trying? LOL!

Like finding truth in the patterns of the blindfold.

Wow, Elder Berry! Did you come up with that? It's a beautiful description.

I did. I even thought about some patterns.

http://www.cloverpatchquiltshop.com/mormon-fabric--lds-cotton-prints-and-flannels--religious-fabric.htm

You are the one who has to deal with the you living in your head, not your brother. I found that the me living in my head when I was a Mormon was pretty sucky. What good are testimonies if they only lead to bad tenants?

atouchscreendarkly Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There
> is no war in Ba Sing Se. I can trust the leaders,
> why can't you? This is real. There are 5 lights.

I stand all amazed that I got all of those references :)

Rant away. Just remember: there was a time when you (and I) pulled blinders over our eyes, believed what they told us, and refused to question it. Then we didn't anymore.
His time may come. Or may not. But it's got to come from him.

A truly epic rant when you can quote avatar the last airbender. :)

They will find a way to rationalize everything. Even if the rationalization contradicts their own beliefs.

You should have stopped for coffee in the middle of his lecture