Almost two years ago now I moved back to Utah for work after over a decade away. Of course I began to receive visits from members to introduce themselves and invite me to church. I kept politely declining (I admit I forgot about the whole lack of respect for boundaries thing TSCC has going on), but the visits became more frequent until finally I told the bishop that I intended to have my name removed and would like no further contact. Since then, life has been busy and I continue to put off and forget to write the letter and so slowly they've been returning. Over the past few months I've had visits from the deacons to collect fast offerings, the ward missionaries, home teachers, and the elders quorum president.

I work with a group of minors who are currently on probation and work has been really stressful the past couple of days. Over the weekend one of the young men I work with was arrested for a probation violation so I spent my weekend and all day yesterday preparing for court today and then all day today at the courthouse meeting with the arresting officer, the probation officer, and the prosecutor, testifying in front of the judge and then meeting with the three previously mentioned again. I came home around six completely exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally and I barely made it to the couch on the wall across from my front door before I passed out.

Just after 7 I awoke to my dogs barking like crazy and when I opened my eyes I nearly died. There was someone looking through my front window! I shot off the couch and out the front door and who should I see? The God damned bishop was standing in my flower bed peeking in on me! I lost it and went off on him. I don't recall exactly what I said but it involved something along the lines of "What kind of a person goes around peeking in windows?!" and "I'm gay! I have had multiple sexual relastionships with men and although I'm single now, I plan on having a lot more sex with men in my lifetime! How am I not an apostate?! Shouldn't you get away from me before it spreads?!" I didn't even give him a chance to say anything. I just yelled, walked in the house and slammed the door.

Now that the anger is subsiding I'm feeling a little guilty and embarrassed. Not only did I just treat a man like crap, but I did it in front of a group of my neighbors that were chatting together outside. Mostly I'm just laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation. I guess I won't be invited to any more parties in the neighborhood. I just finished a terse resignation letter that I will be dropping off on my way to work.

1. Don't feel guilty and embarrassed. True emotion in the face of someone else's emotional manipulation and attempted coercion never is an act signifying guilt. F--- the bishop.

2. Congratulations on finally dropping off the letter.

3. Thank you for the great work that you do on behalf of young people. Don't let any jerks (e.g., bishops) get in your way.

4. A "No Trespassing" sign on the front door might be a tasteful addition to your outdoor decor.

I looked out the window and what did I see?
The bishop peeking through the window at me.
The ward has brought me such a rude surprise,
the bishop peering at me with his eyes.
'Wanted just a little time so I could sleep,
Didn't know the Bishop would be such a creep,
It seems I must resign, so that my life is mine,
Then no one will be peeking through the window at me.

HILARIOUS! If I had been awake enough to think of it, I hope I would have pulled it out and slowly begun to masturbate. Then, with the other hand you could have waved him in.

Of course, what do you do if he tried the door?

On second thought, call the cops.

el ~ oh ~ el

Now I wish I could sing this in the next fast and testimony metting! Unfortunately after tonight, I think they would bar me from speaking.

Nicely done!

Nevermo here but I don't think you should feel the least bit guilty. Maybe you "treated him like crap" but only after he had treated you like crap by looking in your window. He showed total disregard for your privacy, not to mention your flowerbed!

Even had you not had a rough, tiring day of work, I think your reaction was perfectly understandable and hey.... at least you didn't throw any punches or physically accost him, as I'm sure many others would have done, given the same circumstances. As far as possibly not being invited to any more parties in the neighborhood, does your neighborhood consist of mostly TBMs? If so, probably no great loss and if not, they would certainly understand your outrage, would be my guess :) Best wishes to you ~



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/12/2016 10:41PM by cinda.

I'll differ from Cinda and acknowledge that you doubtless do feel guilty, but that's pretty much to your credit, and you can "counter" those feelings by validating yourself.

The bishop obviously "doesn't get it" (the missionaries do in my neighborhood, but I still get invitations and such to ward picnics pinned to my door. And I'm a "technical nevermo," myself). My parents--who are still on church rolls--tried to disengage years ago (before you could resign), and they decided it was futile.

Keep raising awareness, however, and maybe the church PR wonks will get the idea after enough bad publicity.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/12/2016 11:33PM by SL Cabbie.

Mormon invasiveness would have driven me bonkers long before you went off on the bishop. Forgive yourself. Your behavior was entirely human. But do get that resignation in the mail. My guess is that the bishop will expedite it. ;)

If you feel the need and I am not sure I would, you could also write an apology. If you do, make sure you make it clear that you want no contact and that peeking in windows is not okay. That is separate from you treating him like crap and making a scene in front of the neighbors if you did that.Make sure he knows that.

Gay Agenda Article 577 subpar 5

TRAMPLING ON A GAY MAN'S FLOWER BED WILL BE CONSIDERED GROUNDS FOR JUSTIFIABLE HOMICIDE.

I hope they don't take my card for this, but my flower beds are pathetic. I just can't get motivated to plant ornamentals. My vegetable garden, on the other hand, would make Martha proud.

You owe him NO apology. That's an extreme invasion of privacy. If I were you, I'd call the police and report him as a peeping tom. Report him by name. Tell the police you've asked them to leave you alone.

Don't you DARE apologize! I will be soooo disappointed in you.

I agree that you should call the non-emergency cop phone number and file an incident report. Tomorrow.

... and so easy to sing to. Brilliant wcg!

If you yelled about being gay in front of the neighbors, don't be surprised if some of the guys come over around dark to welcome you to the neighborhood.

The study is decades old now, but at one time research indicated that most gay men were straight married.

The bishop was doing something really stupid and he got the consequences of being an idiot! Yell at him all you want.
I found it rather...humorous!!

When a man's eternal happiness is at stake, boundaries are irrelevant. I'd like to see one of your dogs latched onto his tush.

For the record,I didnt say the OP should apologize. I said if he feels he should,he should make sure the bishop is aware that he is not in any way condoning his, bishop's behavior. Rather he is owning that he lost his temper. That can be seen as a sign of strength and might even embarrass the bishop. I only brought it up because the OP seemed to think he went too far. None of us were there, so we dont know. It is totally up him to decide since he alone knows what happened and how he feels about it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/13/2016 01:08AM by bona dea.

how many times did that peeping tom not get caught ?
he belongs in jail !

That bishop should be embarrassed he was peeking in your window. That's kind of creepy too.

Thanks for sharing this incident and DO NOT be embarrassed.....the bishop gets to have all of the embarrassment in his court. Man alive, do the peons in the cult think they have the right to do whatever it is they care to do! Who cares if he didn't damage any flowers.....send him a bill for disturbing your weeds because damn it, HE DID NOT BELONG IN YOUR DIRT LOOKING IN YOUR WINDOW! Or, you could return the favor nightly at his window for awhile. Don't peek yourself, hire it out.

Hope your letter made it to the mailbox. I love it when people stick it to the cult by resigning.

I wouldn't assume the neighbors objected. They might be cheering your spunk. At least they know you don't like anyone peeking into your window at the crack of dawn.

That bishop is a creep who really ought to be arrested. Had you been female and he was peeping in on you, you'd have no qualms about reporting his trespassing, would you? Talk about a lack of boundaries.

Maybe if he spent a night in the jug, he might have more respect for people's privacy.

I woud be none too worried about neighbors who didn't do the yelling for you.

I have no expectations that neighbors provide security, but I KNOW we would - grill - a stranger peeking in windows. I have mental images of ball bats and harsh language.

Losing (loosing) your temper was an appropriate response. Many are uncomfortable in expressing anger, but it remains a valuable human tool for self defense, much gentler than a ball bat.

I'd write a letter to the bishop; it would contain no apology, but expect one, and, it would be conspicuosly copied to the police department. Not as strong as "filing a report," but would deinitely put him on notice. Consider it more commumity service. :)

In case you decide to file a report with them, it's nice to know you are documenting the window peeping and trespassing for future reference. You can keep a copy of the report and send one to the bish as a warning that you won't put up with such shenanigans.

The police and a lawyer told me that the bishop is in charge of telling others to leave you alone. You likely don't have a ward list or a reasonable way to contact all of them and the bish knows who your three or four assigned friends are and can easily let them know that they should back off because the police are involved.

We were all taught as mormons that showing contention is a sin. That's likely why it's unnerving for us if we blast someone for their despicable behavior. Actually, it's reasonable to react with rage if someone is trespassing and peering in your window, especially after knowing they are not welcome on your private property. It's a violation of the law to window peep and trespass. It isn't against the law to yell and chase off offenders.

Hey all, thanks for letting me vent and for all the wonderful responses. I shared this thread with an exmo coworker and she laughed over the peeping bishop song so hard a couple others came over to see what was going on. Now she won't stop making popcorn popping hands every time she passes by.

By the time I was getting ready for bed last night I was pretty much over the whole thing, but at 9:30 I received a call from the stake president. The bishop had gone home and called the stake president to report what had happened. The best part is the bishops solution was to visit me in pairs in the future! I informed him of my perspective of events including the past year leading up to last night's encounter and that I would be sending in my resignation letter and reiterated my request for no further contact. He offered to save me a stamp and said I could drop off my letter directly with him. It's sad that the church has given me such trust issues that although I did drop off my letter to him this morning, I also printed off a second copy and sent it in the mail.

I first found this forum in around 2008. I had been telling some friends about some of the crazy Mormon beliefs and I had to google it before they would accept that I was telling the truth. I've lurked on and off ever since. Before I would stop by for a good chuckle, but now that I'm back in Utah it feels a little more necessary for my sanity. I've been lurking so long I associate personalities with certain posters. When some of the comments above reinforced those associations I decided it was a little creepy so I'm going to try to participate more. I don't want to feel like the creeper listening in on your conversations.

Anyone in their home has a right to ban others from entering the property. Just because someone might attend the same church or have their names on a church roster doesn't legally change anything.

The mormon church happens to think they have a right to tramp up to your door until you turn in an official letter. That's wrong. If you tell them to stay away, they are committing illegal trespass by continuing to come onto your property.

So now they're threatening to send TWO lackeys instead of the one??? In your place I'd document the history of these offenses and I'd try to get them arrested.

The local police chief sent a letter to the local bish and copied the MP and the SP telling them to stay away from me and to keep other official mormons off my property. He also sent a cop in a patrol car to see that the bish got the letter and understood it. You have to be a squeaky wheel to put a stop to this non-sense. Good luck. Let's hope this is the end of it.

I can't believe that the Stake President didn't address the privacy (and legal) issue of the Bishop window peeping! The doubling down of bringing another person along to harass you is mind boggling. What possible reason would there for doing that? To protect the Bishop! Bah!

I bet your bishop nearly sh*t his pants! You probably gave him the fright of his life after he scared the crap out of you.

Elsewhere what he did would be called trespassing, at a minimum. Invasion of privacy, another. And not only peeping but creeping Tom. Only in Utah, kids.

for harassing and trespassing. It can be done.

Sorry, I have to ask a nagging question. Is there any possibility the bishop may have heard or suspected that you were gay prior to his window peeping? If so, there may be more behind this than curiosity to see if you were home. Maybe he was hoping to "join" you in some festivities or maybe catch you doing the deed. Just saying.....

He just want to watch you sleep. Give him a break.