Date: July 01, 2016 10:46AM
Sorry this is a little bit of a rant, I don't have a lot of time to think out what I want to write :).
So after discovering the church to be a total and utter fraud a little over a month ago, it is my personality to just move on. However, I feel a weird feeling of being stuck in trying to prove the church is wrong and prove I have thought this out completely. So many people have given me books I "MUST READ" - from my Christian friends trying to help me transition to Christianity, history books from my dad (trying to explain my issues), to books by Denver Snuffer so I can understand the restoration and still leave the church. The list goes on. Not to mention to constant implores to read The BOM from Mormon friends and the Bible from Christians. Part of me wants to give it time so I can feel I understand all view points. The other part of me is just like - "Oh my gosh I just want to live my life! I'm so done having my time wasted by this twisted church!"
I just want to make decisions based on just thinking about what the consequences will be and what is compassionate. But I just feel this heavy weight to research every view point. How can I organize my thoughts and decide what I actually want to spend my time doing? I'm a young mom and I have two young children - 5 and 18 months who are super active and my time to read and research are sort of limited. I'm also starting homeschooling my 5 year old this fall, something I am super passionate about. I want to focus on things that are now actually important to me but I feel the need to research so I can defend myself against everyone and give "solid reasons". I know I don't need to defend myself and keep the conversations short but it is this nagging feeling. So far I can explain myself pretty well (obviously none of my reasons are good enough and I know they never will be) but I just feel like I should read more and more and more and I can't really understand why.
Anyways now that I went off on a tangent. The point is, I want to move on but I have this weird feeling that I have to read a library worth of books and articles to justify my choice. Any thoughts? What helped you move on?