http://www.funnyfarmonline.org/archives/2011/04/and-now-for-a-s.html



"The Church Of The Afternoon NapTM is organized around three basic beliefs:
The Church Of The Afternoon NapTM believes that an afternoon nap is a positive, beneficial activity that should be encouraged and enabled for our fellow beings. Stress is a major cause (effect?) of increased hardship in the human condition, and can lead to an early grave. We believe that even five minutes of meditation at lunch can help alleviate the stress of the day and allow people to lower stress levels, rest and recharge, and take some time to assess and organize themselves and their day's progress and plan for the rest of the day.

We are dedicated to trying to provide a calm, restful environment for people to have an afternoon nap from noon to four (local time) each day (regular church hours open to the public).

The Church Of The Afternoon NapTM believes that religion has been taken much too seriously by the human race. Currently, and for thousands of years, there have been religions, and religious people, who have strenuously and seriously advocated, based upon their religious beliefs, that those members of society that do not share their religious beliefs should be eradicated from the face of the earth. Many religions, over thousands of years, have tried to instill their unproven, and unprovable, beliefs into society as though they were based on a bedrock of fact.

Organized religion has been the largest cause of human misery during the course of human civilization. To believe that differences in opinion over hypothetical systems of belief, differences in attempting to define the undefined, and differences in what and how we know and enforce what we believe are the thoughts and motives of a supposed superior being, are sufficient cause to harm, much less destroy, another person, another race, or another group, seems to those of our religion to be somewhat extreme.

We do not believe that religious beliefs should ever be the cause of strife between people. We would never attempt to use our religious beliefs as a basis for persecuting those who do not share them, demanding that laws be passed, or demanding that any church doctrine be legislated as the law of any land solely because it is church doctrine. We believe that religions should be focused less on enforcing their beliefs on the whole of civilization, and more on sharing their beliefs and accepting the knowledge that those beliefs may not be shared by everyone.

The Church Of The Afternoon NapTM believes that religions and religious activities should not be given privileges and additional rights, and that religions should be required to obey all of the laws of the lands where they wish to establish themselves. No religion should enjoy tax free status, and all religions should consider it a sacred duty to contribute their fair share to society, instead of expecting society to support them, give them special privileges, and let them ignore the laws of the land with impunity.

We believe that religions should be equal, not privileged, members of society. Religions should never be allowed to shield their employees from any illegal activities they engaged while acting as representatives of their religion. We will be operating as a tax-free religious organization, and attempt to show how much more religions can be when they choose to become equal members of society, in the hopes that someday religions will stop being treated as privileged members of society.

With these basic beliefs in mind, The Church Of The Afternoon NapTM is encouraging the following principles within its' congregation, and is attempting to accomplish the following goals:

- to establish the afternoon nap as a regular religious activity within the church, and provide safe haven for those who would like to take a bit of time off for a nap (regular church hours would be noon to four PM)

- to promote and enjoy the benefits of taking a break in the middle of the day when designing a positive, spiritually beneficial, and healthy lifestyle

- to promote and establish that our religious beliefs are not of the nature of traditional religious beliefs, in that they are not held to be axiomatic truths that would cause adherents of our religion to condemn our fellow human beings if they do not strictly accept our religious beliefs as the one true faith

- to show rational people everywhere that religions are beliefs and not knowledge, and as such should not be used as the basis of law and persecution of others who may not share those beliefs

- to enjoy the benefits of religious tax-free status, that are currently enjoyed by organized religions in many nations, within all of the church membership, and properly utilize it to show that religions should be taxed as any other corporation until such time as the laws are changed

- to request that governments remove religious references and beliefs from the common law applicable to all."

that's funny, dave......(lol)

meeting was the church of the afternoon nap.

The greatest luxury in life is an afternoon nap between 2:30 and 3:00. Sign me up for this church forthwith!!

This reminds me of an April Fools joke I played on one of my bro-in-laws.
I was a TBM and he and my sis were inactive at the time. I left a message on his machine saying that his friend had referred him to our church " the church of the good time gospel" and that we were going to have a joint activity with "the church of the great outdoors" for a sunday of golf and bbq... my sister bust out laughing while he was searching for a pen to write down the number. He was actually a bummed out. Turns out this was the one church he could really get behind!

Irony- they are now TBMs and Im Resigned!