I've been living with my boyfriend for over a year now, I resigned a year and half now, but my family doesn't know.
So my bf and I moved to Las Vegas due to work reasons, and I was texting with my brother and he asked how things were going and I said everything was ok and that Las vegas was nice. Out of the blue my TBM brother asked told me "you have to go to church one of these days, you've had a big church break already!" I was shocked, i thought we were over that.. all I could say was "yup" and then changed the subject.
So basically, they wont leave me alone until I tell them i resigned, right?

You could tell him the break was a big success and you've decided to make it permanent.

Best Answer!! ^^^^

I might tell him that!

I told people that I retired from Mormonism. Don't know if i'll ever be young enough to go back, again. They look at me so confused.

Or, (I know, it gets so tiresome having to remind Mormons that they are not practicing their own faith...)

you could suggest that he take a look at the 11th article of the faith. And ask why, since he doesn't bother to follow his own faith, he thinks that he can tell others what to do.

"The break has been great. You ought to try it."

"You mean back on your head, coffee break is over?"

"I'm glad I took a break. It gave me time to think. I think my break is going to last a LOT longer."

"Funny how when you leave something that you don't need how you don't miss it."

+1

I think your brother's comment was designed to get you back on the straight and narrow. This is taught to the priesthood as their responsibility. Especially now that so many members are leaving tscc the priesthood who still go to church are probably getting lots of pressure to herd the lost sheep back to the fold.

You might respond to your brother with a question. Why don't you ask him if he is getting a lot of pressure to get you back to church? If he says "Yes" you can ask if it's the family or the ward. It might be interesting to hear if he is being made responsible for your inactivity and guilted by others.

If he tells you his story you can just reply that he is not his sister's keeper and that you absolve him of all responsibility for your actions. Your life is between you and God and nobody else has to worry about your salvation.

He is so TBM that he said that just for him. Our dad hasn't been inside a church bulding since 2001 and he still insists on asking our dad to attend or puts down his name in the temple every single time they go.

So, if I have this right, he's submitted your father's name for fifteen years of temple prayer circle. Said father shows no sign of change. This is what's known as "a clue" to prayer circle efficacy.

Or as he calls it "a faith test" or some mormon lingo like that. Therefore this "test" has made him more active in the church and he "knows" my dad will go back to church.
AAAAAnd you can find my dad not caring about the church and grinding his own coffee beans every morning and living in sin with his girlfriend and enjoying life after he quit church while he was a stake president because he couldn't take it anymore!
Oh my poor naive brother can't take a clue.

Wow. WHILE he was a stake president, you say. Do tell someday.

zoe Wrote:
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> So basically, they wont leave me alone until I
> tell them i resigned, right?

Or after. If he is calling what you are doing a "break" then he is never gonna to believe you can leave.

Some families can adjust and others can't. Let's hope your family will get used to seeing you as a good well adjusted non-church goer.

"I can leave the Church, but it can't leave me alone."

Totally!!

sometimes personal questions catch us off guard, and we are too nice to be assertive. I know I've got this problem in my life which has caused needless worry about what other people think of me. We just need to stop being so concerned with everyone is thinking about us and a short truthful answer is the best way to communicate. Mature people won't be offended.

I wasn't offended but I dont want to make a scene by telling them that the church is not true. I believe that I cannot open their eyes it's a personal thing to me.

Don't tell him the church isn't true. He won't hear it anyway.

You don't have to tell him anything if you don't want to. Or, tell him you're enjoying the break and have been learning a lot and you don't plan on going back until you're done with your education project. That could take ohhhh about another 40 years or so. By then you'll be like me and ready to retire from church.

Breaks are great with coffee and donuts..

Specially in cold mornings with a very dark coffee.. yuuummmm

Testify!! And can I get an "Amen"?! :)

"Oh, you thought I meant 'church break' as in 'hiatus' -- when what I really meant was 'a total break with the church.' So sorry for the misunderstanding.

JAR

So, living with BF doesn't give him a clue that you have moved on from the "must get married" mantra that mormonism preaches?

My line when people ask me about the church is "it didn't work for me". I don't elaborate.

I know! Also, my bf is super atheist and they get along so well and they never talk about religion.
The thing is they haven't asked me anything or even make any comment about it until now. I wish we were in person so I could tell him that I am not thinking on going back right now.

Oh, my, let me stir that pot a bit.

Someone as TBM as your brother must know that to alienate the love of your life is to alienate you. I am convinced that your brother loves both you and your father, trying to do what he feels is right.

Your bf is the outsider to him, and an atheist at that. Your brother may be trying to outsmart the adversary in the flesh, the one who has almost swallowed his sister whole, in appearing to get along with him.

That's a hypothesis you and bf can test, but it may be best to leave it as it is.

Actually, my brother and bf met when they were like 12 in a summer camp and became friends but never saw each other. So when i introduced them, after like 20 years, they remembered that they already knew each other. SUper long and boring story but yes, you get the point.

I'm nevermo but I see some great suggestions here :) I like the tack that you're still 'educating' yourself and so far, you have not decided as to when(if ever) you'll be returning.


It would seem to me that, as you are living with your bf, your brother must already have a pretty clear idea as to your feelings asbout LDS,Inc., and your lack of belief. Wish I had something better for you but, as I said, I'm nevermo so have not experienced what you are going through.

Best of luck to you and please do report back to us here as to how things are progressing for you :)

One of my cousins can laugh about his Mormon upbringing now with his Mormon cousins. Without missing a beat, and he does so respectfully of their beliefs but without disrespecting his own.

He describes his upbringing as a wonderful rich heritage based on Americana folklore. He loves, honors, and respects his parents and ancestors for their faith and undying devotion to their beliefs, but it isn't what propels his boat.

I'd just let your brother know gently if you must, that you no longer believe. And have another faith system (if you do,) or not, as the case may be. And you feel fine just as you are.

I feel the same freedom that led our ancestors into the CoJCoLDS with all its deception and outright false prophets, is what led me to eventually finding my way out of it after I was able to navigate my way on my own (after a life of relying on others telling me what to believe.) Your conscience is your guide. Living in America with our freedom of religion is one of the greatest freedoms I have come to cherish as a former Mormon, because I wasn't forced to stay one.

If the LDS article of faith is about giving people 'freedom to worship Almighty God' in whatever way they see fit, as the Articles claim, then I'd hold them to that and say I'll respect your agency, and i'm just asking you to respect mine.

No one needs to argue/ debate about it. It's a matter of conscience.

Hang in there.