Not only are you excluded from your child's temple wedding, you are considered unworthy.

My 4th child temple wedding happened Sat, in Toronto that I wasn't allowed to attend.

At the reception...it was sooooo special to attend the temple wedding.

What should have been said...it is a horrific practice to call someone unworthy and exclude them from attending their own child's wedding

It only looks that way from outside the bubble. You're lucky you're not a bubblehead.

Sorry you were treated so badly. My convert DD married in a temple ten years ago. No one who knew the song she played for her first piano recital, or the name her fourth grade teacher, or which grandmother she inherited her beautiful eyes from were there. We were judged unworthy.

However, we decided to set aside the hurt, put smiles on our faces, and were as gracious as we could find it in our hearts to be.

Ten years later, it has paid off. She will be here with her children for the fourth. I am an important part of their lives, while they rarely see their TBM grandmother.

I wasn't there for the marriage ceremony but I have been there for the marriage. Sorry, I know it hurts but that is the best advice I can give.

caedmon Wrote:
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> I wasn't there for the marriage ceremony but I
> have been there for the marriage. Sorry, I know
> it hurts but that is the best advice I can give.

It is the best advice in this situation I've ever read.

truth

That's exactly how I'm playing it with my kids, and now with my grand kids.

Son & 2 of his sons came to town & are staying with me because "Mom always tells us what to do. It's more fun with you."

Daughter, who just had a new baby, her 3rd, named him after me! That's something I never expected as her openly gay dad. (Although, why not?).

So stay involved. The pain of exclusion can melt away over time.

Thanks, Caedmon. That is really good advice that I needed to hear. I stood outside at my two daughters' temple weddings, and I've been carrying quite a bit a resentment.

I agree with you, 6 iron. It is a horrible practice. The Mormon concepts of "worthy" and "unworthy" are wretched.

I remember complimenting my sister's reception and her mother-in-law said "you thought the reception was nice, the wedding was so much better". My sister looked mortified. I really wanted to say "green aprons and silly hats are not my thing" but I refrained.

Clearly, the amazingly spiritual wedding did not have a lasting effect on the MIL.

Kind of proud I am,," unworthy"

Same here. Actually, I feel MORE worthy than those who are in the temple. None of them are really worthy.

Wow, I so admire those of you who have maintained your grace and dignity in the face of being excluded from a child's temple wedding. It 's something I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to pull off, quietly anyway! When we moved to Utah, my daughter was just starting the second grade and, the more I learned about tscc, the more I feared that she would meet some young man, want to convert, and then want the temple wedding. Thankfully, none of that happened :) Fast forward 23 years and she did marry an inactive BIC, whose family is active but has never put any 'pressure' on her and had no problem with their golf course wedding in southern Utah. In that, I feel blessed.

yup - ultimately my mom died from the grief of not being allowed to attend the temple wedding of her only daugher (brainwashed converted).... my sister doesn't have a clue....

Oh? Was that the doctors diagnosis?

Since when does a doctor provide a cause of death as heartbreak?

Isn't that more inside knowledge, such as what a child would know intimately what his mother truly suffered from?

It's conceivable.

Evil Mormon cult to split families the way it does.

In the last 4 years, my 4 oldest have all had temple weddings that I wasn't allowed to attend.

My 19 year old daughter has just filled out her mission papers

And my last, she's 15, will probably continue to do the tbm route.

And my narcissistic turbo tbm ex was there for all of them, and her tbm husband.

I'm sorry you didn't get to see your daughter get married.
I'm *not* sorry you didn't get into the temple. Ugh.

Not only does the church separate families with the temple "weddings," they teach their young adult members to separate their own family by insisting on a temple "wedding," even if someone important (like dad) can't be there. Church before family.

I commiserate, 6 iron. Big hugs.

It was my son, and I'm a dude. You could hug me, but it would have to be short, with a couple of back pats, lol

Also, it's mind boggling that a church would deem most of the the population to be unworthy. This includes many of their own members.

First I just want to say that sealing are actually super boring and every one I have been to I just want it to be over. There is not much to see other than the weird symbolic clothes and hats you have to wear over your pretty wedding clothes.

When I was married my mother in law was the only parent not able to attend. I asked about a ring ceremony so she could attend that but everyone including my husband said it would distract from the temple. I feel awful that she wasn't included in our wedding now 8 years later. She was married in the temple and I know she understands. Still a couple years after our marriage she expressed how sad she was when she had a few drinks and I felt terrible. I should have fought for the ring ceremony. I love her and we have a great relationship but she'll never get that moment back.

I feel angry how much pain the LDS church causes to families.

Meant to say "I feel angry ABOUT how much pain the LDS church..."

The only saving grace I got from the marriage of our youngest daughter - to which I was excluded as no longer a member - was that it was in Nauvoo and I had time to spend researching in the museum (not the LDS jail) in Carthage. Of our twelve children I only got to walk one down aisle. She the last of the twelve to get married. I have tears in my eyes thinking of the two who I could not even be present for.