My dad flew in from out of state to visit hubby me and our 3 (3, 6 and 8 years old) kids. Hubby is camping with a friend this weekend and will be back tonight. At around 10:30pm I hear 3 year old crying all of them have been sleeping in the same bed with my dad. The guest bedroom is downstairs in our house. So I go downstairs and I knock on my dad door. I open the door and I see my 3 year old in my dad's arms not wearing any pants. I asked how come my 3 year old is not wearing any pants and my dad said that they were wet so he took them off. My 3 year old uses diapers at night and is wearing underwear during the day. So if my dad had forgot to put a diaper on and 3 year old would have fallen asleep with underwear on he could have been wet. Is that a normal thing to do for a grandpa to take off wet clothes and put no new ones on? I took my 3 year old upstairs with me and put a diaper on him and he slept in my bed after that occurrence. My dad will be staying with us for another 3 weeks and no I do not trust him any more after what has happened last night.

hmm, was he in the process of putting a new diaper on her?

I know when I go stay with my kids they're so sleep deprived that a lot of times they don't hear the kids in the middle of the night. I've gone in and comforted my grandson and granddaughter when they've had bad dreams and sometimes put new pull-ups/diapers on them and changed the sheets and their pajamas in the process. I actually worry about how they fare when I'm gone.

But if you had a bad feeling about it then don't ignore it. If my children found me cleaning up after my grandson or granddaughter and thought something was going on, I think it would actually bring me peace of mind to have them be more protective. At least I would know that even if I'm not a threat they are on the look out for a threat to my sweet grandbabies. Honestly that's what's really important to me.

The kids should not be sleeping in the same bed as your dad. They should be in their own beds. Tell your dad to come wake you if a child is crying during the night and you don't hear it. Better yet, get a baby monitor for the youngest child's room.

I used to change the odd diaper and change sheets as needed when visiting my niece and nephew. I figured if the parents could get a little extra sleep it was a good thing. It could be that your dad was just trying to pitch in. Is that his personality type? Does he help wash up, chop vegetables, pick up, etc.?

Fuck that, get a baby monitor for your dad's room and put it under the bed or something where he won't see it.

I'm hesitant to make any assumptions about him either at this point, but this is the kind of thing where, by the time you have evidence to back up your suspicions, you already have damage done.

If you can get any intel out of the children, fine. But in the meantime, just make sure he's not alone with any of them for any amount of time.

Note: My family had an uncle who was assumed to be a pedophile. I am not quite sure exactly how everyone knew this, but anyone with children was warned to keep their kids away from him. He was fine in a group with family around. When I was about 13 or 14, I was staying with my grandparents for a weekend or something (he lived with them at the time), and I was super bored. He said he could think of a few things to do. Thinking he might do something like sneak me a beer, I nibbled the bait. He broke out in a sweat and suggested that "Well, we could make out." WHAT the fuck are you kidding me? Disappointed that I was not going to get a beer, I went into the kitchen with my gramma and started helping her prepare supper. Later my mom came by and she told me he'd been a known creeper forever and to never be alone with him. The entire family watched out for every kid who crossed his path. (I'm starting to suspect he abused my mom because she acts like a textbook abuse victim, and how else would they know he's a pedo? There were no citations of him being caught abusing anyone. Just some vague stories (that could have been lies) about him moving out of cities in a hurry and couch-crashing with my grandparents every now and then.)

Was the bedding wet? In my experience, when a 3 year old wets at night, it gets much more than just their pajamas wet!

You are doing the right thing by removing your child from a potentially traumatizing situation. I would recommend removing your other children as well, perhaps under the guise of not wanting to inconvenience Grandpa.

While your first responsibility is to protect your children, if he is innocently doing his best to care for them you do not want to make them feel uneasy around him or break his heart knowing you think he is molesting your children.

Was he ever inappropriate with you or your siblings? Is he otherwise very touchy-feely with this child over the others?

He either deserves to be in jail or he deserves a loving relationship with his grandkids. Until you are sure it is the latter keep your guard up and don't let them be alone with him for a minute.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2016 10:40AM by surroundednjudged.

This is very worrisome, Anon4this.

My son's father-in-law takes the granddaughters potty, and wants to be the "good helper" by changing the baby unasked. One day I saw him change the baby and immediately go into the bathroom, lock the door, and stay there at lenght.

Do people have to lock the bathroom door to wash their hands?

Listen to your gut feelings and act on them. Ask the three year old about grandpa, ask all the kids. If they prove your suspicions right notify the cops. Tell your father to leave.
Don't ask... tell.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2016 01:47PM by saucie.

Listen to your maternal instincts.

Since you have no evidence, I like surroundednjudged's suggestion to use the excuse that you don't want them to disturb him.

It is possible that grandpa is innocent of any inappropriate behavior, but it must be your first prioroty to protect your children. Since you have had an internal alarm go off, you should heed it. Don't leave the kids alone with him.

Going forward, if there are no more opportunities, you will have no more alarms, but that shouldn't cause you to determine that you had overreacted. If he gets seriously bent out of shape when you won't leave them alone with him, that's another red flag. "Dad, I just know that they may be too much on you. They're coming with me. It's all planned." should be the end of it.

I don't envy you in this.

In defense of grandpa, old people can have trouble really waking up and I have personally woke in the morning to find I didn't finish something I started in the night. Is he on any medication? That makes it worse.

Simply point out that he sleeps too soundly to be in bed with kids and put them in their own beds for the duration. I wouldn't crucify the man on this one incident.

So the defense is that the kid was wet, so he's holding a half-naked kid in his arms, with no barrier in case the kid wets the bed again?

That story has more holes than swiss cheese.

I have some experience as the victim.

If he didn't actually have a dry diaper in his hands, DO NOT let him spend time alone with your kids. Not at all. Some kinds of sexual abuse only take a couple of minutes.

The only thing I would disagree with from the above posters is that I would not probe the kids about the situation. Again, as a victim I know that those types of conversations can be devastating to a young, confused child. Instead, try to spend several relaxed minutes with each child alone. Observe their behavior. Casually mention grandpa. They will let you know either by telling you or by acting super weird.

If your gut tells you he is guilty, call the cops. You will actually be helping him, too. Stop him before he permanently damages a child physically or emotionally. He cannot stop on his own.