Their garment of holiness is not covering their seat of thought but their actual seat.

Their farts are more protected than their thoughts. A scatological eschatology of bum protective wear where eating and marital screwing are the highlights of their hedonism.

In farts we trust.

Kolobian filtering technology. The garments hold out temptation and demons but allow farts to escape.

But with garments on every fart is sacred. You literally can't break reverence by breaking wind.

Apparently they did not protect a friend of mine the other day. He lost control of his car early in the morning 1 mile east of my farm. It rolled and he was killed. It saddened me to read about how the LARD had called him home in his obit. Such horseshit. He was 58.

RB



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/25/2016 05:51PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

Sorry about your friend Ron.

I took the bus home from my first temple session with my new garmies on. I was farting up a storm and was amazed to find that they did not stink. I marveled at how magical that was. Unfortunately, the first time I pulled taffy they lost their magic filtering powers.

How long before taffy was pulled?

I think I made it a day. Once the shock of the ceremony started to lesson I was wanting looking for distractions from thinking about it.

Regarding the magical filtering...read on...old gal had terrible gas...went to the doc about it...she said doc ive got terrible gas...they dont stink and you cant hear em....he said take these pills for a week and come see me again...she returned and said geez those pills didnt help a bit...i fart just as much but now they just stink...doc said well...now we got your nose working...lets see what we can do for your ears...filters pssshhh

Elder Berry wrote about "eschatological farts." I guess they're the type that are on fire! No matches needed for lighting these. The eschatological Boner.

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Elder Berry wrote about "eschatological farts." I
> guess they're the type that are on fire! No
> matches needed for lighting these.

They only ignite when you don't pay your tithing.

Good catch! Fortunately, my farts are cinnamon-scented to the delight of all around me.

That is some sick cinnamon stick.

Well, if you lived a pure and delightsome life like me, yours, too, would be cinnamon scented! Just don't be around Elder Old Dog when he lets loose. There's a reason why LA is polluted!