I fear I might have a problem. I've been struggling since leaving the church with having feelings of anger and mistrust. I think these feelings are consuming me, and so I've taken to chatting on Mormon.org to process and get these feelings out, but I may have taken it out of hand.

My work doesn't monitor my interweb perusal, so I always have a side screen open to Mormon.org. I have conversations going the 8+ hours I am at work and I get back on as soon as I get home. If I had to estimate, I'd say another 4-5 hours an evening chatting with the missionaries there. So around 12-13 hours a day, practically every day of the week. When I say I'm consumed, I mean in--it's all I think about. It's gotten to the point where I'm starting to see patterns as to which missionaries I'm assigned to, how they each act, and what times of the day they are most likely to be on.

I don't know what to do.

They can't back up any questions you have with facts, so ultimately all they can do is fall back on their testimony, and, to paraphrase 'The Twilight Zone', they say "You got to believe, Boley, you got to belieeeeve..."

It sounds like you're concerned that you're developing a psychological obsession with these activities and thoughts. If that's the case, you may want to talk with a mental health counselor.

Good luck!

: )

I'm curious as to what a bunch of rather ignorant, naive 18-20 year old kids are doing to assuage your feelings of anger and mistrust...?

Buy a Magic 8 Ball. It will give you information that's just as reliable as that from these mush-filled skulls.

But seriously, you've just found a more sophisticated way of procrastinating. You are the architect of your own destiny but for some reason your shadow self is blocking you from getting on with the job. Figure out what it is in yourself that you're not acknowledging so it will stop holding you back.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2016 06:46PM by bradley.

What do you feel you're getting from doing this?

I wish I could say. I do it without even thinking

I'm going to gently challenge the notion that you are doing it without thinking. You are demonstrating awareness of it by coming here and sharing about it. What happens if you don't do it? If you don't know, here's a suggestion:
Put something bright on your keyboard, like a highlighter pen. When you go to sit down at the keyboard, let the pen remind you not to go on Mormon.org for one hour. Set a timer if you have to. Notice what thoughts/feelings/fears/anxities come up during that hour.

Jenna

Shoot, I missed that you're doing this at work. In that case, you can't very well walk away from the computer. You can still use the highlighter as a visual reminder not to go on the site. Start with a smaller time period, like 15 minutes.

If the LDS church was what it claimed to be, then non of this worry over whether the church is true or not true would be an issue.

If you think you have been in the truth and discover it's a fraud, it can be devastating.

JW's face the same dilemma. For many it can be liberating at the same time but that depends on how strong a person is mentally and what circumstances are with family issues.

Having your family react negatively makes it even worse as many know by experience.

I feel this is dishonest to your employer.

Eventually your employer will figure out what you do all day and then you might have an even bigger problem.

I have two employees on warning because somehow they thought they were hired to fart around on Facebook all day. It showed in their productivity.

Maybe that could be an incentive to stop?

(Sorry, duplicate reply.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2016 07:03PM by dagny.

This is a problem in the workplace, but I think it's something that requires some creativity. Sometimes people need to feel challenged or they fall out of their groove. Helping employees find and stay in their groove is both a problem and an opportunity. Maybe it means it's time to switch things up.

In order to keep them engaged, you must be giving them something that allows them to imagine that staying in touch with you is worthwhile.

Talk to us here, instead! I know we're not as witty or charming, but what we lack in those areas, we more than make for in cunning and wickedness!

If nothing else, share with us the things that keep you hanging on...

You are currently obsessed with this, but I think in time you will start to lose interest. Let it run its course. Things might start to taper off, or you may need to, at some point, quit cold turkey. Cultivate your interests outside of Mormonism.

I sounds like rather than processing your feelings, you're just perpetuating them. This is just an ineffective coping mechanism, but you can't stop because you haven't replaced it with anything better.

A good therapist might help.

Exercise -- walking, biking, swimming, yoga, whatever works for you. Physical activity can be extremely helpful for processing emotional problems.

Focus on working at work.

When you're not working, find a worthy cause. Volunteer with seniors, or children, or animals, or any cause that feels right to you. Instead of focusing on your own worries, get outside of yourself and help others.

Find some kind of hand work. Woodworking, knitting, painting, music. . . just do something that focuses your energy and results in something beautiful or interesting.

Study a foreign language. This will stimulate your brain in new ways.

You need a beer and a football game...

Maybe you need to get laid.

In time, I think that you probably will get over it. However, in the meanwhile, you need to protect yourself at work. Sooner or later, someone there will figure it out, and you will either lose their trust, or you will lose your job. It's too great a risk to take.

Find some more constructive, deeply involving hobby.

Get exercise, lots of it. Walking, biking, jogging, step dancing, anything.

They are right, those who say that a good counselor can help you get those ducks in a row.

As a last resort, there are those new wrist bands that help people break bad habits. I think that they are reprehensible (just my own, personal knee-jerk reaction). But, in your case, if all else fails, I wonder if you might consider investing in one.

If you can, move your computer so that anyone coming into your work space can see what's on your screen. Then stop, cold turkey, with any personal computer time while at work.

What you're doing doesn't sound healthy. You may want to ask your boss about a new responsibility or project to work on that will truly challenge you and help you grow professionally. The fact alone that you can be on mormon.org chat your whole workday shows that you're probably not doing enough productivity-wise. On the other hand, actually accomplishing something at work will be gratifying for you, which is probably a good step toward healing, recovery, and confidence.

Think about it this way...you're basically still wasting a lot of time obsessing about the church, just like you did before when you were "in". If you had to attend church functions for 12 hours every day, wouldn't you try to get the hell out? I'm all for personal freedom and personalized coping strategies, but with this one, you're not doing yourself a favor. So, as mentioned by a couple other people, seek professional help if you can't quit on your own to a point where you can have a "normal" life. Then perhaps find a hobby or two in order to be somewhat busy in the evenings and on weekends. Anything outdoors does wonders for me, but if that doesn't work for you, find something else you genuinely enjoy.

Sorry for being a bit stern.

I hope you either quit or lose your job.Honestly I have not one bit of patience for people who chat,Facebook,cell phone etc at work all day. Not one bit .Be an adult

OK, here goes...

I am a NeverMo, I know no Mormons personally, I have only been accosted by missionaries once in my life.

But I am addicted to this board. I am disabled, so work is no problem. But I have hung around for easily as long as eight hours at a time.

I am fascinated. Comparative Protestant denominations has been an interesting study for me since age ten or so, but this is out of control. I have tried going to boards for ex Adventists, Campbellites, JWs, Pentecostals, and on and on. Nothing feeds my jones like this place.

I know I have way too much unstructured time, but I have it so bad that sometimes I have laid in bed at night and wondered how so-and-so was going to answer such-snd-such.

I am educated in religions, both academically and by self study. This place just seems to scratch an itch.

I have been told by other posters that I should get off the board two times. But when I review their posts I realize they are mad about everything, not just my comments. Others have told me how valuable my ideas are.

Maybe I will feel better just by venting.

Steve

I think it is fascinating that you like to hang out with us!

Oh, please! Stop with the false modesty!!just look in the mirror...! We are the epitome (which I love to pronounce 'EP--uh-tome') of intelligence and culture so it's no wonder we are so interesting, and even hypnotic.

Stop. Now.

You're going to get fired over this eventually. Is that not motivation enough? Then you won't have a w.ork computer with which to talk. And, you might not be able to afford internet at home. Better to suck it up now and quit than kicking yourself later.

We get little splashes of happy hormones in our brains from various pursuits, including internet merry-go-rounds. You're simply addicted to the splashes.

I agree with other commenters that cold turkey is best. Turn it off, go outside, walk, breathe. Remind yourself that it's only a movie that's playing at the LDS Multiplex. They want you to buy their popcorn. Every word they send you is a kernel of popped corn, sticky with fake butter.

Your hobby--and that's all this is--isn't as important as the opportunity cost of your time.

Thank you everyone for your feedback. I'll start to try and ween myself off of my dirty habit. Which, I should probably start doing by closing the current chat window I have open at the moment LOL

Yep. Replace this habit with another that propels you forward instead of stall mode.