I think the most horrible Mormon thing in my life now is how exmos or nonmos or "unworthies", can't attend the marriage of their own children.

What a horrific cult that does this.

What a disgusting horrific cult.

Parents that get looked down on as being "unworthies"

And then we're supposed to be in a celebration mood for a reception.

This is again happening to me for the 4th time

Sounds like a good reason to cut the ties to the cult to me.

I cut ties 5ish years ago, but my 6 kids are trapped in it and I keep having to interact with other family members and random Mormons.

I have to walk on eggshells, and put up with all their pro Mormon attitudes and brainwashing

In the end the TBMs force you to choose between them and your self respect. At some point you have to determine if you are really compromising or just being a doormat.

The clue that you are not compromising is that you are not getting anything out of it. I don't know for you, but for me that was what it came down to.

I stood outside the temple for a sister decades ago and joined the photos feeling like a prop. I looked around at all the tiny nieces and nephews and thought, "No way am I doing this once a year for the rest of my life."

I never even responded to another wedding invitation. Some still sent them, but they already knew they would never hear back. I know. Emily Post would not like this one bit. But I needed to make a statement. Being the difficult one has its perks. You gain a great advantage once you feel no need to be liked.

I moved forty years ago from Utah to a very nonMormon place and it was the best thing I ever did. This improved family relations. I don't know if distance makes hearts grow fonder, but I do know it makes life with Mormons more palatable.

I do know why you don't want anything Mormon in your life 6 iron. I really do.

You're awesome, Blue! I'm sorry for all the hurt and disrespect. Boner.

Blueorchid wrote:

"You gain a great advantage once you feel no need to be liked."

There's my quote for the month, right there.

but she bailed at the last moment. I realized it wasn't about not seeing her married, even though being a single mother and raising my 2 kids, you'd think I would be the main person there. I repaired my relationship with my older sister so she would be there to represent me. It was a good thing that I am now close to my sister again.

But I realized it wasn't about not being IN THERE, it was that I wanted those damn mormons to know that I CHOOSE TO NOT BE THERE. I wanted to hold up a sign that said, "I reject everything this building stands for."

I know what goes on in there. Not like I'd be wondering.

But to make the rest of us feel like we are someone they can look down on. They just don't get it. I think that is the biggest issue for me--THEY DON'T GET IT.

It is interesting to note that my sister pointed out to me that I would be on the outside with her 3 (married--no longer mormon) children while she was on the inside with my daughter.

I planned on being at my parents' grave, which was a mile away from the temple. Even my TBM aunt wanted to be at the grave with me (my mother's only sister). I had many days of crying my eyes out over this and I finally found peace. Though I never had to face it, I did have to face other issues when she bailed.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/23/2016 08:52PM by cl2.

Howdy 6 Iron. I'm going to give you the advice my pastor gave me many years ago when I, too, was banned--Be there for your kid's marriage. The ceremony lasts about 30 minutes, be there for your kids for the rest of your life.

My very best, I know it hurts like hell not to go to the ceremony. Post and vent here. Cheers, The Beer-drinking Boner.

I'm sorry, 6 iron. I know that it's been very hard for you. The corollary to your situation is how much brainwashing it takes to get a kid to keep their parent(s) out of their wedding.

Good bye "ALL" magical make belief.

Wayne and Garth weren't worthy either: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXN1yxax448