Hello guys! I have returned from the dead! I was hoping that would mean I would get my own cult, tons of money, and possibly a couple of 14 year old girls for me to pleasure myself upon. But Alas, that right is apparently reserved for Jewish bastard children and backwoods perverts.

So I know you guys loved my "Crazy Seminary Class" updates and the support was nuts, I love you guys for it, it was all amazing. Fortunately fate has brought us a neat little micro-series I will be doing called "The crazy YSA ward" and trust me, it's already juicy at day one.

So once upon a time, Little Exmo Aspie was talking with his Bishop on a lovely spring Sunday. His Bishop informed him that he would be soon going to a magical fairy tale land called the "YSA Ward". Little Exmo Aspie was released from the calling of Priest Quorum 1st assistant and would report to this new place that next week.

Church started at 1:00 for the YSA ward, so that made it sorta nice for me. So I drove 25 minutes, no joke, to the building where we would be meeting. It was conveniently located on the outskirts of the city for convenience.

I parked my car, got out, took a deep breath, and began walking to the door. The whole time I was thinking "fuck my life". I reluctantly walked into the building and the chapel.

When I walked in the chapel, I was hit with the aura of TBM weirdness and high school drama, even though both schools in the city had graduated just days before. I sat in the back and tried to remain inconspicuous. I was immediately greeted by a very TBM younger family who began saying how much they loved my tie (It was the American flag). Soon after I saw some older friends, fresh rm's go sit next to some friends from my former ward. I chose to go sit with them. These kids were all TBM's but they were the cooler kind of TBM's that are pretty loose and can still have fun.

I shared funny pictures back and forth with two of the guys there through most of the sacrament meeting. One thing I noticed however was the Bishop. Let me be clear. My former Bishop was really cool. The coolest Bishop I've ever had. Super chill about everything, and an extremely kind and down to earth man. But this new Bishop, this guy was something new entirely.

We will call him Bishop Wingnut. Bishop Wingnut is a twat. This guy is probably the worst Bishop I've had, and I've known him for a day. This guy is the kind of guy who is a GA wannabe. His talk was verbal cancer. He was so annoying. He acted like he was giving a talk in General Conference, winning the Super Bowl, and conquering Poland all at the same time. His talk was extremely culty, talking about holding to the ship bullshit. And you can bet your 401K that he brought up the transgender bathroom issue. I felt like my brain wanted to puke. Again it was verbal cancer, the dude sucks.

After that we had our fifth Sunday lesson from two senior missionaries, something about finding people to convert. Honestly it was so shallow, befriending people, only for the sake of conversion.

Following that, we went to our class hour. Singles Ward is very strange. You choose one of three classes to attend. There is Mission Prep, Gospel Principle, and Gospel Doctrine. I chose Gospel Doctrine because I had no clue what was going on.

I ended up sitting next to this girl that looked like the bastard child of Peter Dinklage and a Super Mutant from the Fallout video game series. She was also pretty nuts.

I ended up tuning out and playing the mobile equivalent of Cards against humanity. 4:00 o clock rolled around and I went home.

Again thank you guys for all of your support, you guys are the tops!

I wish I had stories like that, but my BYU ward seemed fairly normal for a Mormon echo chamber. Sometimes, if the discourse got particularly egregious, I went home (not 100 m from the meeting place).

Which app do you us. Never played but on the local talk radio John is got the whole crew doing the game on live air. Sound totally fun.

Evil Apples

Looking forward to further installments :-)

Keep 'em coming

Tom in Paris

You are going to have so much material to choose from in a YSA ward!

Looking back, I really did waste those sundays. On every level, I wasted them. First off, I wasted them at church. Secondly, I wasted the church experience because I didn't mess with them. Darn it!

Keep-'em-coming-ly yrs,

S

just to get the material. Will anyone out you if you just disappear for a few hours without actually going to church?

Yes, many people would actually. My mom keeps tabs with certain people

Oh my gosh! Exmo Aspie, you are hysterical!!

I didnt know i was that funny