So yesterday I popped in to Wal-Mart for a few groceries and I'm in the produce area when an older woman comes wheeling up in scooter buggy and almost runs me over. She says something about it being her first time operating the thing and not quite having the hang of it. I grabbed the intended green peppers and moved out of her way. From her looks she appeared to be Mormon and then she opens her mouth again and I hear the sing-song lilt and recognize it immediately. She started saying something about it wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that she has to get on and off of it to get what she wants as she tried to edge closer to the produce....and that is the point when I was just trying to escape with my heels intact. I thought about turning back to help her, just as a kind decent human being thing to do, but then the ex mo flight and flight fast kicked in. I have no desire to communicate with them, but at the same time want to be a decent human being.

What would you have done? And what have you done in situations like this?

(And keep in mind I am an INFJ and am really good at judging books, maybe not by their cover, but when I get the introductory forward I can see the table of contents pretty clearly ;o) )

This INTJ would have headed for the hills. Not my circus not my monkey.

In my book, her comments mark her as "active passive", more commonly known as passive aggressive. She didn't ask for help directly. By her stating that it was her first time on the scooter and how it sucks to get off and back on the thing, she's hoping to appeal to your "good nature" and that you'll help without her having to ask. (i.e. she's passively trying to get you to activate to solve her problems)

Maybe that's not what she was really trying to do, but that's what it sounds like to me.

I'm an introvert myself. If she had asked for help directly, I might have. I don't do passive aggressive anymore, so I probably would have kept my heels as far away from her as well.

Lord knows I've tried, but I just can't run in heels!

But it's all the rage right now, haven't you seen Jurassic World?

Jurassic World - High Heels Edition:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RZi6NCuLbQ

Yes, my thoughts exactly. Stop with the hints already and just come out and ask. When I was safely out of range of being run over I turned and looked back and she was getting what she wanted by herself and a few seconds later went whizzing by never to be seen again.

I would have helped her, but I used to use a scooter when I was on crutches, so I know what it's like. It would be a kindness to reach things for someone on a scooter. Or, volunteer to go find one of the store "grabbers" for her (a grabber is a mechanical device that helps someone get things from a high shelf.)

Someday you may be the one looking desperately around for someone to help you.

disconnect the battery cable on her scooter and walk away. :)

*wink*

In fire drills at the school where I taught, we learned not to sacrifice our own safety because we couldn't help frighted or hurt children if we were hurt or unconscious.

I think if you're traumatized being around extreme TBMs it's fine to avoid them for now. Save your inner strength and use it wisely.

I'm sure the lady was able to manage.

I think if she needed help, she could ask it of another customer or a store employee.

THIS. She needs to be responsible enough to ask the store employees for help, rather than leaning on strangers. They are trained professionals, while another shopper has their own schedule and needs to meet.

I would have helped her. Just because she may be a mormon doesn't

mean good manners are out the fucking window. She's not Satan.

I would have done as the OP did, split! This will sound pretty mean, but I have to say it...

I've had too many people glom on to me because I wanted to be nice and not hurt their feelings. It's a terrible burden. I do not have the strength to take care of all the down trodden people around me.

I got tired of always having to be the nice one. It was hard, but I had to start saying no. I'm not mean about it....I just smile and vaguely say something like, "yes, I'm sure it is difficult" and go on about my own business. However, if the woman asked me directly for help, I would help her, then quickly disengage. Not going to be instant best friends!

As far as being the one that needs help someday....well, I'm not going to be passive aggressive about, because that's not how I roll. I have no problem asking help from the store employees.
applesauce

I agree 100%. Thanks.