Update to this post: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1818480,1818480#msg-1818480

And this one: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1818618,1818618#msg-1818618

I sent the following text to the bishop. I will update again if anything else happens:


I have been debating how/whether to respond to your text. Ive decided that i need to address this directly and this way there is a record of it. Your text is inappropriate, to say the least. You want to see my cats?! You are a grown man with a family, a job, and a demanding calling and seeing my cats is on your to-do list? Not only that, but it's such a priority that you wouldn't wait until my husband was home to suggest it? It was out of line by itself, but in combination with the odd "gorgeous blonde" comments at the baptism (once to me directly, and a second time in front of everyone present, including my family and your wife) and the fact that my husband admits he has told you some of my past experiences with inappropriate and threatening "priesthood leaders," your actions are highly questionable. Any man in his right mind would know better than to suggest coming over when my husband is gone. But especially knowing what I've been through, that is really idiotic and insensitive at best, if not downright predatory. I do not want apologies, clarifications, or excuses. I dont know how you got my personal number, but you must delete it from your phone and any ward directories. I do not want anything to do with your church. Do not come to my home, do not approach me in public or private, do not respond to this text. Do not contact me in any way or form. Do not have anyone else contact me on your behalf. If you ignore my warning I will report you and I will not be discreet about it.

Perfect response. I don't know how you could be clearer. Hopefully this will stop his horrible behavior.

Excellent!

I bet I'm not the only one to believe you have not heard the last of this from him.

I have tremendous faith in the ignorance and hubris of believers in a sky daddy!

The only thing that would have absolutely sealed the door closed would have been sending cc's to your local police, the stake president and to the mother ship in SLC.

I might copy a lawyer and the man's wife.

Keep records.

Bish will prolly think "She is such a tease!"

It was perfect. But as AmIDarkNow points out, he may be the narcissistic type that would think, "Hm. 'No' means 'maybe.'"

Even better would be to send copies of his text to his MOTHER, assuming she's still a TBM (or alive for that matter).

Good for you! Did we ever find out if your son invited him over? I'm invested and I feel like I shouldn't be.

Best of luck in the future. I hope that this is the end of his grooming. I doubt that it will be the end of his career creeping.


http://*i4*9.tiny*pic.com*/3*5id6*o4.gif*

you will have to delete the *'s...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/26/2016 01:23PM by scaredhusband.

Great response.

Next step: Email blast of entire exchange to the whole ward, including his wife.

Kick ass. Love it.

I love it!

Excellent job setting firm boundaries.

Wow, that text wasn't even meant for me but I still felt my nads

shrink up into my body.

a sharp, well aimed kick right to the balls...with pointy shoes lined with razor wire for good measure. If that doesn't cure the beast nothing will. Well done.

That should cool his jets a bit.

Tell him to stay away from your cats too! Don't send yarn balls or string, don't bring a feather on a stick, no catnip filled mice toys. Absolutely no contact with the cats.

Another poster asked too.....did you ever ask your child if they actually invited him over to see the cats?

Best of luck with this idiot. You're handling it well.

Excellent response. Keep us posted! Hopefully we hear nothing, cause in this case, no news is good news. Perverted, Narcissistic, Predatory men who are scorned often do not do well with rejection, so unfortunately, I would not be surprised if something else did happen, as other's have said..

However, best of luck!

If texting was around in the 1840's, you would have been sending this to Joe Smith...

Adding my 100% approval of the text, setting the boundaries loud and clear with no question of what you mean!
Mormons tend to have very lax boundaries, don't seem to know when they are out of order, and assume intent is always good. My reply to that is: hogwash!

squishy boundary disease...

I too am curious if your son invited him and if the bishop did something to manipulate him to do so

Love to have been a fly on the wall when he read your no-holds-barred response.

If he does take heed (we can hope), who knows if your action might save others. To be honest, I don't hold out a lot of hope as there is not much of a track record for these people doing an about face.

excellent job!

I think he'll sweat this out for awhile, and then he'll try to do some damage control and PR. He'll start w/ your husband by calling him in to a PPI. He'll apologize profusely for the misunderstanding. He'll feel your husband out per se'. I doubt he'll bother you ever again.

Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
"If texting was around in the 1840's, you would have been sending this to Joe Smith...".

Very funny! Joe certainly had problems with keeping his hands to himself. How did his wife put up with it?

well, JS said Emma tried to poison him.

And William Law says Emma propositioned him...

Exmoron brings up a good point of what he might do in reaction. He can make your life miserable, and yet have no future contact with you.

Think back to the days of JS and what he did to women who rejected him. He publicly trashed their names with the might of the church behind him.

I agree with some of the previous poster. Make a preemptive strike and trash him first by forward it or posting it to people who know him. Plus an attorney. I wouldn't consider it just being on your phone a "record". But if others have it and have seen it...there you go.

A number of other friends have the screenshots of all the texts.

I asked my son and he said the bishop was talking to him at church and my son mentioned that we have cats. The bishop told him that he would like to come see the cats. So just to be sure I said, "So it was the bishop's idea to come over and see them?" My son said yes, and that was the end of my discussion with my son.

About an hour after I sent e text to the bishop, my husband called and said, "The bishop texted me and said that you had texted him and it was very serious and we need to meet and discuss some things. What did you text?" I asked, what, he didnt tell you? Nope. Aparently he just said i sent a text and it was serious and didnt reply (yet) to my husband's attempts to find out more informtation. I forwarded the text to my husband so he could read it. I told my husband,"I know you think I'm overeacting, but he needs to be told. There needs to be a record of this. After all ive been through and the times I regretted not standing up for myself, I needed to take a stand. I wish you were outraged. If it were anyone else I know you would be, I think its only bc of a desire to defend the church that you are discounting this behavior. This guy is either an idiot or a pervert. Either way, his behavior needs to stop. I have said everything I need to say. I am not meeting with him under any circumstances. You can meet with him if you want, but I'm not interested in hearing his justifications or rationalizations." My husband understood and agreed that what I did was good, although he wished I hadnt written so harshly. I responded that it was deliberately written that way to avoid any possibility of misunderstanding, and to avoid any back-and-forth texting. Also, it is very specific in case I ever need to show those texts to law enforcement. There is no question that he has been warned.