I have a younger brother who is on a mission. He's been out for a year, and sent an email indicating he's been re-examining his beliefs while his companion was sick with salmonella. I sent him this email in response:
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Dear Little Brother,

I just got your email from Mom. Sounds like you had a week of forced introspection...better than having salmonella, I suppose. I once got salmonella from eating a Diary Queen hamburger while driving from California to Virginia, and spent the next several hours stopping every 20 minutes or so and puking on the side of the road. Not fun.

Introspection, on the other hand, can be a good thing in the long run. It leads you to examine your beliefs, to look at things you've taken for granted and reevalute them thoroughly. But it can be difficult and painful to take a dispassionate look at the beliefs you hold dear and try to see them with clarity.

This is because of something called cognitive dissonance. This is the "bad feeling" you feel when two of your beliefs are in conflict with each other. It causes discomfort, confusion, and self-doubt. This is because you are trying to reconcile two ideas that cannot be reconciled, because they are mutually exclusive, and can't both be true. Unfortunately, cognitive dissonance will persist until you determine which idea is false.

It is scary to examine your beliefs thoroughly, especially if you believe that there are "some questions you just don't ask". There were many questions I was afraid to ask, many books and websites I was afraid to read, and many ideas I was afraid to entertain when I examined my beliefs. I had been told all my life that it was wrong to question, and that anything that didn't affirm my beliefs was "anti", and therefore false.

But I encourage you to be absolutely fearless in the examination of your beliefs. As Apostle J. Reuben Clark said, "If we have truth, it cannot be harmed by investigation. If we have not truth, it ought to be harmed." You are free to ask any question, read anything, and think any thoughts if you are searching for the truth.

Be bold. Take courage. Trust in yourself, and trust your intellect to lead you to the right conclusions. If you believe that the glory of God is intelligence, you must believe that He intended you to use that intelligence to find truth. Feelings and emotions are easily manipulated, unreliable, and are not evidence of whether or not something is true -- that is what your intellect is for. Use it, and it will guide you to truth.

In the end, only you can decide what is true. Your parents, your siblings (including me), your friends, and your church will try to influence your beliefs, but you are the ultimate judge. You may believe yourself to be "not extremely intelligent", and it's scary to realize that your decision about what's true is all that matters. But it is the most liberating experience in the world, and I wish that for you.

Love,

ExmoDaddy



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2016 10:52AM by exmodaddy.

I love it. You said it perfectly.

That letter was virtuoso. I will now need to buy a hat just so I can honestly say "hats off to you."

You walked a fine line with your brother here that would have made the wallendas take note.

The meat of that letter could be shared with any person who has doubts and questions. Love it. Kudos to you.

Very good way to phrase all this. I hope he takes it to heart. The very idea of not evaluating what you know or what you think you know is just dumb. The fact that the LDS church instructs you not to self-examine is proof enough of an attempt to hide unwelcome truth.

Great letter!

I'm joining the fan club here too. Great letter!

"But I encourage you to be absolutely fearless in the examination of your beliefs."

BAM!

Very nicely stated. Good job :)

Great letter. Perfect phrasing, and excellent use of an apostolic quote to help plant the seeds.

My sister is on a mission, and while I think her experience overall has been enjoyable, I think she has struggled with depression and anxiety issues (far too common among missionaries), and I wish I had the nuts to send her a letter like this. Unfortunately, she had never demonstrated any indication of disbelief in the church, so such a letter would go over her head if it didn't offend her.

That's great that you have a sibling who might be ready to learn the truth about what he is devoting 2 years of his life to do, though. If only all of our families were so lucky.

The "questions you just don't ask" are exactly the ones we SHOULD ask.