http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/13/books/john-bradshaw-self-help-evangelist-dies-at-82.html?ribbon-ad-idx=2&rref=obituaries

Many here, myself included, followed his work on dysfunctional families, and I know I incorporated his ideas into much of what I brought here early on. Bradshaw himself was raised in an alcoholic home, and there are significant parallels between that dysfunction and the über Mormon upbringings that people discuss here.

The rules within those households included the theme, "Pay no attention to the elephant in the living room," and translated into "Don't Talk," "Don't Trust," "Don't Feel," and "Don't Make Waves."

I hope people will ignore that snarky "evangelical characterization"; Bradshaw's view of the Almighty was loosely defined, and he denounced rigidity and control in one's thinking. He was also well-educated in the state-of-the art psychology of the time, and I suspect the Freudian "gurus" who held sway back then created a lot of the resistance he encountered. Freud, of course, was quietly tossed under the bus when the actual history of his discarding his "Seduction Theory" was offered up, and Bradshaw included child sexual abuse discussions in his seminars.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/13/2016 12:37PM by SL Cabbie.

Oh noooooooooooooo. His books were my bible for a long time.

He shall be missed.

Learned so much from his books and lectures.

Family systems, the roles each of us play- star, scapegoat, peacemaker, etc; the themes that repeat themselves across generations - incest, alcoholism, suicide, etc. ; amazing insight he had to the human condition.

Thanks for posting Cabbie.

PS It would have been fascinating to hear him discuss "Shame-Based" Mormonism . . .



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/13/2016 01:27PM by Twinker.

The difference between Overt religion and Covert religion.

Mormonism is a very Overt religion. "We are the best. We are the only ones. We have the answers. We belong to the right club. You should be like us."

Covert religion is nonjudgmental and is private. It guides, comforts, gives one courage and strength.

He helped so many by teaching them the real reason they felt crazy (especially around family), but couldn't figure out why.

My TBM mother absolutely refused to read anything he wrote. She said she didn't want to know. It's really too bad. She's spent her life devoid of relationships that could have brought her a lot of joy and comfort in her older years.

True love heals and affects spiritual growth. If we do not grow because of someone else’s love, it’s generally because it is a counterfeit form of love.”
― John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You

“Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can become highly addictive.”
― John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You

One of my favorite books is The Family.

A pioneer to many in understanding family dynamics. He'll be missed.