I left the holy city a few years back, ok, more like ran like hell. I first planned my escape at 5 years old. Bookish nerdy girls never fit in to the homogeneous Mormon expectations of women.

Long story short, I got stuck as an adult for awhile but made my escape to attend grad school. I can't find a paying job. At this point I am unable to pay my rent in three weeks. I have been looking for months. I have done side gigs and applied for COUNTLESS side gigs and gotten nothing. What I did get was solicitations to work for free with a vague promise of maybe having it lead to a paying gig. I found an ad on Craigslist for a "foot model" and I was seriously tempted. It's gotten that bad.

My school has been ZERO help and they constantly send alums unpaid internships for which we are completely unqualified.

I have taken my degree off of my resume and sent it out. Nobody hires in person any more. The jobs I am applying for now are $8-12 per hour. Considering the average rent in Southern California is about 2K a month this is laughable. Everyone I graduated with is living off of their parents, in their thirties. What the hell is going on? One girlfriend whose parents are extremely poor bought a broken down motor home and is living in it around LA. I have multiple homeless encampments within 1 mile of my home and they're growing. When I go to the gym there are women carefully washing their underwear in the showers and dying their hair. The homeless have jobs here, at least most do.

I feel like when I start a job people hire me because I look "nice." They even describe me as a "sweet girl." Never mind that I"m too old to be called a "girl" never mind that I have done some badass brave things in my life but my sweet little Mo face and something about my personality has kept me from being taken seriously. Google makes it impossible to escape what I look like or where I'm from.

What do I have to do, get a neck tattoo, shave my head and/ or start dressing butch? I am at a loss. I am seriously contemplating inventing a white male alter-ego, building his social media presence and applying for jobs.

I was a foster child and I reconnected with one of my parents for a while as an adult but they got extremely nasty and cut off all contact when I refused to return to the church. It was incredibly abusive anyway.

I feel like Mormonism has made a mark on my mannerisms and they way I value myself that I can't get past. People can smell my low self esteem from across the room. My girlfriends can't understand why I'm dating the men that I do. I stayed with an alcoholic who beat me for four years because I could only get a job that paid $3 per hour during the recession. Right now I have fallen in love with someone, in his 30's that lives with his parents.

WHAT THE FUCK WORLD????

I am so stressed my body hurts and I'm getting crazy immune disorder problems. I look perpetually unhappy every time I'm not concentrating on making a neutral face. It doesn't help.

I just can't be homeless again. It's been multiple times and I can't face it again but I'm starting to pack tonight because it's really happening. I applied for three jobs to teach preschool this morning and in the list of qualifications they required I can diaper children and clean up vomit. As a Mormon woman I am eminently qualified and have a breadth of experience in the field.

I am pathetic, part of it is the Mo countenance, part of it is the desperation people can smell.

Anyway, if you got to this point thanks for listening.

Are you in the same boat? Am I not alone? Do you think the recession NEVER ended because I do. Does the world refuse to hire women in livable wage jobs or just Mo, sweet faced women? It's been like a decade since I left. I live on caffeine and I drink, not much but come on, I try to fit in.

END RANT
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I'm a nevermo and I feel your pain. Today is the 14th anniversary of my last graduation day. I have three degrees I've never really used and a blog I call The Overeducated Housewife because that's what I've become.

I am not homeless because I got married to a great guy who happens to be an ex Mormon. We went through some very tough financial times when we first got married because he was recovering from his disastrous first marriage.

As time has passed, things have gotten a lot better for us, but it's taken a lot of self-discipline and patience. It helps that my husband is retired military and gets a pension. Also, when he retired, we were also open to living wherever the money is. Right now, that's Germany.

Thanks to his ex's request that my husband get snipped, we have no kids to support (because his disowned him for not being LDS). We're doing fine now, but I worry all the time about what will happen if my husband loses his job, becomes disabled, or dies.

I don't think your situation really has much to do with Mormonism. I have a few friends who are in the same situation you're in and they are not LDS. I think what you describe is just the sorry state of the world right now. It's gotten harder to survive and for some people it's harder than it is for others. I would imagine having been a foster child is one way it's harder for you. On the other hand, maybe that experience has made you more resilient? I don't know.

Anyway, I definitely empathize. You may have to do something drastic to get out of the situation you're in. One thing I did that changed my situation was joining the Peace Corps. I moved abroad for two years on the government's dime and learned new skills. That may not be a good solution for you, though. The point is, you might need to think beyond the obvious to change things.

I wish you luck. Venting helps.

I agree with Knotty, it probably has a lot more to do with the economy than with you. Things have been out of whack since the recession. Pay that used to be reasonable doesn't stretch as far as it used to. I was complaining to a colleague yesterday -- "I have my bachelor's, I have my master's, I have 20 years in the teaching profession. Why can't I go out to see a movie or to a chain restaurant? Why am I suddenly counting every last penny?" A 40-ish friend of mine who has a community college degree and a skilled trade is living with family. So it's not just you, although it's hitting low income earners and recent graduates the hardest.

Did you finish your master's degree? Can you tell us your major and/or field? My suggestion would be to apply for federal government jobs. The federal government has jobs for college graduates in a wide range of fields. There are jobs across the country, but many of course are in Washington, D.C. (which is a great place for young people.) It may not be exactly what you wanted to do, but it would be a stable career path.

You may have to think about relocating. California is over-crowded and expensive. Many people are competing for jobs out there.

When you interview, make eye contact, shake the interviewer's hand firmly, and deepen your voice a bit. You will get hired, but it may take some time.

I agree with the others, it doesn't sound like a Mormonism problem. More like a struggling economy problem, that has caught you (and others) up in the middle of it.

It has to suck for you.

I'm in Oil & Gas and working in Houston. Things are brutal here in that sector right now.

When I accepted my economic fate (at age 60) I did the only thing I could: I left the Northern Hemisphere. If I lived in the U.S. now I'd be in a shelter or under a freeway overpass.

Oddly, despite the challenges of showing up alone with two suitcases, a backpack, and a few hundred bucks in a country where I didn't (and still mostly don't) speak the language and knew absolutely no one, things have worked out. It's not for everyone, but if somebody as flawed as I am can make a go of it, you might want to toss it around in your head over a cup of coffee sometime.

One thing I've noticed is that, even when I'm not working (which is most of the time) I still need to keep busy to keep from going insane. My days are filled with studying Spanish and helping folks out as a volunteer or just informally. I think it's hugely important to stay busy when we're not bringing in a lot of money. Also it's a form of networking; I've found a couple paying gigs through my volunteer stuff.

I don't think the Mormon vibe has an effect one way or the other. Just keep doing your best, try to be a decent adult-type person (punctual, sober, patient, etc. etc.--you know the drill) and don't let past burdens weigh too heavily on your soul.

Agree. It may be time to get out of town so to speak.

Maybe try the Peace Corps.

Maybe teach English as a second language.

Maybe be a Nanny overseas.

If there is someone you can stay with for a short agreed on time until you get something lined up then do that.

One thing is for sure, it's time to leave town.

I've been teaching English down here, and it's great. There's a huge demand in many countries. It's a great way to meet people--I met my wife in one of my ESL classes. Folks are incredibly appreciative, which goes a long way toward making me feel okay about myself when other stuff gets me down...

Depends on the hiring manager :)

I've passed on resumes that referenced mormon missions, but that's less about the fact that they were mormon and more about the lack of professional maturity in thinking a mormon mission was relevant work experience...

I have it on my resume, only because it explains a 2 year period of my life. A blank 2 years is a red flag to others, so its a win/lose deal to include it.

You could just get a bit creative about it and call it something different. I had it on my resume when I first got into the workforce and it worked to my advantage since my hiring manager was a mormon. He hired me on the spot, and I clearly failed to disclose at that time that I had already exited the church :)

I'm not bothered by it at all. I have no need to delete it, or change it.

If my firm hand shake, winning smile, and PhD in Physics can't overcome a stupid Mormon mission on my C.V. then I have bigger problems than that. LOL

True story!

in Alaska. It seems they do have jobs available still for this summer. She has tried to get other jobs down here in the lower US and she can earn more working for Princess for 5 months than she can for a year.

Other than the economic situation, it might be like bullying or stalking, in that some people are targeted more for it e.g. Taylor Swift. I've heard social workers and people in security say this, and I've been meaning to find out more about it. I know people make all kinds of false assumptions about me, and it's exhausting just trying to define myself. There are body language experts, but there's nothing you can do if it has to do with your gender, race, or any other prejudices/socialization employers may have.

Don't know if these are good analogies, but I hope everything works out for you.

I don't think it's the Mormon thing. I think it's the economy. Things are bad for young people who have graduated recently from college.

I agree with the advice to consider living somewhere cheaper.

You might also consider ways to widen your circle of acquaintances. A lot of times it's not what you know, but who you know. So, for example, maybe attend a church like Unitarians (they aren't churchy). Or find a place to do volunteer work. Heck, even work for a political campaign (ugghhh).

FWIW, it's not you, and it's not Mormonism. The L.A. job market sucks mega ass even for those with advanced degrees.

There are other areas of the country that are doing much better. I've read that North Dakota is doing very well. Google around for which cities have the lowest unemployment rates.

If (for whatever reason) you MUST stay in SoCal, you can find a less expensive place. There are free guides for apartment hunting in sidewalk newsracks and grocery stores, and of course there's always the Internet. Maybe your BF can move out of the basement and split the cost, or you can find a place with roommates.

It is most definitely the economy and NOT you. This is a sadly common phenomenon nowadays. My brother is in his late 30s, college-educated with a degree from a respected university, and although he does work most of the time, his employment is seasonal and contract-based (in Hollywood). He may work 18-hour days, six days a week for several weeks but then get nothing for two months. He has a union, but if goes without a job for a certain length of time, through no fault of his own, he loses all of his union benefits like health insurance. All of his colleagues are in the same situation.

So, even for many people who are employed (or under-employed) it's a tough economy. Employers are turning more and more to interns, contractors (who can be let go at any time and usually receive no benefits), part-timers., etc. It's the new normal for much of the American workforce, unfortunately.

Sorry--I realized what I've written sounds pretty bleak, but I wanted to emphasize the point that it doesn't sound to me like your situation is in any way your fault. It just sucks for millions right now.

Amazing... so many of us had to leave the USA in order make a decent living.

When my husband was finishing his Army service back in 2014, we were living in San Antonio, TX. We were sure he'd find a job there and that's where we'd settle. He barely got a nibble in Texas and certainly not for anything he really wanted to do full time. He did get an interview with Price Waterhouse that looked promising, but he was too "old".

We wanted to go back to Germany, but never dreamed we'd be able to. It worked out perfectly and we'll stay as long as they let us. Of course, after this year's election, things may change for us and we might have to move again.

The funny thing is, my husband has actually ended up working with one of my former Peace Corps colleagues through his work with the US military in Africa.

Unfortunately the economy here in the U.S. has a lot of us struggling to find decent jobs. I graduated in 2011 with a degree in Elementary Education and still have not been able to find a job in that field. I am working at a major chain craft store in my hometown and will be returning to school in August to get my Associate's in Applied Science in Medical Office Administration.

I am curious on what field you got your master's in and if you would be willing to look else where. Southern Cal is definitely an expensive place to live. I highly doubt any employer is going to know that you were a Mormon in the past unless you went to BYU at one time or if you put that went on a mission on your resume.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I've already done most of it.

I am a Unitarian. It hasn't helped. They're nice folks that all have jobs at JPL and CalTech. Ask them for a job and they want to know if you have a PhD in physics. They all have unpaid interns and grad students to do the jobs lackeys used to do.

I <3 nerds. I have an MFA in art. I'm academically published. I have film credits for videography and producing (although I barely know what I'm doing and it was for free) I've had numerous professional accomplishments but unfortunately nobody wants to pay for art and we all have to fund ourselves. I've run (p- banned word) campaigns numerous times (that would be the $3/ hour job, the others were unpaid.) Believe me, the road in (p) is paved over the corpses of the "talented" but poverty stricken organizers. My friends who stayed in organizing have trust funds.The others are waiting tables or went back to school.

I have a destroyed digestive system to prove it after 3 years of living on the free bread at a food pantry. On the advice of a friend I purchased credits on a couple of aps that offer "gig" jobs. Nope, total fraud. 99% of the jobs on there are fake. 1 in 100 is another Schmuck working in the same field trying to figure out what everyone else is charging and why they aren't getting any jobs after paying to bid.

I've had photographs published in national publications and I'm academically published in an ACTUAL printed book. When I said bookish, I meant it. My health is too poor for the Peace Corps. The military rejected me 7 years ago. My doctor (first time having health insurance, thank you O-care) warned me I am on the verge of a heart attack, again. He said he thinks its all stress. I was rejected by the insurance for all of the medications I should be on for auto immune and stress. Again, thanks O-care! (the "o" word is banned and considering it's ubiquitous for a certain healthcare program on the right and left it's silly)

They will pay for every almost psychiatric drug you can think of.. oh and Viagra, don't forget that.
I'm in Southern California because it's one of my best options for my field. The only other place in the states to go would be New York and I can't live outside there.

I have spent the last 4 months applying for contracts with the feds and a few jobs. Not even a phone call. Some send a form email rejection.

I feel a little better knowing that you guys are seeing it in the economy too. It seems like everyone around me is meeting for lunches and going to spas, getting iced coffee and decompressing on beaches in Mexico. I spent all of undergrad and grad watching other people eat food in front of me pretending that I just wasn't hungry. I still do that when networking on a Friday night. I have cut my own hair since I was a child. I felt rich when I didn't have to apply for financing to have a cavity re-filled this year.I've never left the country. I've never had a massage and I dream of buying food other people make. Hell, I just dream of buying food period. My "vacations" are walks and reading a book. I can't even afford the gas to get anywhere. I would sell my car but it's much safer to sleep in than a tent. It keeps me from being raped and I can move stuff around in it. I drove UBER in it for awhile. I made about $10 per hour before buying gas or paying taxes. If I worked more than the 20 hours per week of peak drive times that goes to $7 per hour. I put about 800 miles on it per week. Again, I was basically paying UBER to work for them and getting felt up by scary a** drunk guys at 2 am. It was an adventure.

The panic attacks for the last month have kept me from networking but it wasn't helping anyway. Women aren't connected enough to help me although their nice to talk to. 9 out of 10 guys in my field who are well connected just try to sleep with me. When they realize I don't put out all of those friends and connections they said they had mysteriously evaporate. They all have money and I don't. It feels like a big secret that nobody wants to share.

I thought education was my way out, a way up, a way to improve myself. When I couldn't get a job after undergrad and I was working 3-5 part time jobs at once I figured, hey, grad school, surely people will take me seriously then. It's the new job pyramid scheme. The professors helped a couple of super wealthy students get jobs. There isn't much to go around and they suck up to the ones with money. Yes, I've applied to teach college for $8/ hour, no I didn't get any of it.

"Volunteer" people said, it will lead to something paying. I was told working in politics would look good on my resume, prove I could do big things. I did it for years. The men got paying jobs, I got hugs. It only bled me dry. It was the advice everyone offered me. It has happened again and again. I know you mean well but volunteering leads nowhere professionally.

I've sent countless resumes to temp agencies. Nobody has called me. It seems as if I'm overqualified for everything and I don't have enough work experience for the rest. I just went through round 3 of applying for Trader Joes, Whole Foods etc. F@#$*** actors get all of the waiting jobs here- nobody wants a cranky book chic bringing them their macrobiotic, gluten free, vegan food on a well designed plate.

I had a temp job last year that worked me 60-80 hours a week on salary. I could have gone through more training and stayed but my health was crashing working so much and I didn't have the money to pay to go back to school. Again.

Old bosses all praised my work and insisted they would help me, introduce me etc. None of it ever happened. One spent almost a year stringing me along and trying to sleep with me. He still calls occasionally. Eww

I am so furious and tired. Neither is helping me keep a clear head. This feels like permanence. It's been 10 years of this. It was 2005 when I realized getting a new job was nearly impossible. The recession hit the unskilled workers before anyone else realized what was happening. I can no longer hope myself past this. I have tried so many things, so many different ways.

At least I'm not pregnant and married to an abusive Mormon man anymore. I'm going to go take a walk.

Have you applied to be a gofer or production assistant for a film or TV company? I know a couple of people who are now producers who started at the very bottom and worked their way up.

If all else fails there are arts related jobs with the federal government. I applied for one such job many years ago, but then decided to go in a different direction.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/10/2016 06:57PM by summer.

It's not just Mormonism, but while the economy has improved slightly, it's still hard for those with even advanced degrees to get hired. It's especially hard for those who just graduated from college, as they're competing against those that were laid off after years of experience.

The only places that really are hiring are temp agencies, which might be good in that you get some experience, in the long run, you're just back where you started. The reason for that is that companies often don't want to have permanent employees because they don't want to have to pay for things like health insurance, sick days, or retirement plans.

Cash Flow. Small companies can't afford to pay benefits to everyone. To get benefits you have to add enough value to the company where you are pulling in revenue to cover your benefits.

I pay all my full time employees decent health insurance benefits and vacation,

Thanks Boomers...

Try many of the same issues at 80 years old like me. I squeeze every nickle until the buffalo does do do

I'm in San Diego and trying to hire an accountant/bookkeeper part time. I can't find anyone that I trust to hire, it seems the economy is actually booming here. A few years ago I had my pick of candidates, now only people with questionable backgrounds, poor English skills or illegal aliens are interested in the job now.

You might look into who is getting hired and get some relevant skills.

Sorry to hear your plight...talk about triggers...us old jokers have been there a few times sad to say...not sure how your child rearing skills are...ive had a couple daughters and a niece or two have done AU PAIR for a couple years...pay is decent...oftimes a live in suite...people are screened and all my kids have worked for very amazing upper class people without the snobbery...they place people all over the country...should be a gig in californis i would think...mostly its being a parent to kids whose parents are busy doing career stuff etc...might be worth a look...idk your sitch...desperation has made fools of us all at sometime...we could do a prayer vigil but lost keys are a thing...gawds a busy guy...one daughter actually had her school paid for by the appreciative couple she worked for...try to stay positive...i know its dam hard...i have learned you keep throwing shit at the barn door...some is gonna stick...hope things turn around for you

Try www.guru.com. Some people get regular gigs out of it.

Colorado is set to create a new “marijuana transporter” license

or

"Weed Courier"

probably could make some decent coin hauling herb all over the state

worth a look?

In my late 20s I was living in a Rust Belt state, working a job that paid just over minimum wage at the time. This job required at least an AA degree, and I had a bachelor's.

Like you, it was in an art-related field, but it was on the technical side of things. I thought it would be more marketable. It was, but the work was quickly disappearing due to technology changes.

Repeat: Rust Belt state. A whole lot of unemployed former factory workers, willing to work for anything they could get. Wages were low and jobs were scarce. I felt like I would never make anything of my life. I also had student loans and no family support.

Here's what I did:

First: Community college. I chose a program that I wasn't in love with, but that built on skills I knew I had. I built technical skills. Those, far more than creativity, academic credentials, or the abstraction called "work ethic," will get you employed. In your case, it would mitigate the BYU degree as well.

Second: Complete career change. I recognized the writing on the wall and saw that I would never make a living in the field I trained for. So I trained for something that matched the decent-paying jobs in my area.

Third: Constant career building. You are never done reinventing yourself. The career I trained for and entered in my 30s has been left in the dust. I took those skills and built on them to become qualified for my current job, which pays middle-class wages.

It helped that housing was relatively affordable where I was. Get out of LA if that's where you are, but don't move somewhere that has no employment base.

Good luck.