Latter day Saints stood all amazed and and were hied to Kolob when a church spokes-Elder confirmed with a lying on of hands at a press conference that due to huge worldwide demand the church shop on Temple Square will now stock a vast range of goods (with worldwide franchises) (plus sales tax and tithing tax) including mugs, BOM leather cover with portrait, signed photographs, locks of hair and under-the-counter relics, T-shirts, bibs, Dodo-motif bandanas, ties, socks, the full handbag of ladies' sanitary products, CDs and blue-rays of conference speeches, and top-notch library learned pictures with optional halo.

Flocks of fans are asked to decease swamping Dodo's secretary's switchboard (a nice lady called Laura and bribable with large slices of cake) and begging for signed photographs of the stand-out Mormon Intellectual Superstar. Reputed fluff from the belly-button of the Dodo was said to be offered on ebay this week for many hundreds of millions of Kirkland Bank dollars.

Dodo Holland has the biggest penishood authority since Joseph, and the closest you will get to holding fast to the rod is phials of piles of dust from the carpet on which the Giant has walked.

Rumours are rife that we could well see the Dodo hosting next year's Oscars. A man's man. A ladies' man. A member of indeterminate gender man.

Go, go, Dodo!

What the hell are you talking about?!

"Mormon Intellectual Superstar"

Not a deep thinker by any means, but he's actually very good at using images or analogies to make his point. (Some would say to confuse the issue.) If you've grown up on high council speakers, listening to him is like hearing Cicero himself in the Roman Forum.