My BIL just recently wrote some pretty inflammatory stuff about my sister. The BIL has a a survivalist, end-times blog that has sort of a cult following. No one with a rational mind actually pays much attention to the guy, but I stumbled into one of his recent blog posts after someone pointed it out to me and just about lost my ****.

To preface this: My sister is one of the sweetest, most selfless people I know. She has been a mother of five wonderful children. Her third child tragically passed away as a baby from SIDS. Her two oldest children left the church, and the BIL has done nothing but push them away from their family. My sweet sister is heartbroken over this, but is a relatively codependent women in a narcissistic marriage.

Anyways, he recently posted that the baby's death could have been the result of some divine punishment due to a lapse in my sister's faith over some issues she supposedly had with Joseph Smith's polygamy. He then goes on to imply that all of the hardships she has experienced throughout her life were a result of "stubbornness of heart".

He then goes on to compare marrying my sister and finding out about her supposed doubts to marrying a "tranny" disguised as a woman only to find out she is transgender. This is HIS OWN WIFE he is discussing on a PUBLIC blog. I am more than enraged, and want nothing more than to remove my sister from this abusive relationship.

The link to the post is below. Please let me know if I am overreacting. If you have any advice for me as how I should respectfully intervene, please let me know.


http://woodyoubelieveit.blogspot.com/2016/03/joseph-smith-and-polygamy-genetic.html#comment-form

I would tell her that what her husband is saying about her on a public blog is abusive and disrespectful, and if she ever wants to leave her marriage you will help her to do so.

I do not have words vile enough to express my disgust for that imbicile. I have no idea how you resist violence.

Google emotional abuse. There are some checklists. If possible, get your sister to look at the list and then talk to her (even on phone). I did that with my daughter, and she said "Oh my gosh, almost every single thing on that list is what he does." She was out of the relationship in two weeks.

I realize that it is not so simple when children are involved.

One thing that helped, she and I had just been traveling for 5 weeks and she was away from his control and got a little perspective.

I sure hope your sister can shed this blood sucking leach.

how are these two people married to each other!!! your brother in law sounds arrogant self righteous ass hole. Hopefully you sister knows about this. I'm sorry you are having to worry about her situation.

as, a side note, if your sister's testimony of Joseph Smith was strengthened by reading "Fate of the Persecutors of the Prophet Joseph Smith," it should be mentioned that claims made in that book have been thoroughly debunked. From the Deseret News:

"Debra Marsh, a master's student at the University of Utah, presented evidence Friday that the members of the Illinois mob that sought to put an end to Mormonism at Carthage Jail didn't rot away because of 'the Mormon curse,' as N.B. Lundwall claimed in his book, 'The Fate of the Persecutors of the Prophet Joseph Smith,' but went on to live normal lives."

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705377262/A-different-take-on-the-Carthage-mob----BYU-Studies-Symposium.html?pg=all


And Marsh's research helps confirm earlier findings of none other than now-apostle Dallin H. Oaks, who coauthored a book decades ago debunking the idea that those responsible for the lynching of Joseph Smith suffered hideous fates. Oaks' books is titled "Carthage Conspiracy: The Trial of the Accused Assassins of Joseph Smith."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/01/2016 03:42AM by lurking in.

I left the following comment on his blog. Highly doubtful he'll post it, but at least he'll read it. I am so sad for your sister.

"I am gobsmacked that you had the temerity to publicly post such demeaning words about your wife. You are not a good Mormon man. You, sir, glorify in your own perceived righteousness. You are anything but. Perhaps instead you should promptly get on your knees and pray for a large dose of humble. Maybe someday the Good Lord Above will see fit to return your Priesthood Keys. In the meantime, I will pray your wife happens on to these words so at the very least she will know the truth of what she married. I hurt for your wife and am sorry for your children."

I used language that he would understand.

He sounds dangerous.

All he needs to do is get just a little bit nuttier and your sister could end up "missing."

I have no doubt she has been gaslighted.

What caused the baby's death?

SIDS is sudden infant death syndrome. There is no known cause of it. A healthy baby is put to bed and is found dead in the morning. Some things can increase the risk of SIDS such as parents who smoke and co-sleeping (according to the CDC).

My sister was in an abusive situation for a long time. For a variety of reasons, refused to leave him. I didn't push her but she always knew she would have my full support when she did. When she finally had enough, she called me first and I was able to help her. She has now been jerk free for three months. I think if I had pushed her too hard, she would not have turned to me to help her get out.

Send your misguided BIL a polite email. Inform him, taking care to "keep sweet," that he would be well advised to never write anything like that about your sister again.

Explain to him, in the kindest way, that if he ever does it again you will give him an opportunity to practice his survivalist skills. Gently help him to understand that ignoring your warning will result in you coming by and that his field test in practical survivalism will consist of trying to dodge eight rifled slugs as you "air out his blogger crib" with your 12 gauge magnum shotgun.

Follow that up with another lovingly worded advisory that any further unkind remarks about your sister, will result in a survivalist exercise consisting of him successfully dodging while you expend your remaining fourteen boxes of ammo.

He is extremely abusive, speaking about her this way :(. I hope she chooses to get away from him forever. I wasn't impressed by the comments either. I like that someone pointed out not to slander her, but the majority of the comment was on attending the temple. I get it, to purify oneself, but clearly your evil BIL thought his words were righteous. Shows his line of thinking is completely skewed from how normal, non abusive people speak to their loved ones. Then again, it sounds like he doesn't love her at all. I agree with the other person who said he sounds dangerous. He's already ripping her to shreds in his mind, whether his wife knows it or not.

What a disgusting person. Sounds like as ociopathic/psychopathic narcissist.

Mormonism seems to encourage this sort of person in their deluded self-belief, particularly males.

He doesn't deserve your sister - or indeed ANY happiness.

Tom in Paris

I posted he is a jerk for writing about his wife like that and a sad excuse for a priesthood holder.

He won't post it but he will read it

I agree with SoCal Apostate all the way! Reading what he wrote seriously made me want to barf! Sorta reminds me of some of the shit my self righteous lds family members say but this is even worse! Your poor sister I hope she can get away from this dirtbag she deserves a man who will treat her with respect! And no you are not overreacting at all that was absolutely disgusting of him to write I don't know what he was thinking writing shit like that ugh!

She's absolutely in an abusive marriage. I would let her know my feelings and offer her any support she needs. Until she's ready to leave this toad there isn't a whole lot you can do otherwise.

If she is dependent on him financially it will make it much harder to break away. She needs to know that she will have a place to live and will be SAFE if she leaves him.

"Anyways, he recently posted that the baby's death could have been the result of some divine punishment due to a lapse in my sister's faith over some issues she supposedly had with Joseph Smith's polygamy. He then goes on to imply that all of the hardships she has experienced throughout her life were a result of "stubbornness of heart".

He then goes on to compare marrying my sister and finding out about her supposed doubts to marrying a "tranny" disguised as a woman only to find out she is transgender. This is HIS OWN WIFE he is discussing on a PUBLIC blog. I am more than enraged, and want nothing more than to remove my sister from this abusive relationship."


All I gotta say is...WOW!!!

I would let your sister know. This is not a marriage of love, nor is his religion a religion of love..

Find out what resources are available in your sister's area for domestic abuse victims. There are shelters for women in abusive marriages like hers to get out, and do so without their spouse knowing their whereabouts..

She needs out. That is no way for a person to live. He is an abuser, and she is not safe.

One thing I would definitely do is archive his blog for any court proceedings; he chose to make it public, "it" being his mental state and public humiliation of his wife.

I doubt she is allowed internet access, and if she ever has the opportunity to challenge him in court, it would be interesting to hear him state that she wasn't allowed online, si couldn't have been humiliated.

I don't know how you can help her, because he definitely expresses ownership; those are the ones who feel that you are stealing their property, and would rather see her dead, than free. Please don't take this lightly. Archive, read and learn before confronting or acting. Any escape may have to be of the middle-of-the-night type, with a lawyer's advice because of the children.

First, you need to find out what she wants, privately. That can only he done in person, these days.

Good luck to you.

More than just an @$$ɧØⱢƐ, the man is like a walking bowel, spewing malodorous malarkey. The only difference is that a bowel is actually useful.

I don't agree with the advice to verbally or physically threaten him. He might be too crazy to meddle with in that way and it might be unsafe for your sister. Frankly, his thoughts were rather scattered and I don't think he's thinking straight.

I would also be very careful about what you say to your sister. I would try to contact her when he won't be around. Tell her what you found, maybe give her information about abuse and narcissism, and tell her that you'll help her out if she wants to leave, but don't pressure her. Can you ask her if he's been actually violent, because part of what he said about letting her have it when she spoke about JS made me wonder.

If there is a possibility of violence, she should ask for police to be there if/when she leaves.

I left a comment on the blog yesterday, but don't expect it to be made public, so I'll share it here:

"You should divorce your wife. She doesn't deserve a man like you."

Fortunately, most of us are smart enough to know when we hear something so outrageous it can't possibly be believed. People who have these ideas about sin, and punishment, and rewards, and try to figure out life on those levels will always be trying to make it all fit their imaginary score board.
We all probably have a few goofy ideas, most of which are harmless, but when those ideas are so extreme and destructive they infringe on family relationships, something needs to change and fast.
Really, people need to mind their own business.

Sick sick man. I hope you can get her away from him.

Please compare buddy's opening and the linked blog carefully.

It looks to me like BUDDY AND HIS BIL ARE THE SAME PERSON!

Yeah, because that is totally logical. It would be a great troll tactic, though.

He might actually get money from ads on his blog, so you do have a somewhat plausible theory. He is probably profiting a couple of cents every time one of you guys visits his blog. Oh well. The guy might need every penny he can get if my sister decides to hire a divorce lawyer, which I hope she does.

Thanks for the advice guys. I appreciate your concern.

The hardest part about this situation is that my BIL has moved his youngest two kids and wife to Canada from the States. He is the only one in his family who is a Canadian citizen as far as I know (my sister is not). She is also only allowed to be in Canada because of his citizenship, so I am not sure what would happen if she tried to divorce him there.

I do know that you need both parents' written consent to move kids across the border. So even if I could convince my sister to leave him, there would still be the issue of international parental rights. I'm not sure how that would work out. Getting her to shelters near and around where they live might be the best bet she has.

I will try to get ahold of my sister through her cell when I am pretty sure he is not around. Maybe I can say something that will help her wake up out of her Stockholm Syndrome.

A others have said, let her know that you are there for her. I would most definitely let her know what he has said about her, She is lucky to have you for support, and help in leaving him, should she feel the need. She is lucky to have you.

Did you save the text from the page? Apparently he deleted the post.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hague_Convention_on_the_Civil_Aspects_of_International_Child_Abduction

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_rights#Canada

Looks like freedom of religion is a fundamental human right in Canada, and the Hague Convention may not apply, but I would check with an attorney.