While getting dinner ready and dilldallying around on the inter-webz, BF is watching an Oscar worthy film, "Warlock." I don't know how the Academy missed this gem.

It brought up some memories I haven't thought about in a while and we were in hysterics for a bit. Like bowling over type laughing.

Some background info is needed here: My father is a ethnically mixed person that's pretty common here in the 4 corner states- Spanish, Dine, French, and some other NA tribal ancestry. He was raised Catholic with a lot of old world, pagan superstitions and is the seventh son of a seventh son. If you don't know what that means, it means he has super special metaphysical qualities.

He found a BoM on top of a dumpster one evening while he was taking out the trash (I think he worked at a bar at this time) read it, and was quite curious about the cult. Because the universe has a hilarious sense of humour, my mother was a missionary in this area at the time, converted and eventually married him.

In addition to the odd, creepy teachings *oops* I mean folklore, I was raised with some interesting stuff my father would tell me when my mom wasn't around.

Decades later when my parents divorced, my father told me a reason why he and my mother couldn't get along was because, "A warlock can never get along with a witch." Pretty sure he was serious, but you never know with that Dine humour.

So let's just assume my father really believes my mother is a natural witch for the sake of keeping my nutty upbringing narrative.

This kind of worldview crept into my brain while watching such classics as "The Ten Commandments" and "Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom." When the Egyptian priests turned their staffs into snakes, I couldn't understand that if HF was truly in control how anyone else could have any power, too. My witchypoo mother explained that "The followers of the Devil can have powers too, but HF's power will always conquer" which was clearly evidenced by Charlton Heston's snake eating the debbil snakes.

Several yars later, we were watching IJaTToD om the ABC Sunday Night Movie (who remembers those?) and I asked my parents again, "But HOW could man survive having his heart torn out and how could it still be beating?" Because it was my parents, they responded again, "The Devil can give a lot of power to his followers."

*sigh* I guess telling a child that "It's just a movie and not real" would send her on the path to critical thinking a little too soon.

So, what crazy things did YOUR parents tell you?

Itzpapalotl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So, what crazy things did YOUR parents tell you?

This was a great story of your early life, Itz!!! :D

So far as crazy things my parents told me, there are two that I'm still upset over...

1) When I was a little girl, my forehead had two prominent "bumps" on it, one on the left, and one on the right. As I grew up and my skull grew, both bumps gradually "disappeared" as the rest of my becoming-an-adult skull caught up to them (they're not there anymore), but while I was in elementary school I got teased a lot because of them. So one day I asked my Mom and my aunt: "What are these called?" My Mom (who often had a great sense of humor) immediately answered: "Oh, those are your INTELLIGENCE bumps," which my aunt instantly agreed with.

Awhile afterwards, I was in the school nurse's office dropping off something and she looked over at me and asked: "What is that on your forehead? Did you get hurt?"

"Oh, no," I said quite cheerfully, "...these are my INTELLIGENCE bumps."

[Think of the expression on Oliver Hardy's face if Stan Laurel had said this (Laurel and Hardy). THAT was exactly the school nurse's reaction to my dopey, Stan Laurel declaration.]

2) My mother warned me very sternly that it was an established medical fact that if you washed your hair during your menstrual period, your cramps during your NEXT period would be MUCH worse...so, when I was growing up, I was forbidden to wash my hair during my period. Yuck!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of witches, the Wicked Witch of the West was my first encounter seeing a witch on television as a very young child, in front of our first black and white television set - before my family owned a color TV.

Even in black and white she was terrifying.

After growing up and reading some of the commentaries on the Wizard of Oz she actually is the embodiment of the evil that exists in each one of us, if we let it dominate our being. When you're a little kid she was just scary.

I like the 'intelligence bumps' story, Tevai. My parents used to tell us the more lines you have on your forehead were from intelligence. Must be related to that somewhere in your family tree.

Dad used to tell us when we were very young to "put on our thinking caps." When you're very young (pre-school age to be exact,) saying that invoked pictures of a big yellow hard hat with flashing lights on top so you could be sure to know it was a honest to goodness thinking cap er hard hat.

Dad didn't need to describe it since I was so able to come up with my own imagery that suited me well. Never did find a literal thinking cap, though science may have developed some since.

Believing in Santa was another myth my parents embellished when we were small. It didn't harm us though, and we found out soon enough - but it was a nice fantasy for the very young that a benevolent grandfather type jolly old soul wanted us to be happy even if it was only one day a year, on Christmas.

What ancestry is Dine, btw? Is it slang for Dane by any chance?

No, it's the name for the Navajo tribe, kinda like how Lakota and Dakota are the actual names, instead of Sioux. Dine mean literally means The People, as does most tribal names. That's why I always start laughing when white people name their kids Cheyenne or Dakota, they're literally naming their child The People. XD Navajo comes from a Pueblo language meaning "large planted fields."

No, I don't speak the language, but have am familiar with some of it. I'm hoping to take the Navajo Language class here at the college and it means I will have to re-wrie my brain to be able to understand how the language is spoken. It's not like learning Espanol. (It's also supposed to have an accent on the e, but I can never remember how to do that.)

It sounds like your parents believed in phrenology. It's bunk psychology, but it's a lot of fun to play with at parties.