Posted by:
demoneca
(
)
Date: February 13, 2016 01:25AM
My friend got back from her mission a couple weeks ago. She's doing great! It's been nice to see her again.
Since she's returned, I decided to do an experiment. She's been inviting me to church, so I was curious to see if I'd view it differently as an adult a few years later and with a little more real life experience.
There's a huge difference in how I see TSCC now compared to before. I understand now what everyone on here was talking about, how Mormons tend to have a childish mentality. It's pretty weird and makes me uncomfortable. This mindset is prominent in YSA.
The members live, eat and breathe church. Every waking moment, every conversation, every thought is about church topics. I knew this before, but today it hit me like a ton of bricks just how cultish the practices are. It was too overwhelming. Other churches have boundaries and respect personal space. With Mormons, there is no time for personal time, because all personal time is spent reading scriptures, Ensign, etc. Everything is BoM 24/7. That would drive me crazy and I'd probably have a mental breakdown.
I see TSCC differently now, especially after being exposed to the wealth of valuable knowledge here on RfM. I always had underlying doubts about BoM doctrine, hence never joining. What I have learned makes me look at church from a skeptical, realistic point of view with no more of my teenager idealism in the mix. I can see the church for what it actually is, not for what it's pretending to be. I see it sucking excessive amounts of time, money, sweat and energy from its devoted members.
Going back helped me remember what worked for me at the time, why I ultimately chose to leave, and why I still don't want a baptism. This time around, I can pinpoint why certain aspects of the church are unsettling to me in a big picture kind of way. I'm unsettled beyond a personal level this time.
None of what I'm sharing is new to any of you on here. I just wanted to share because the contrast between how I viewed TSCC before and how I view it now is highly pronounced. It is an organization with a clear agenda. It relies on the deepest indoctrination of its members in order to thrive.