As members, many were threatened with all kinds of terrible things happening to us if we left "the only true church" usually with a list of calamities on this earth, and a nasty episode at The Judgement Bar, as if all kinds of failures weren't enough during our lifetime, there were more to come after we left the earth.

What kinds of threats were hurled at you?
Did any of them happen?

Did you loose family and friends?

How is your life like now that you are no longer "under the spell" of Mormonism. A term "lavaman" used that I like.

No. 1 with a bullet - Not having to live by anyone elses rule but your own.

RB

The only threats I received were that I would be miserable if I lost my faith, which couldn't be more incorrect. I feel liberated now that I'm free to follow my own path in my search for the truth.

Threats:

1. I would never be happy
2. My children would suffer and turn out bad
3. My marriage would not succeed
4. I would suffer financially without paying tithing
5. I'm going to hell

Benefits:

1: Been very happy. Been called the "Laughing American" When overseas before.
2: My children are well adjusted, empathetic, build friendships quickly, and are doing well in school.
3. My marriage is doing well, only 15 years this summer.
4. Financially I am the best off in my immediate family.
5. Since I've come to understand that mormon hell is where I want to be, not much of a threat.

Benefits from leaving
No more being a ward project
no more panic attacks about seeing the bishop SP etc.
no more nightmares about being on a mission

In many ways, I feel as though my life never really started until I left the church. I wasted 23 years of my life there.

Benefits:

1. No more cognitive dissonance - I don't have to walk around every day confused as hell, trying to figure out why reality doesn't match up with the church's world view.

2. Coffee - Oh my God ... Thank you God for Coffee.

3. Free time - No more wasting the precious few moments of my life in YADAPM ("Yet Another DumbAss Priesthood Meeting")

4. Garments - Oh my God ... Thank you God for nakedness.

5. Guilt - No, I am actually NOT responsible for all the whacked out shit that comes my way in life. It's just life. That's the way it is.

6. Home Teaching - More free time, less wasting time, nor more imposing on people in their homes, feeling like a jerk.

7. Scriptures - no more wasting my time reading bullshit (BoM).

I just can't adequately put into words how much HAPPIER I am now that I am no longer LDS. I know what's it's like to be alive. And it's marvelous!!

I highly recommend apostasy.

mormonrealitycheck Wrote:
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> 4. Garments - Oh my God ... Thank you God for nakedness.

They may not stop bullets but the cotton/poly is pretty dang comfortable

I didn't have to try and make stupid ideas make sense anymore.

I could embrace that fact and reality that Mormon theology really is just stupid and illogical.

There were plenty of dire predictions and threats (none of which materialized). The benefits list has been long:

Having control over my own thoughts, decisions, finances, underwear, and life

Having control over my own time and using it to please and benefit me and my loved ones (including glorious Sundays with coffee, football, and lounge pants!)

My life is no longer anyone/everyone else's business

Intellectual freedom (priceless!)

Coffee and occasional cocktails

My daughters are free to choose education and fulfilling, financially-rewarding careers instead of marrying at 19 and cranking out babies (or going on missions at 19, then marrying and cranking out babies)

My sons are free to choose education, work, and time to figure out what they really want in life rather than going on missions and getting married before they turn 21

Genuine friends with diverse beliefs and viewpoints; no more forced associations with frenemies who happen to live in the ward boundaries

No more pressure, guilt, and shame based on an impossible and contradictory list of requirements

Freedom to choose spiritual practices that actually help me -- and freedom to not have to market them to everyone else

I shudder to think of losing 10% of my income to that awful church. Sundays were so draining and now I have 2 day weekends instead of just 1.

Those are the tangible benefits. Intangibles are:
the ability to think for myself without feeling guilty; friendships based on mutual respect, not common beliefs;
not having to defend ridiculous ideas and offensive "policies";
the ability to say "no";
being in a relationship with someone I love and not worry about it being approved by some old white man.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/05/2016 05:16PM by axeldc.

Definitely #1 and 2 for tangible benefits

The sound and smell of my flatulence is much more pleasant and desirable.

10% increase in income and sundays off.

freedom from the "you'll never be good enough" culture.

my 80 year old mother, who would never hurt a fly, still lives in mortal fear of somehow being cast into outer darkness.
pisses me off bad.

freedom from THAT

What's not to like?

I'd answer, but I don't have the time to write a book. ;-)

What Bondo said and being free from prying from leadership. My one last "prying" visit from the RS President was very satisfying.
She came over and was so sad I left because there was no way I could be happy.She entered my home and noticed the new art, and home office furniture. She asked if I had another job, I smiled and said no. She sat down on my new couch. She asked(in a sad tone) how I was doing, I smiled and said great. I told her about school and work. Also the incredible blessing extra money that came my way. I said for the first time I have an emergency fund. She said anyone can have extra money if they don't pay tithing. I smiled and said I do pay tithing. In fact, I paid about 15% of my income this year in tithing. Then I proceeded to tell her were it went in the community. I told her of my volunteer work in the women's prison, a clothing program, a week of building houses in Mexico, etc. I asked what they were doing. She looked down and said they were accumulating toiletries for a women's shelter(by the way, I am not putting that down). The point is Mormon's do not want to get out there and meet who they are helping.
She came in arrogant and feeling superior. She left with her tail between her legs.

Freedom from living a lie.

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." Friedrich Nietzsche

Goodbye to unearned guilt.
Hello Ca$h!

The benefit of leaving the cult of Mormonism is waking up in a field of dancing yellow daisies with nothing but your own whims and will and morality to answer to.

Gone are the headaches.

Gone are lost moments.

Gone are the sounds of Big Brother snarling over your shoulder.

Gone are the chains.

Peace and (unending and eternal) Happiness. The benefits are too numerous to mention. Losing the Steal Small Voice and gaining my Steel Gigantic Voice was the greatest, and most lasting, gratifying and useful discovery.

I received the usual threats of unhappiness and guilt.

What I lost:

I lost inauthentic friendships, fifty pounds and the feeling of never being good enough.

What I gained:

I gained a seven times increase in annual pay and more time with my family. I also gained freedom and the joy that comes with it. Being raised in the church, I didn't realize what freedom was until I experienced it by taking control of my own life instead of letting the church dictate my time, actions, underwear and finances.

I was told that nothing in my life mattered without "The Gospel".

I always felt these words from King Benjamin's speech applied to me, personally:
"And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth."
"For behold, if the knowledge of the goodness of God at this time has awakened you to a sense of your nothingness, and your worthless and fallen state—"

When I first read those words I sobbed and sobbed, believing I WAS nothing and worthless and that the only reason I had any good in my life, at all, was because God gave it to me and allowed it, even though I was far from worthy of it.
I believed this for 20 years.

The joy of discovering that I was SOMETHING, that I mattered, without some god, that my life was driven by ME, my hard work, my personality, my efforts, was one of the most important moments in my life.

I have discovered that EVERYTHING in my life matters without the so-called gospel.

It's wonderful.

What I lost: some friends/acquaintances. No different, in my opinion, with losing touch with all the people I've worked with over the years.

I'd say the gains have been enormous and the losses--nothing.

Wow... many of you listed some of the benefits I have enjoyed!
It all boils down, to me anyhow, in taking my power back and owning it! It is a whole new level of freedom.
The benefits to leaving the LDS Church and living my life on my own terms, using my own brain to create my World View has been a wonderful experience.

I love having every day in my own control. I found out there was no need for any religious belief in my life. None.
Living an honest, decent, responsible life is better done without any external intrusive rules and regulations.

It's quite simple, actually: treat others the way you want to be treated, be kind, grateful, appreciative, honest and respectful and take responsibility for yourself. All of that is just part of being human.

There is a much greater level of joy and love beyond any limited religious teaching,concept, notion. I have found a greater kind of peace and joy and freedom which I did not know existed! It's wonderful!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2016 02:45AM by SusieQ#1.

I'm glad you mentioned my main benefit, SusieQ.

LOVE!

With V-Day coming up, I can write about LOVE.

I'm still a divorced single working mother, with no husband--no priesthood in the home, but no one is abusing me, anymore. I choose to never marry again. I also have fewer friends. (They were fake, anyway.

Yet--I live in a world filled with real LOVE--unconditional love--giving and receiving it from my family, my career and colleagues, my volunteer work, my dog, nature, etc.

My life really took off, after I left the cult, and my children are very successful, too. Without the Mormons and their cult constantly demeaning and depressing me, I've been happy and free. My former Mormon friends no longer speak to me, but they see my house and my children's houses being upgraded. My children all have houses in the neighborhood. The snarky Mormon neighbors see expensive cars in our driveway, happy grandchildren coming and going to and from school, my attractive, physically fit adult children loading the skis and bicycles and kids onto their cars, and they know we're all "professionals." Too bad they were too busy judging, harassing, and abusing us, to realize how kind, moral, and wonderful, and hilarious my children really are. And how loving they are.

I had several different pairs of Mormon men, on several different visits, make the same nasty threats to me, as were made to "the lv." Those men intimidated me, and made me cry. Now, I want nothing to do with them.

I'm proud of you, Allegro! I enjoy doing more "hands-on" in person volunteer work, now, too. You nailed it, when you wrote, "Mormons don't want to get out there and meet who they are helping."

I left the church around the age of 23... 46 years ago.

I was neither harassed, nor pursued... nor did anyone (other than close family members) express any great disappointment at my leaving. My appearance (l-o-n-g hair and beard) may have been deterring new membership(?) :)

Part of my disillusionment with LDS leadership was a failure to oppose the Vietnam War.* Is there any limit to "...being subject to kings, presidents and rulers..."?

I also queried the inability of Afro-Americans to enter the priesthood, ostensibly because a forebear had sinned. That explanation conflicted with another Article of Faith, wherein "A man shall be punished for his _own_ sins, not for others' transgressions,,, ,"

Benefits of leaving? I'd almost certainly be less-wealthy, had I stayed... and paid. I'd most likely _not_ have met my wife while partying back in '76... and our two wonderful sons therefore wouldn't exist!

Hell on Wheels? I enjoy the show, which is entertaining fiction. Its depiction of Mormons however is far less kind than my own 15-year experience... . I bear the church no ill will at all.

* My mother was, nonetheless, ready to move the family to Berne, Switzerland, had one of her sons been conscripted.