I don't remember it feeling this bad. Maybe because at this time last year, I knew my kid would be out for winter break in a couple of weeks.

Ooof. Painful.

Family Turkey Days were pretty crap. Being alone is definitely better, but it's not great.

I think it's just hitting me. People at work asked me what my plans are. They feel sorry for me. I feel sorry for myself.

I'm sorry, Beth...

I will be thinking about you...and I wish you weren't going to be alone.

:(

I've been binge watching "Lost Girl," and I hope it doesn't start sucking.

Let's see, yes in still near Seattle but not in the city.

If I were in the Denver area, I'd bring peach cobbler. :-)

I will gladly hunt trolls when I wake up.

I don't feel so alone now, thanks to all of you.

ETA: Wrong place suchasforthechildrenwhodonthavemaps



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2015 07:30AM by Beth.

Poor baby. You could come to our house, such as it is. One child with depression, the other....well, you know.

Hey beth, been there and done that. My son and his wife are out of state with her family. My other child will be here a couple hours tomorrow, then I'll be alone the rest of the day. I have been alone totally at Thanksgiving and Christmas before. It is a weird feeling, so I know what you mean. (((((Beh)))))) hugs and love to you!

I mean ((((beth)))) not ((((beh))))) maybe I should spend the extra time practicing typing! Lol

If you email me, I'll email you back, Beth. It's been a long time anyway.

I feel for ya girl friend.

I've been there, done that, and more than once.

There are worse things.

What if you didn't have all the turkeys here to sympathize with you?

You are going to be here with me watching for trolls :)

I suppose the turkeys'll be out in full force, won't they?

I'm going to be alone tomorrow too. Last year, I bought a family deal thing of Chinese food and spent all day eating whatever I wanted. It was WONDERFUL! I plan on doing it again this year.
I rather lay in bed and watch TV and eat all the Americanized Chinese food I can while drinking all the wine I want than sit through a dinner with a bunch of people I'm pretending to like.
It's great!

I shall be alone tomorrow. I look forward to a day off work, brimming with joy in the beautiful land that I get to call my own. Instead of eating turkey, I'll be watching the flock of 11 and the flock of 5 wild turkeys when the pass through my fields on their foraging routes. There will be no roaring city noises, no TVs or stereos blaring, no banal chatting. I shall drink in the solitude and laugh out loud with thanksgiving in my heart at being about the luckiest somnobitch on the planet.

I'll prolly pop in here occasionally, too, looking for trolls to not feed.

I'm going to be alone. But at least I have shoe polish to sniff and thus get high...

Except that I got very, very lucky and I'm not really alone. I guess that's a bit of difference; I'm alone but I'm not lonely. Plus I've just learned to make corn bread and I have butter and honey!

If I see you on FB, I'll say hi! or if it's after I've been at the shoe polish, I'll say high...

You're good people, Beth and I like you.

"Plus I've just learned to make corn bread"

You've JUST NOW learned to make corn bread?

You're not much of a Lamanite, are ya. :-)

I will come and talk to you Beth. Not that I have much to say. And you might find you like your own company for a change anyway.

But we are always here, as you know.

Kinda spooky, ain't it? :)

But I understand that is probably not a consolation for you. Do something that is fun, fix delicious food for yourself, curl up with a book. Sounds like a working definition of heaven to me!

I'll be by myself, but I prefer it that way.

Alone: Do whatever you want, eat anything, wear anything (or nothing), get up and go to sleep whenever. No one to complain or judge.

With others: Endure inane small talk, pointless blather, dumb politics. Deflect inappropriate questions. Can't wait to get out.

Awww, Beth! If o lived closest to the Lands Of Uranium Spiced Winds, know you would have a place to deal with obnoxious know it alls, that just want to feed you.

I suspect there will be a lot of people who will be in a house full of people, yet still be very alone. I felt that way whenever I was at my parents house during the holidays.

Spent at least one Thanksgiving and one Christmas alone--it's not so bad.

I made them my days.

I work 6 hours tomorrow. I volunteered. But I'm having one of my disabled brothers to dinner. My sister is having the other one. They argue too much.

My daughter's ex-fiance will be coming to dinner. My daughter is in Tennessee. His mother has TG on Saturday so as many of her 16 children as possible can come, so he had nowhere to go.

My ex will be here, as will my boyfriend, and my son will be here.

It will be an odd mix. I hadn't planned on doing anything. Haven't cooked a turkey in 12 to 15 years.

I hope you find something to occupy your time. Go to a new movie? Sounds like there are a few good ones that just came out. I do so hope you find something to do that will make you feel less lonely.

If you were in Utah, I'd invite you to dinner, too.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2015 03:11AM by cl2.

Where do you live Beth? We are in the Denver area. If you are anywhere around there, come have dinner with us. I'll check this post first thing in the morning.

I'm pretty sure the gal I met named Beth ('met' here) at Green Lake park in Seattle, IDK if she's still living here...

Beth, I've been there done that, too. You won't be alone, because we RFMers will be here--but, I know what you mean.

My very loneliest times have been when I was married to a wife-beater, who kept me separated from friends and family. I was never alone--that creep was in my face 24/7. Absolutely--there are worse things than being alone!

Maybe it comes down to comparisons. When I resigned from the cult, I lost all my neighborhood Mormon friends, and then my children went away to college. I wasn't alone, because I had an old dog and two old cats, that were also left behind. We had 7 more good years together--surprise!

I'm usually alone for most of of Christmas, and most of Thanksgiving because my children go to their in-laws. Also, they like to have their own private celebrations. I use the time to plan and prepare for their next visit.

You are right! "Crap" holidays are worse than being alone. Remember that! Be sure you don't give yourself crap! The critical Mormon voices in my head were replaced by my own critical voice, until I woke up and realized that I was perpetuating their habits. Be very kind and loving to yourself. I love the Chinese food idea! Watch some favorite movies. When I lived alone, I walked every day--even in the worst weather. The bad weather was a reminder that nothing was going to get me down--and I would go out and conquer it. Sunny days were the hardest.

Don't let others pity you! That can be very depressing. I used to lie to people, and tell them I was eating with family and friends, so I wouldn't appear pathetic. I was ashamed, but, actually, choosing to be alone doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.

We'll see you tomorrow, sometime between 4:00 PM and 10:00 PM.

Beth, you are very much loved, here on RFM! ((hugs))

Tune into Channel 706. :-)

A couple of my neighbors will be alone tomorrow. I invited them to come with me to my sister's place up the road, but they both declined. Hey, I tried to do my part.

Well, bethie, done been on a turkey hunt (and I found one in my fridge-top shelf) It's had its little turkey bath and is now resting in the oven at 350 degrees! Sounds promising!

Hi Beth,

Hope your Thanksgiving isn't so bad after all.

This past week was one of more introspection than usual as I came to an awareness that being alone can be a time for self-discovery and doing things that maybe you'd put off when you were raising a family.

My grandmother looked at it this way: she'd taken care of others for much of her life when grandpa died after they'd been together 42 years of marriage. Before him it was aging aunts, then children, then grandpa. When it came grandma's time for herself she found it was a trade-off. Being lonely or her independence.

She decided her independence meant more to her than her occasional bouts of loneliness. And that's what she came to value more and it helped her cope during the times she felt lonely.

Hope you find something worthwhile to do on your own, that brings you pleasure.

As for me, I'm alone, but looking forward to a small but simple T-day dinner, with some minor trimmings. I don't go all out for a party of one. But I eat exactly what I want and when I want to. And my schedule is whatever I want it to be. :)

Macy's Day Parade was always a tradition when I was growing up, and with my children when they were. Now they're on their own, and moved away, and my family's out west.

When my children were in grade school we still lived in NYC. Their school did a field trip one year to the Macy's warehouse in Brooklyn where the big balloons were kept during the year. I got to go with them for that field trip, and I was so glad I did.

For this Thanksgiving, my little dog and I will keep each other company today. He likes the attention.

:)

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly" Thanksgiving.

https://youtu.be/lf3mgmEdfwg

Hi Beth,
Sending you big hugs and lots of sweetness on this Thanksgiving Day. You are not alone in spirit. I'm with you. Can you get out to see a movie or go shopping or do something for yourself? That may cheer you up. Be well.

I have a place to go and each year I feel more and more like I am an obligation to them. I keep thinking this will be my last year. Christmas I am alone. However it is Movie day, luckily the theaters are open. Make this day your movie day.

I love you my Bethie.........

and I'm so glad we met all those years ago. You are truly
one of the most courageous people I know and also one of the
most original, which counts alot to me.

I'll be thinking of you all day today.

Big Hugs,

Saucie

I came to this board because I realized that the mormon is a sticky substance and is nearly impossible to completely remove from the folds and creases of the brain.

It is a comfort to know that there are others who struggle with the mormon and can't unsee or unlearn what all mormon entails and the effects it has on one's life.

However, as time passes I have come to realize that the people here give me so much more than understanding how to not be mormon in thought and deed. It is reassuring to read that others are okay with being alone. Not only physically alone, but alone in thoughts and feelings, even when in a crowded room. I didn't realize that I not only struggled with the mormon, but as a no-more member of their country club, I was not a member of any club of any kind.

Sure, it's kinda tough sometimes, but to come here and touch base with others who are of a similar ilk makes it all okay. I don't want to hang out with everyone here, just knowing you are out there and are able to navigate life as an outcast of one kind or another is ample comfort and that helps me not be so critical of myself for not 'fitting in' anywhere.

Thank you all. Posts like these does my heart good.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2015 11:25AM by csuprovograd.