This is a really good introduction to polyamory for anyone who is unfamiliar with either the concept, or the way it actually works in real life.
The configurations of partners is up to each poly relationship---for example, it could be three adult males...or three adult females...one woman and two men...two [often] started-out-as-couples who decide to become a "quad" of four people...
...every poly family, and who is included in that family, depends on the people involved and what THEY want. (Poly families tend to be very egalitarian, with everyone having a voice and every voice being heard and included in any consensus...and this also, when appropriate, includes the children in the family, whose voice is ALSO heard and included when possible, depending on the circumstances and the age, etc., of the child.)
The poly family in the article is a good example of poly life and a three-adult-person family.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2015 01:49PM by tevai.
I don't think Mormon polygamy and consensual polamory have anything in common except more than two partners being involved. Polyamorists are all about consent and women's/individual rights. Also lots of different gender configurations and no religiosity. Polar opposites really.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2015 02:23PM by woodsmoke.
woodsmoke Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I don't think Mormon polygamy and consensual > polamory have anything in common except more than > two partners being involved. Polyamorists are all > about consent and women's/individual rights. Also > lots of different gender configurations and no > religiosity. Polar opposites really.
TDM Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > There's nothing wrong with polygamy imo. Marrying > an extra woman and not telling your existing wives > is a problem.
My perspective is that "marrying an extra woman" without the WILLING, FULLY KNOWLEDGEABLE, and GENUINELY VOLUNTARY PERMISSION of [each of] your already-existing partners is the problem...
Every person in a committed relationship is (certainly in my own opinion!!!) equal to any (or all) other persons in that relationship...
This is one of the most important differences between patriarchal relationships (in real life, mostly "polygamy" in its most widely understood forms), and polyamorous relationships (which, overwhelmingly, tend to be egalitarian philosophically, and in actual real life).
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2015 03:14PM by tevai.
I definitely felt like there was in imbalance of power. The gal with the baby and two in-house sexual partners seemed to have more benefits. Of course, that may not be the case, but at the surface it seemed like the family revolved around her.
The recent TV shows on the different types of polygamous families has been very informative, in my view. It has given them the opportunity to come out of the shadows and live honestly with persecution. I suppose it will always appeal to some folks. Never had any appeal to me, though.
I'm Opposed to them mainly because of the children who have no choice about who gives birth and rears them. If these "adults" remained childless, I'd have no objection.
No babies have that choice, though. Many young children with parents who remarry have no choice, either. Maybe I am missing something, but I don't see a difference.
To indulge in some "process analysis," this one is simply a variation on "Wedge Theory" practices by the so-called Discovery Institute and other anti-evolution groups who insist there is a controversy when there is none.
Or to Godwinize the debate, I'll point to Josef Goebbels who noted if you tell a big enough lie long enough...
The Supreme Court ruled slavery is inherently unequal; similarly polygamy is inherently abusive.
A note to the newer sorts on the board (including ADMIN): There are a number of us here, Cheryl and myself included, who have extensive familiarity with the subject and actual individuals (unsought on my part, honest, including the "accident of birth" element of having polygamist ancestors. Perhaps I should repeat my one-liner about how the happiest day of my g-g-grandmother's life was the day her husband's first wife died). What we've seen is miles apart from the "idealistic libertarianism" of those who insist it is a viable alternative lifestyle.
Never mind that these claims are "off-topic" as well and rare enough that it's reasonable to criticize them as straw man arguments; as a number of objective sorts I've known who reported on this subject pointed out, the males in polygamist relationships spend countless hours "putting out the fires of jealousy," and that element of human nature is not going to disappear despite the façades of denial that insist it doesn't exist. It's clear those dynamics would also exist in and M-M-F, F-F-F, M-M-M-?, relationships as well, and children deserve better protection from their parents' hormone-fueled follies.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/25/2015 03:48PM by SL Cabbie.
The imbalance and built in abusiveness is in the numbers with little or no connection to religious beliefs.
These "families" are rife with power struggles, psychological game playing and almost always a revolving door of mates coming and going because their needs can't be met and the situation is more complicated than tiptoeing through a poisonous snake pit.