Can Mormons connect with anyone else or group not Mormon??

How in the heck can someone, not Mormon, connect in a meaningful way with a Mormon(s) ??

I don't think it's possible

At least that's my experience.

I agree, it's extremely difficult to have TBM friends. They generally talk a lot about church, get offended by anything not chaste and virtuous, and they love to gossip about others. The Boner.

... view non-Mormons as little more than potential converts.

It is impossible. I want very much to connect with my family members in the CULT. But as time goes on, I realize that they consider me to me nothing but garbage (the horrible apostate!) so to hell with me (or I should say outer darkness.)

It probably didn't help that I said that I'd rather be in outer darkness for eternity than be anywhere near JS. Whatever.

I am going to try one more time on my favorite cousin. She has not acted like I am garbage but she avoids the topic of the cult with me. I am sending her Jeremy Runnell's letter to the CES. I am not in Utah so I am having someone in Utah send it so it will appear to come from someone in Utah. There are a few other family apostates. I think if anything might get her to listen, (or at least read it without freaking out since Runnells is not anti-Mo), that letter might do it. It is so well written and researched and like Runnells himself said it looks at the entire forest picture rather than a few trees.

I also believe that the letter reveals Runnells' sincerity and integrity. Any thoughts to help with my very much loved TBM cousin?

Just FYI - this cousin's life circumstances have had some influence on her not being so self righteous as she used to be - her daughter in law is black, he brother is a drag queen (a RM drag queen) who was ex'd back in the 70s, and her new son-in-law is tattooed a lot. She loves him though because he treats her daughter well. Her other daughter's hubby is Hispanic and one of her son's wife is also Hispanic. She loves them too because they treat her kids (their spouses) well. Needless to say, her kids are not serious TBMs except the one with the black wife. They are Temple TBMs. Some folks in Utah haven't been to nice to them because they are interracial but my cousin is not guilty of that at all.
All of these things have opened up her mind and heart to a point.
So now, my cousin is more open minded than many TBMs so I hope the Runnells letter will help. My cousin and her hubby still have callings up the ying yang which they try to keep up with and never miss a tithing payment.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2015 12:57AM by verilyverily.

I have to echo RPackham, below.

If she hasn't treated you badly, why do something that could upset her? Avoiding discussing religion is often the wisest course that you can take. There is a whole world of other things to talk about.

Isn't it annoying to you when some Mormons only want to talk about The Church? Why not accept your cousin as she is (that is what you want her to do with you, isn't it?)

She sounds like a decent person. Why would you need to give her information that threatens her beliefs? If she asks you for that sort of thing, then go ahead.

But if she doesn't ask for it, why not just be her friend and let her be yours?

I think it may be possible for some members who may have a global mindset that is diversified, but the challenge overall is that the morg is a different culture that practices elitism and isolates itself from the world. It's like living in a bubble, and asking them to come out of their comfort zone of elitism may be a stretch. You need a lot of patience and be prepared to teach them how to treat people with respect, the same way they wanted to be treated. It's a lot of work.

To Verilyverily:

I don't think you can "connect" to a TBM by trying to deconvert them. Rather, you connect in ways that have nothing to do with religion.

That has been my experience.

Telling phrases I have heard often from TBMs:


They are such nice people--shame they aren't Mormons.

She's not Mormon, but she's really nice.

He's a great guy--even though he's not Mormon.

She's such a great lady. Breaks my heart she can't accept the (Mormon) Gospel.


If you aren't Mormon, then you are "Brand X."

As long as that is their attitude,there is no way they can truly connect with others in a genuine, honest manner. Friendship only works on a level playing field.

It's no different than trying to connect with anyone who is vocally or visibly religious.

You stay the h3ll away from talking about religion (as RPackham said above).

The church builds a tight, self-referencing club that's suspicious of "gentiles" and keeps finding more ways for believers to spend time only with other believers, then it wonders why members have no non-Mormon friends to proselytize.

That's a tough question in the original post.

On the one hand, I have friends who are Mormons and who are very good friends despite the fact that they know that I live a very different life than the one accepted by the church.

We simply don't talk about religion. In fact, with most of them, it's never come up as a discussion point. We do, however, have lots of other things to talk about and lots of common interests outside of religion. I think that that is the key.

On the other hand, I have Mormon family members, once the dearest people in the world to me, who shun me and talk about me in the rudest and most offensive way that I can imagine. For the few who do still talk to me, every conversation has to be about TSCC and why it is my only possible hope for happiness.

Those are people with whom I reluctantly decided that I can no longer have a relationship. I don't shun them --- I speak to them in a friendly way when we are thrown together. I offer to help them if they seem to need a hand. But they never respond in any way except to criticize my values and beliefs. So I don't seek them out any longer. That's just simple self defense.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2015 01:22PM by peculiargifts.