WHY ? WHY ? Whyyyyyyyyyy, pray tell , can't we just move to a different freakin' ward if we are not comfortable in the one we live in.
( I know all of the technical reasons , so you don't need to
"enlighten" me ).
Why can't we go where we are more comfortable. I can't stand our ward. Oh my goodness ! The Holy Ghost just murmured ( sp?) to me that I'd probably not like any of the other wards here , either
Now THIS is interesting ! ( I have a feeling the Holy Ghost doesn't like any of'em , either ).

because MORmONISM is NOT about what is good for you, so contrary to what they preach. it is about what is good for them !!

smirkorama Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> because MORmONISM is NOT about what is good for
> you, so contrary to what they preach. it is about
> what is good for them !!

True , true !

it's control. They choose which ward you attend, not you.

Growing up, I lived in 6 different wards in 15 years. We never moved. The stake president kept re-arranging ward boundaries according to the leadership he needed in each ward.

We got REAMED at one point because we refused to change wards for 1 year. We wanted to remain part of the one we'd been in for 2 or 3 years. He called our family in and told us that if we weren't willing to attend the proper ward, my parents wouldn't have callings. My father laughed at him.

Finally, he put the power of the priesthood to my mother and guilted her into getting us to attend the proper ward. I remember crying (along with several siblings) when we found out that my mom caved and we'd be leaving our ward (with friends) to another one where we didn't know people.

What a jerk.

It's about control.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/25/2015 03:39PM by hopefulhusband.

You reminded me of something. About 20 years ago we got special permission to go to a different ward. After about 6 months , at least a third of our ward we'd moved from had come over to the ward we'd moved to. One week , the SP came into sacrament mtg. & said : "After we gave the Martins' permission to come to this ward a third of the other ward left , also. Everybody who left the other ward has to go back ". I didn't want to , but DH caved & said we needed to. I'll never forget one older man who'd been in the previous ward's bishopric when he left , looked straight at the SP & said " I'll be DAMNED if I'm going back."
The rest of us went back. ~~Miserably , I might add ~~~.

THAT must be a STORY!!

First of all, they're always about control. "You think you control your own life? Wrong. We own you and you will do as we say."

Secondly, they can't keep an eye on you as easily if you keep moving around and they need to know where you are and what you're doing.

And I guess the third reason would be because then they know exactly where the tithing money is going to land and they can better plan on what to do with that money.

i can recall people selling their house and moving just to change ward, was ok if market was going up lol

This business of being assigned to a ward and you can't move is just utterly, utterly, utterly bizarre.

It goes along with bishops' interviews and disciplinary councils in my box of "things Mormons put up with that non-Mormons would punch someone rather than submit to".

Seriously, if you still feel like it's in any way normal to be expected to submit to these kind of infantilising control techniques - it really, really isn't!

Agreed. It's one of those things that freak you out after you leave...

Attending a 'Greek festval' held at a church AND JUST ANYONE CAN COME?!? as a random 'foodie' event in town?!?

They CHARGE for food?!? as a fund raiser and RANDOM PEOPLE **PAY**?!?

AND THE FOOD TASTES GREAT?!?!? wow... That's why they pay!

THIS IS 'NORMAL CHURCH' stuff?!?

Wtf?!? No need for a chaperone (someone who's 'fellowshiping' or a missionary out for a dunk count...).

Cult

In other churches you not only get to pick which church to attend but which service to go to!

Knew a very well-off family who told the church which ward they would be attending.

No fuss made. Tithing speaks.

Same here. My neighbors were living right on the edge of the boundary and didn't want to be forced over into a newly created boundary. They had moved into their home because it was in the same ward where all their grandkids went to church. They just told the bishop they would keep going to the old ward for family reasons and even if the bishop objected they wouldn't move. They were retired and contributed a lot in tithing. They also spent winters in Arizona so I don't think they had any serious callings.

I knew a young girl who had been raped by a guy in their ward. The parents requested permission to go to another ward so their daughter wouldn't have to go to church with her rapist. Request denied. They were told that they needed to stay and forgive. They did what they were told.

The entire situation was disgusting. I couldn't believe the parents went along with that, but they did. I can't imagine subjecting a young girl to her rapist and his family every time she went to church. To make matters worse, his parents were in leadership positions, and they were furious that their son had been outed. Never mind that he'd also raped at least one or more of his younger sisters.

madalice Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I knew a young girl who had been raped by a guy in
> their ward. The parents requested permission to go
> to another ward so their daughter wouldn't have to
> go to church with her rapist. Request denied. They
> were told that they needed to stay and forgive.
> They did what they were told.
>
> The entire situation was disgusting. I couldn't
> believe the parents went along with that, but they
> did. I can't imagine subjecting a young girl to
> her rapist and his family every time she went to
> church. To make matters worse, his parents were in
> leadership positions, and they were furious that
> their son had been outed. Never mind that he'd
> also raped at least one or more of his younger
> sisters.

I'd stay in that ward long enough to hurt the hell out of the guy who raped my daughter , half kill the guy , then I'd turn around to the leaders of that ward & tell'em to F**K off. WHO'S idea was in the Pre-Existence was it to FORCE in the first place !??
Yea.................

I've seen this several times in my lifetime. Once, a newly widowed woman with 3 YOUNG kids was going to her mom and dad's ward so that they could help her with the kids. After 6 months or so she was told that she had to attend her own ward. WTH?? Why does it matter anyway? There is no attention paid to special circumstances. I just had to shake my head.

One other instance that comes to mind is my elderly in-laws. They had lived in the same house for 60 years, and when the area became more populated a new building was made to accommodate all the young families moving into the area. My in-laws just had the bad luck to not be in the same ward as all their elderly friends. They were told that they needed to attend their new ward. They hated it. I asked my FIL why he just didn't go to his old ward so he could see his friends, and he told me that "they" wouldn't let him. I asked him what he thought "they" would do to him if he refused.

"Do you think they would tackle you and MIL in the parking lot and force you to leave"?

He said no, and laughed at the thought, but wouldn't take my advice to just go where he wanted.

Hey, you may have given an accurate name to a new brand of mormonism!!

I totally chortled

I agree with all the control issues and other answers.

I am guessing that there could be real problems in areas if there is a "popular" bishop in one ward, and an "unpopular" bishop in a nearby ward. They would have a terrible time managing a mass exodus and a double-sized ward.

I mean I get it

but I don't

it's aggravating

My old ward bishop was much more christian then our new combined-ward drill sergeant

Kinda screws-up that stupid "the church is the same everywhere you go" bullshit they tout

It's crazy to hear members talk about this "trial that is really just a blessing" regarding the new ward/bishop

WAKE-UP

But that's just what happens in life. some churches are popular. Others aren't. The popular ones are happy with their popularity; the unpopular ones work harder to get attendees, or just fade out.

This idea that you have to control that sort of thing, that you CAN control it, is just weird.

There are 3 Church of Scotland churches in my area. Two are very busy; the third is not.

The Presbytery (governing body) will take decisions, eg about whether to put more resources into the quieter church to try and attract people, or withdraw them and support busier churches instead.

But the idea that they would go to the busy churches and tell the people they have to stop going there and go to the quiet one... why? So the numbers are even? It's just like something off another planet.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/26/2015 01:43AM by finnan haddie.

I love love love having the freedom to go when and where I choose to worship.

That's life affirming. Being allowed the "agency" to go where we will.

The last ward I attended I was outside the bounds. They'd moved my ward to a downtown location so the inner city could have some suburban members to round out its numbers.

Having zero desire to go downtown on my Sundays, as I worked d/t during the week, and I hate the drive-in - miles away. So I said, if I attend LDS church services, it will be to the suburban ward closer to our home.

The people were wealthier there than the suburban ward boundaries where I was located. So it was a sort of "snob appeal" that they had their ward all to themselves. They didn't want to share it with the "lesser fortunates."

I made no bones about it. If I was going to attend, they weren't going to dictate to me where that would be. So, they backed off and respected my right (over that issue.)

If not for the meddlesome bishop's wife and young women's leader who did some despicable things behind my back regarding my minor daughter at the time, I might have stayed on longer.

They are some of the shallowest and most deceitful people I believe I have ever known.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/25/2015 07:40PM by amyjo.

My parents have gone through this too. They're right on edge of the ward boundary, and it's been changed 3 or 4 times in the past couple of years. They've had to go to different wards where they don't know anyone, And had their church time changed several times as well. I don't understand why anyone puts up with that nonsense.

Same with the forced church schedules. Some of the church times are ridiculous if you have young kids or just have a life in general. I know they expect you to have your entire Sunday devoted to the church, but waiting around til 1:00 to go for your 3 hour lecture is total bullshit. Maybe they'd get their attendance numbers up if they gave people a little leeway.

I never wondered about it..... I loved my ward, all of them.

Of course I live in Cali and that makes a difference from

what I understand.

When my family moved out of our ward boundaries we just continued to attend the same ward as if nothing happened.

One can take a job which interferes with the time of the "new ward" meetings but not the "old" ward. Voila! You can also go to the old ward and just say you can't make it to the new one. Finally, you can simply say you would not go at all if you can't go to the old ward. And mean what you say.

I've always wondered
What if...
Someone in the ward had sexually abused your ward has...
Raped you...
Stalked you....
Gone through a bitter divorce/breakup....
Bullied you...
And you are still forced to be co fronted by this individual as long as you still live in the same 'hood.

The SP changed the boundaries and told them they would have to drive across town to a distant chapel. They were elderly and didn't like to drive very far.

Too bad. They were told to attend the chapel they were assigned to attend and stop attending the closer ward.

Dad stopped going altogether.
Mom eventually had to stop attending as well.

Sometimes to obey can be dangerous. It would have been dangerous for them to drive a great distance each way.

Did anyone offer to pick them up? No. It would have been a long drive for them as well.

The thing that was so sad was that they had been the backbone of the ward including Rel Soc president and Bishopric. They were left out to pasture and forgotten.

And a chapel was just a few blocks away. But they weren't in 'that ward' anymore. The church has ridiculous policies and practices which have nothing to do with their ridiculous doctrine, but these things confirm and convince that it still has a complete lack of common sense and charity.

Before I left for good the last time, I would look around the chapel and note there were hardly any old people attending on a regular basis. In a ward with mostly young families, college students, and an upper class area it surprised me there weren't more older people. The community demographics had many more elderly people in the neighborhood than in that ward on any given Sunday. And yet going to any other denomination - Christian or Jewish in the SAME community there were countless elderly people at a given worship service.

The older people are not given the consideration they deserve in that church. The few that were older were pretty much treated like they were obsolete, and not people. The focus there is so little on charity that it seems natural the Mormon church fosters a sense of alienation in their elderly ranks.

There was a situation in a singles branch up here, a guy tried to take advantage of a gal that was a little slow mentally... The next Sunday at church he was gone, "reassigned" to a different singles ward. Our Bishop was actually truly awesome. But this was several years ago.

AGREE. This has got to be all about maintaining mind-control. They SAY it is so you can be close by for other ward members, adn that callings are tied to it but if they refuse to allow for special circumstances, then it can be for no other reason THAN CONTROL. More proof it IS a CULT. And ironically if it had not been for this rule, I might still be a happy member! here is my story about ward switching:
One year after my conversion Baptism we moved out of the ward, but still in the same stake. We requested a meeting with the Bishop, my 11 yr old son & I went, to ask to be able to stay in the ward, since we had made so many friends and also because I have social anxiety and my son has gone through some really rough psychological family things the past few years and we said we LOVE this ward and our lives are happy & please please can we stay. The Bishop told us NO, we cant stay, that only in rare cases such as Rape of a member is this ever allowed. He said this to me and my 11 year old son! Inappropriate much? Bizarre that he would say that and refuse us at the same time. It hurt us deeply that he refused us and in the new ward we were no one special and no one knew we were recent converts, there was no new convert group to join. We wuickly got lost in with other non perfect members and quickly realised how much of a caste system it really was & hwo there were elite families & the rabble.

JS gave his followers constant loyalty tests, asking even for their wives and for huge sums of money. Loyalty tests are one way to weed out trouble makers, which makes it easier to keep the remaining sheep in line.

I knew a couple, one of whom's parents bought a house in their ward. They actually moved from a house that they loved to one in a different ward.

I tend to find wondering what I would look like in a skirt to be more productive.